Sometimes I lay awake at night, a cold sweat pooling in the back of my brain, concerned that I may one day find myself in a Japanese hospital surrounded by gigantic syringes. Food would be served; a mixture of natto and Beyblades. The nurse would proceed to inject it directly into my stomach with a needle the size of seven crushed pumpkins taped together for a school project.
I’m not sure why, but nurses holding enormous novelty-sized syringes seems to be a very common thing with hentai – forever an accurate 2D perception of the 3D world – and it concerns me. That association had to come from somewhere. Also, also. Did you know there’s barely any decent Nurse Joy fanart out there? True story. I even delved into DeviantArt in search of something to use for the header image, which was a terrible mistake.
So whoa, hey. Here’s the character art for Nurse CQ Clinic. Or the far more interesting name of Nurse’s Uterus according to some retail listings. This is from Ride Japan, who seem to focus on making lots and lots of slightly… unique looking onaholes in the budget price range.
What is this, a PC game from the early 90’s? Jesus, that packaging so much bigger than it needs to be. There’s not even anything in there to hold the onahole in place; I could hear it slowly rolling and flopping around when I first picked up the box. A crinkling, squishy combination of noise, coming together like the soothing sounds of a tranquil river filled with furious bears.
Wait, what is that lube?
Haha, oh. Well okay. I imagine that could probably be a bit depressing. What well-developed irises you have, 12 millilitre girl. I tried using some of this and it dribbled out slowly and awkwardly, missing the hole almost entirely. Success.
Nurse CQ Clinic uh, kind of looks like a dog’s chew toy or something. It’s very spongy and has all these clumsy looking indentations everywhere to help get a better grip no matter where your hand is.
But what does the entrance look like? Does it live up to the exciting tease from the girl on the cover?
Yes. Perfect. It is an outstanding match. Good. Great.
For a handheld disembodied vagina toy, Nurse CQ Clinic surprisingly doesn’t exactly give off any promising vibes. I haven’t had much luck with flimsy and light onaholes, so I went in (hurr) with very little expectations. But it’s actually… something!
Again, I have to drive home just how sponge-like and flexible this thing is. Imagine if you will, two skateboarding horses going in opposite directions, with Nurse CQ Clinic tied aroundboth their dicks as they rail grind into the distance. It’d just keep stretching forever. Gnarly as fuck all up in this joint.
As a result, there’s absolutely zero resistance. You’ll slide right into this onahole with ease.
Snaking down the hallway, there are a few bumps and notches, followed by some thicker spiraling ridges to rub up against. Hitting the end, it’s basically just going to seal your head in a vacuum chamber. You can be an Indiana Jones today.
The internal structure offers minimal stimulation. It’s a pleasant, gentle feeling. Probably exactly what sticking your sweaty penis in a jar full of summer breeze would feel like. Also wow, it really hugs your shaft like crazy. That’s not something I expected given the material.
If you’re looking to get off quickly, or want to be aggressive with your stroking action, then no, this won’t do the job. I don’t think it was designed for that. Nurse CQ Clinic feels built for lengthier, more relaxed masturbation sessions. I guess? A gentleman’s onahole, then. It’d also be excellent training to improve upon your stamina.
Another plus is it’s super easy to clean, dries quickly and has no gross burning rubber smell to it. Soooo, thumbs up Ride Japan! You’ve done good. I would definitely put my penis in one of your holes again.
Final score: Getting a Wiggles Band-Aid and lollypop after a flu shot/10