Let’s talk about disposable onaholes, shall we? A heartfelt conversation. Unlike some poorly made toys that tend to break almost right away, these are purposely designed as a single use product. The one we’ll be looking at today is even advertised with the main appeal of being able to “bring it anywhere, such as business trips”.
Yes, you too could be masturbating during a PowerPoint presentation. Then when you’re done, just casually throw that sperm-soaked tube of mystery into the nearest bin. “Great use of Clipart, Garry!” You’d proclaim. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t belong in the room, or if there’s nobody there actually named Garry. Have a nap, you’ve earned it.
The general idea behind a disposable onahole certainly has some appeal. They’re cheap, there’s no awkward cleaning required and it’s a bit more variety than just sitting on your hand for a few minutes before going at it. The masturbation equivalent of a one night stand.
Disposable holes don’t even have to be holes! The Ona Pit’s look like sauce packets.
In faaaact, the disposable type is by far the most successful variety around the world thanks to a company known as Tenga. Their range of masturbation cups and ‘eggs’ have been around for ages and can be found in adult shops just about everywhere.
Uh, maybe I’ll do a dedicated Tenga feature one day, but just to stress how popular that brand is, there’s even a manga based on it called Tengirls, which Sony helped distribute.
So adding to my last order, I searched for the cheapest possible onahole available on NLS. Because hey, why not. It sure as hell didn’t bump up the postage cost.
Welcome to the Boku Ona: Super Quick. This ‘new type ona-hole’ with carbamate foam and love jelly in (!) cost a whopping $2.50. So yeah, what you’re looking at is the actual onahole. You put your penis in this cardboard box. Great! Inconspicuous.
Produced by MATE, the Boku Ona series seems to be their pride and joy. I’ve seen about five of them, each with different catgirls on the cover. Some of them are ‘proper’ toys that you can reuse, but MATE really just focuses on throwaway holes. And honestly, most look like total shit.
Opening it up, here’s that promised love jelly in. It’s your standard onahole lube. Normally this much would last a few sessions, but heeeeerrreeeee…
Yup. That’s… really going to require a substantial amount of slip ‘n slide. Yikes. It’s two layers of foam with a little plastic bag wrapped around the end so you don’t leak out the bottom of the cardboard. This has probably been the cause of several suicides.
But hang on, this isn’t the correct way to actually open it up for use!
Ah, there. You just tear the top off so there’s at least a bit of foam to cushion your crotch.
Beautiful. That took just mere seconds – you could rip it open while waiting in line for a coffee at Starbucks and flop out your grande to pass the time. “What’s that on your dick?” Someone might ask. “It is my new Apple Macintosh”. Nobody would suspect a thing.
Right, time for the finishing touch.
So… entering the Boku Ona: Super Quick is easy enough, but I felt that rough foam immediately start clinging tightly around my shaft. Unsurprisingly, this is not a pleasant feeling. There was a twinge of fear and instant regret, as if I’d just stuck my penis in an exhaust pipe full of tigers.
Attempting slight movement made it worse – all that lube did absolutely nothing. Slowly pushing my way down also caused the cardboard flaps at the bottom to pop right open, leaving just the onahole’s thin plastic wrap to prevent disaster. The foam was getting fucking painful, to the point where I lost my erection halfway through. And even flaccid, I was still just awkwardly stuck inside it.
Other members of MATE’s Boku Ona family.
But I had to see this through to the end, and get the full Boku Ona: Super Quick experience! So I went into fantasy overdrive mode, frantically opening up just about every single hentai folder I have on my hard drive, taking in a stream of images and retreating as far away from reality as possible to shut out the crushing difficulty of humping a harsh endzone of industrial strength foam.
The Boku Ona: Super Quick certainly lived up to that packaging promise of being a ‘new type’ of onahole. This one’s for masochists. I’ve never had such a horrible and confusing time whilst masturbating. Likewise, the arrow keys on my keyboard have never been subjected to a workout quite like this before.
In the end my hips were shaking upon orgasm. It was out of sheer pain.
Final score: A genuine near-death experience for the low, low price of $2.50.