Real Erotic Play – Laughing time is over

Product: Real Erotic Play
Manufacturer: Toy’s Heart
Retailers: J-List / NLS / CoolMST / Toy Demon
Artwork: 松竜

Now while I’m all for self-indulgent fake erotic play, sometimes you just need to close down the hentai for a bit, get your hands off/out of your junk and take a look outside at the real world. What real human beans, real heroes, jumping castles and maybe even ants could bring to the erotic table. Just briefly though, before shutting the blinds and making the most dismissive fart noise possible between pursed lips. Stuff that – real erotic play is now in the form of an onahole.

First up, I’d like to mention this product was sent directly from Toy’s Heart in Japan, making it the blog’s first ever review copy. Wow! Into the resume it goes, ‘professional wanker’. Seriously though, huge thanks to everyone (that’s you!) out there for helping this joint grow with your eye-views. Much love!

Alright, so this is the Real Erotic Play from Toy’s Heart, an onahole designed to help you “enjoy extreme bliss of insertion feeling” according to the cover description.

It doesn’t need any anime girls bowling their tits at you. The box art is just all hey, here’s what a baked bean looks like. Classy stuff. Already you can see that this onahole is a biiit curved, as the structure is attempting to recreate a more realistic vaginal experience than your standard gauntlet of nubs and ribs aross an alien landscape.

Even the single-use packet of lube it comes with is named like something I’d expect to slop on at a five-star restaurant while making full use of their free bread sticks.

Gripping down, Real Erotic Play almost feels like a stress ball. But I wouldn’t really suggest trying to squish it into one. Made from Toy’s Heart’s own(‘s) Nano Skin material – which is some kind of super foam lined with bubbles and bobbles – the onahole is pretty spongy. It’s nice to hold, and your hand will just casually settle into the bend.

There’s absolutely no smell to it, but evidently it might come with bonus scars on the side as mine did? I love that guy, he was my favourite lion king. Anyway, into the black hole we go!

Should probably point out that you’re meant to use the onahole facing up, because erections, but you can be a rebel and have it going down instead. Maybe turn the thing on its side if you’re feeling adventurous. That’s hardcore mode.

Popping into Real Erotic Play, you’re immediately hit by a raised bumpy chunk which pushes into the topside of your head. This leads to the onahole’s mid-section that gets much tighter and stronger around your shaft. It’s a fun one-two punch of pleasure. The grooved walls provide some pretty great feedback, so don’t hold back on asking your sex toy for advice. I found that this area also does a surprisingly nice job of ‘catching’ lube to help spread it around at a more even rate, instead of just instantly getting shoved down the end.

Then comes the best part, where I actually post a cross section of the onahole! Or rather, the simulated ‘cervix’.

This point puts a lot of pressure on, and the surrounding area acts as a massager. I swear, it feels like you’re smashing up again bubble wrap or something. It’s just as addictive, and presumably just as amazing. I dunno, I’ve never actually masturbated with a sheet of bubble wrap before. It’s on the list.

I recommend teasing your tip by just slightly poking it through the gap over and over for maximum erotic. Push right into the end chamber (uterus, final destination) and you’re greeted by some slightly thicker ribs and a bumpy stop sign. Meanwhile the walls are still tightly clinging on at different points. It’s beautiful.

So tl;dr – Real Erotic Play‘s internal structure is amazing. It’s like you’re fucking a real-life foam mascot in the palm of your hand. Go at it slow for best results, I reckon. Admire all the finer details.

As expected from the design though, cleaning it is going to be an annoying effort. Make sure to rinse well and jam someone’s finger in there to clear out any junk which might be caught in the grooves and right at the end. Being ‘Nano Skin’ (foam), it’ll dry off without any hassles though.

Other than that, putting my penis inside this toy was a good decision and it lived happily ever after (or until however long this onahole survives). The end.

Final score: Whoa, imagine a game of Twister where all the coloured circles are actually just onaholes. Right hand, bluuueeeaaaauugghh!