Premium Tenga and Ona Pit – Capsule hotel reviews

capsule_headerProducts: Premium Tenga / Ona Pit (Dot)
Manufacturer: Tenga / Toy’s Heart
Artwork:
しなぷう

So at the time of writing – February whatever 20XX – I’m currently on holiday in Japan. The first three nights were spent in a capsule hotel, which was… quite a thing. Business (?) men rocking up at midnight blasting farts so hard the roller door started flapping, others snoring in such a way that it sounded like they were inhaling their own face every few seconds, and barely enough room to do anything. Anything except maybe have a bit of a toss. Perfect to try out some disposable onaholes!

Heading on over to Akihabara, I visited a few sex store joints (this’ll be an article for another day), and browsed their extensive range of single-use holes. Unsurprisingly, the majority are just foam cups with your choice of badly drawn 2D or badly ‘shopped 3D girls on the wrapping. But they went from a mere 100 yen all the way up to 1,500 yen. I’m assuming the cheapest ones are just made of recycled material from the higher end cups.

Then there’s the Tenga section, which is like, THE choice brand for most retailers in Akihabara. Fuck, you can find them in game shops and stuff. I picked up a copy of Puyo Puyo Tetris surrounded by Tenga Eggs. Game’s not quite that exciting.

capsule01Turns out this year is Tenga’s 10th anniversary, and they’ve just brought out a new ‘Premium Tenga‘ cup to celebrate. Sure, why not. At 850 yen it wasn’t exactly cheap for something that was going to awkwardly end up in the capsule hotel’s garbage bin after one go, but whatever.

Here’s what the uh, capsule looked like anyway. There’s a distinct lack of Waluigi or Russell Grant due to suitcases having to be stored in the main lobby (protected from theft by a single sheet of cardboard, pretty high tech) and it was just too much of a pain to bring much shit up.

capsule06

capsule08The TV had five channels with exactly nothing on anything of them. Shame, because I’d heard some capsule hotels had porn channels set up. OH WELL.

capsule02And the Premium Tenga next to the much more interesting can of STRONG vodka that was the equivalent of $1.50 jesus christ japan how is everyone not just drunk 24/7 here.

Despite the fancy feast name, this is basically… just a normal Tenga cup. Perhaps the interior design had been designed by the same scientists who recommend Fruit Loops as a healthy part of every complete breakfast, but the rest is pretty standard stuff.

capsule04Stick ‘ya finger on top to increase the suction, blah blah blah (this doesn’t do much).

capsule05It’s not even blue!

capsule07Once you’ve ripped the cover off and taken the bottom plug out (because your dick’s going to replace it) you’ll be greeted by a fairly decent amount of lube already smeared around the entrance. How DELUXE. This makes sliding in super easy for maximum convenience of masturbating on the move.

But despite having not used an onahole for about three days beforehand – which is an absolute eternity – yeeeeaaah, Premium Tenga’s nothing special. Honestly I’ve never really given a shit about Tenga cups or eggs before, so I can’t say if it’s some radically different feeling to their other disposable products, but there wasn’t much intensity. Bit of rubbing, gets a tad tighter in the middle. It works at least.

Then again after three days a gust of wind probably would have done the trick.

capsule10The next day I went with the Ona Pit. Much more reasonable at 440 yen, but I was actually hoping to grab a slightly different product – the ones where you put your dick in the bag itself (because that sounds like it’d be a disaster) but nope, accidently got this one instead.

These are stretchy little sleeves that come in different textures. Dot, Wavy and… I’ve forgotten the other one. Excellent.

capsule12I got ‘Dot’ because it had the most interesting character on the cover and it was pink. *shrugs* Rip it open and there’s your ona… sleeve and a packet of lube. Realistically if you took enough care with this, it could be used again and again, but for 440 yen you might as well go all out and have a fit whilst jerking off.

capsule13I’m glad I grabbed this one though, because that’s what it’s like on the inside and man. Maaaan. So basic, but so good. Definitely the capsule hotel winner of the two. Especially if you’ve got people lettin’ Beyblades rip all over the fuckin’ place to mask the not-s0-subtle noise of havin’ a budget rubber wank.

I’d still like to try one of the bag-types but eh, from here on out I’m in proper hotel rooms. With actual beds. It just wouldn’t be the same.

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4 Responses to Premium Tenga and Ona Pit – Capsule hotel reviews

  1. Anonymous says:

    I see you have used the purple Bonds I suggested. ;)

  2. anonanonanon says:

    I PROMISE I’m not trying to be a pervert here, but is there a way you can “categorize” your size in a comfortable way? I mean, the experience of one person who’s “average” might be COMPLETELY different from someone who’s “huge”. I just want to see if we’re getting reviews from the monster dong of Oz or just your average bloke. NOTE; according to the world health organization: average is 12-16cm in length, and 3.9-4.7com in girth.

    • Infernal Monkey says:

      Haha, don’t worry! I’ve been meaning to add my measurements to the blog for ages now in an ‘about’ section or something. Basically, nothing too special. Length’s about 16.5cm, and giiirth I’m not too sure at the moment? I’d say that’s about average too.

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