It’s that wonderful time of the year where you treat your face with candy and trick your gut into constipation. Such delicious pain; all to appease the skeletons and witches who fight Santa for supermarket shelf-space. At least, I think that’s how Halloween works. Dunno.
So let’s take a look at what the undead vegetable gods have graced our traditional plastic pumpkin bucket, shall we? We shall.
Wow, doesn’t look like there’s much in there. It’s almost like a single small bag of mixed lollies was purchased for the sake of this revie-
What… what the hell is this. Milk chews? Gross.
Oh it’s just that Mouth Alive! oral onahole from Prime which looks like a fucking VAMPIRE. Nothing to worry about here. Except getting an erection near it could be disastrous.
Mouth Alive!’s box art is just generic school girl™, so I mean, I’m fairly certain they weren’t actually going for the whole vampire look. But here we are! It’s a tiiiiny toy with a packet of lube almost the same size.
The girl does have a bit of a fang though, so maybe this was supposed to be cute or something.
If so, they kinda maybe failed.
Prime has two versions of Mouth Alive! out there in the form of ‘Real’ and ‘Dream’. They look the same on the outside, but their internal structure is different. I went with Real because hey, no sugar-coating damn it. I demand an accurate rubber recreation of a vampire mouth for a true-to-life-death blowjob.
Also NLS didn’t have the other one in stock at the time anyway. I really hope that doesn’t mean these things are popular. That would truly be the scariest thing.
That’s ‘Real’ on top and ‘Dream’ on bottom.
I mentioned it was small, right? Because it sure is. IT SURE IS. The inside of Mouth Alive! measures in at about two and a half inches – and being a super budget hole, that material isn’t going to survive much stretching.
Before anything, the entrance put up quite a challenge! There I was slipping and sliding my cock all over its fangs and nose, making a mess. Probably didn’t help that I was giggling like a dickhead at how ridiculous the onahole looked. But phew, finally got it in there.
My immediate response was to yank it down, but doing so essentially just turned the thing into a weird condom. Being careful, I tried to focus mostly on my head and that was… alright, I suppose. It’s just a fairly simple ribbed design, but that goes to shit pretty quick.
But then Mouth Alive! accidentally (?!) fell onto the floor. Shortly after it somehow teleported to the rubbish bin, and was never seen again. Too spooky.
Here it is next to The Mouth of Truth just for a quick size comparison.
Bring on the unintentional Christmas-themed onahole, Prime! Actually, no. Don’t. “We were going for a vagina, but it looks like Tim Allen. Why does this keep happening?”
Final score: There was a hole here. It’s gone now.