– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links
“Huh, yeah, that’s kinda hot. I guess I could probably get off to tha-aaaauoh it’s happening!”
Inject enough porn into your eyeballs and you’re bound to discover all sorts of shit you never knew you could masturbate to. Hentai in particular is a fun learning device, offering a range of fetishes which aren’t even possible in the real world. Renamon with eight tits and a ten-foot long cock shooting egg-laying tentacles out of her vagina? Phwoar, no time for lube.
Either way, this is just about plain ‘ol armpits. Not sure what spurred it on for me initially – probably best not think about these things too much. But anyway, I dig armpits. A lot. They’re the fucking best jesus chri-
So a while back I decided to see what the sex toy industry had to offer. Not much.
NOT MUCH OTHER THAN STINK.
Of course Japan’s got your back with this. Turns out there’s a niche market for ‘smell fetish’ (Olfactophilia if you want to get technical) goods which cover just about anything.
While they’re mainly designed to enhance the use of sex dolls, there’s nothing stopping you from spraying them on onaholes, clothing, directly into a fan, or at insects to instantly vaporize ’em. Personally I’ve just been using my free arm. It’ll probably fall off eventually.
It seems like Tamatoys is behind roughly 96.2% of the products here – even releasing multiple attempts at capturing whatever scent they’re going for – but Rends, Tiara (?) and G-Project have all tried their hand at it.
Aside from fairly safe themes like generic perfume and undies, you can find all sorts of ultra specific smells lurking within these little bottles. There’s a few I wouldn’t have even possibly imagined having a distinctive aroma in the first place. Like ‘Big breast librarian assistant’ or ‘School girl culture club virgin’. According to Kanojo’s description, the latter captures “the sweet wet morning mist fragrance of these untouchable ladies”. Ooooooh! So damp grass, basically.
Then of course you’ve got family favourites like piss, shit and even menstrual blood. Wow. Mix those three together and you’ve got yourself the ultimate nostril-illusion of being on a late night train.
They dyed that last one red and everything.
Wait, is that what’s-her-name from Konami’s LovePlus? Gargamel? You know, the one who was always too busy eating the Smurfs whenever you tried to ask her out.
Anyway, here we go. I’m… gooooooonnaaaaa attempt to compare manufactured smells.
Over the months I’ve ended up with four different armpit/sweat bottles out of continued curiosity. Honestly, I wasn’t intending on ever writing about these (because I didn’t really know how to go about it), but a drought of blog content calls for desperate measures.
Tamatoys – Real Scent of Girl: Student Armpit. It’s um, by far the most accurate. Or at least when I’m studying fine works of art on Pixiv for hands-on purposes, this is what jumps out as the closest thing to Smell-o-Vision. Yep, this is an armpit alright. A sweaty one – bit sweet, mostly sour. I like this one a lot.
What am I doing with my life.
It’s easily the best of the lot right off the bat, so of course it’s now sadly discontinued. Shame.
The bottle is also designed to carefully release one or two drops at a time, which is nice, because that’s all you need unless you want the place stinkin’ up forever.
This is pretty much armpit/10. Hopefully they bring it back onto the market one day.
Tamatoys – Sports Club. This was Tamatoys’ attempt at capturing a ‘sweaty girl from the sports club’. Alright, that’ll do the trick I suppos- IT’S SOAP. This thing straight up just smells like soap. Who sweats soap? What kind of club is this?
Total waste of money. Could use the spray to cover up farts or whatever though, I suppose.
Rends – Sweat Scent of Virgin. I thiiiiiink Rends loosely based this on Training With Hinako which was a short-lived exercise anime thingy a few years back. This one’s… pretty much soap, again. Has a bit of a sour edge to it though, and the liquid is grey-ish, so that’s something. Eh. Ended up going in the bin.
Still, this product’s incredibly popular on J-List* (191 people have dared to Facebook ‘like’ the listing), so maybe it’s just me.
Tamatoys – Scent of School Girl Body. Tamatoys is on a freakin’ rampage. I can’t even explain the smell here. Almost sweet? Sweet… soap. Absolutely no idea what they were going for exactly; my brain can’t process it combined with the box art.
The bottle is also really dodgy. The actual spray part keeps getting jammed inside the lid, so I’m left just rubbing the bloody tube around. Dunk and wipe! Tends to either drip off right away or not catch anything at all. Fun times. This one’s also been discontinued.
Oh well. Rest in pit.
YEP. There are certainly more goods out there that target the underarm region (some of them aren’t even by Tamatoys!), but I think I’m good for now. But if I ever do decide to risk money on another bottle of mystery (smell fetish stuff is not cheap in the slightest), I’d probably pick one of the completely bizarre varieties just to see what smell they tried to make.
Tamatoys presents: ‘Robot girl breakdancing down sidewalk while thinking about how cool a jetpack upgrade would be also she has big laser boobs and attends the woodworking club at school covered in mustard sometimes maybe’
*Smells like soap*