Fappy New Year, everyone! Also, goin’ to Japan soon-ish


I guess this’ll be a bit of DEAR DIARY, but holy crap guys, thanks so much for all your support this year! The blog kinda unexpectedly took off, like an onahole momentarily left hands-free due to keyboard related multitasking. Except not nearly as sticky.

Given that it started with essentially just a joke ‘review’ to get a feel for WordPress twelve months back (I wasn’t sure what the hell to actually do with this URL), I’m still surprised. That, you know… writing about how I put my penis inside a rubber vagina/butt/mouth/mystery hole the other night or whatever is so much fun.

But yeah, I really appreciate all the comments left (even though I’m a dickhead and take forever to respond), the retweets, replies, thumbs up, all that internet jazz. You’re all fantastic. Even that one guy on the Toy Demon forum who wants to punch me in the face apparently! It’s fun checking site stats to see where everyone’s linking reviews from – lots of super cool fetish forums out there, yo.


So 2015, huh? Honestly, I’ve got bugger all at the moment in terms of potential content. No new onaholes lately, and I’m too broke to afford any right now. That’s alright though, filler content (LIKE THIS) will save the day. Besides, the main reason I have zero fun bucks to import with is because I’m saving like mad for Japan in late January (the 29th to be exact). That’ll be fun!

I’ll be hitting up various Akihabara sex stores for… feature content, I guess? Plus actually buying a shitload of onaholes in bulk. Hopefully I’ll be allowed back in the country with a suitcase full of wobbly ‘figures’. Maybe even review one or two over there (I’ll be there for a little over three weeks). Oh man. If you’ve got any suggestions or know of worthwhile joints to check out, please let me know!

Aside from that, I duuuunno. 2015 will likely be more of the same rambling with Waluigi and Moisty. Maybe, MAYBE I’ll finally try and learn how to use WordPress, rather than just hope for the best with this unsupported free theme which is falling apart and completely shits itself when viewed on a mobile device. That’d be exciti-oaaaauugghhh – see ya around! Happy new year and all that!


Things this year that H2-WHOA:
Something Awful did a write-up on the blog.
– Managed to scrape into Kinkly/Lelo’s ‘Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2014’ at number 97. HOW WHY.
– Note to self: edit this wank-fest in the morning or whatever!

12 thoughts on “Fappy New Year, everyone! Also, goin’ to Japan soon-ish

  1. Fappy new year to you :D
    A trip to Japan?! Damn, that makes me hate living on the other side of the planet, it makes shipping so expensive and shipping my body there even more. Have a fun looting at Akiba ! *jealouuuuuuuuuuus*

    More onahole bloggers in 2015 ! Everybody just open a WordPress and have some fun too :)

  2. Just found you recently and I love the “hole” web sight. Anyway, I am planning to get my first onahole and I am torn between Seventeen Evo Soft, and Sujiman Kupa Rinka. Any final advice you could give to tip my choice?

    • Hey thanks! I think out of the two, I’d recommend the Sujiman Kupa Rinka. It’ll leave a stronger first impression to the world of onaholes; the design and feedback edges out the Seventeen Evo. It’s also built a bit tougher.

  3. Fappy new year to you too! Hope it’s as awesome as mine was, got a $200 silicon paperweight as a gift from a friend and broke in the new year early b/c of a party tonight.

    love the SA review, kinda funny to me b/c part of the reason I like your blog so much is your reviewing/writing style is really reminiscent of mid-00’s Zack Parsons (and Kidfenris, but he has no connection to SA.)

    Have fun in Japan – I’ll ask a couple friends for shop recs, though they’re mostly women so ymmv.

    • Oh that’d be super rad, thanks! I’d be up for checking out pretty much whatever for fun.
      Sounds like you had my new year beat! I remember looking at my onahole collection in the early hours of the morning and then… I fell asleep at some point. PARTY_ANIMAL.GIF

  4. Fappy New Year! I was interested in starting a onahole review and I wanted to ask what site do you recommend and if I should use a premium account or start with a free account. Thanks and hope you have a good year.

    • I went with Host Gator for this blog ($10 a month hosting) mostly because they seemed to be the most user friendly (I have no idea what I’m doing with technical details!), but you’d honestly be fine just using a free WordPress account to start off with. A paid service opens up a few more options like being able to display advert banners and so forth, but there isn’t much difference otherwise. Or at least, from what I can tell!

  5. Thanks for a great year! Been lurking since your first review. Found you through AkaiHebi :). I’m always looking forward to your Kafka-esque reviews ;). But now that I read that you are going to Japan, I’m starting to hate you a little bit, with black spots distorting my sight….. I think it is a bit of envy that is rushing through my body. I live on the other side of this damn planet. And a trip to Nihon is just out of the question…. But have fun…. I’m not trying to guilt trip you or anything.

    Check these two stores up in Tokyo they seem good. https://www.ms-online.co.jp/page/stores.php they have a store in Akihabara, I think next to a maid café so…. next is Hotpowers that I think you probably heard of since they make their own onaholes http://www.hotpowers.jp/ue-menu/tennposyoukai.html they have a nice guide on how to get there. Have fun in Japan! Looking forward to your reports from your trip. Now I’m going to hit the bed and stare into the walls for a while and cry in frustration over not being able to go there myself lol…

    — Za Kyu-Aa

    • Thank you very much! =’) That Hot Powers visual guide is super handy, haha. I’ll be sure to check ’em out! I hope you can get to visit Japan one day. <3

  6. To think how far you’ve traveled, from when I first heard of you from back when you posted videos of those fantastic Phoenix Games to where you are now. still having lots of fun and spreading cheer through your great and funny reviews.
    Have a safe trip, hope this year is better than the last for you!

  7. mhhh places to eat. I’d supose if you can spare around 200 bucks go to a tepanyaki place called missono and order the kobebeef. btw for all the people that think they had kobe beef befor kobe beef is seemingly illegal to export so I’m not really sure what you ate but it was most likely not kobe beef. For ramen there is a chain called ippudo that ones cheap and really good. have fun in Japan. Always fun to read your reviews xD

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