Pure – Maybe not anymore

pure_headerProduct: Pure
Manufacturer: Toy’s Heart
Measurements: length – 15.2cm, width – 7cm, weight – 310g
Retailers: J-List* / NLS
Artwork: M.vv

– This product was provided by Toy’s Heart for masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Oh right, it’s that day! True love. Where you squish a block of chocolate and some roses into your special onahole and take it to the cinema to make a mess during the quiet scenes. Just toss it in a bucket of popcorn and punch a hole through the bottom; nobody will suspect a thing. “I sure do love popped cornage” you proclaim, pants and underwear tossed halfway down the aisle. Happy fuckin’ valentine’s day!

Toy’s Heart sent me this hole to review pretty much just before I headed off on holiday, so I figured ‘hey, why not take it with me?’ By the time I’m done here the majority of the clothing space in my suitcase will no doubt be replaced with onahole purchases, but sure, it’d be handy to bring one along anyway.

This is Pure.

pure01Pretty basic stuff inside – onahole and a single-use packet of lube. It’s interesting to note that the company is listed as ‘Toy Value’ on the box though. Sounds like a knock-off product you’d find next to some Harry Potter Ninja Turtles at the dollar store.

The cover art was done by ‘IFNIL’ who won the chance to have his work adorn the box of an onahole. Pretty neat.

pure02Pretty wet. PRETTY PURE.

pure03And so, into the suitcase it went. However, due to the first few days spent in a capsule hotel, I couldn’t really bust this out to use. It might have been a tad awkward washing it in a shared bathroom with groggy old men stumbling around the joint, hence the disposable reviews.

But after Tokyo it was off to Sapporo. Or perhaps more importantly, a proper hotel room. I’m travelling with friends, and while everyone’s cool with the whole masturbation blogging thing, it um, it’s not something I can just be like WHOA GUYS, GONNA GO TRY THIS OUT IN THE BATHROOM BRB LOL. Nah. I just waited until I had the room to myself for a while and then later told everyone I did it anyway. There’s a world of difference!

pure04Here we are in Sapporo. Known for its suitcases on beds.

pure05pure06There’s like, boats and snow and stuff. We-ow! I wasn’t sure what I was going for here, but my phone’s camera has a mental breakdown trying to take pictures if there isn’t some form of natural lighting going on, so yeah. Window.

Pure’s external design matches its simple name. Here’s a rubber tube, there’s a slit. The end. It feels decent enough and there’s some nice weight to it, but this really is a no-nonsense looking onahole.

pureinsideOnce you actually spread that rather large looking opening, you’ll find the actual hole is much smaller inside. Just like a real pure anime girl. On our romantic Valentine’s Day date at WcDonald’s.

pureinside2But sliding in is super easy; there isn’t much resistance to the rubber or overall tightness initially. Pure slams shut pretty quick with a heap of padding to rub against your head, but I found that I was just… pushing on through hakuna matata style.

The onahole’s main interior design is focused on ‘waves and dots’. I’d say the bumps (dots) are basically a non-event, but Toy’s Heart did some cool stuff with the ribs (waves?) At around the halfway point it’ll suddenly switch to some thick vertical lines which feel really good catching the underside of your head or just generally smooshin’ along the shaft. Especially if they manage to stretch out and end up wrapping your dick, like fucking some scaled down bag railing on the train.

Or a Facehugger.


And that’s basically the highlight of Pure. Even hitting the end, there isn’t any vacuum effect or anything. Honestly, it’s a fairly unremarkable onahole. There’s certainly nothing bad about it, but so many more interesting options exist for your penis to explore.

Also, the first time I used it, I had some onahole lube samples ready to go thanks to the ‘M’s Pop Life Department Store’ in Akihabara handing them out with any purchase (I made a few). Three types: Light, Hard and Extreme.

What the hell could be so EXTREME GNARLY RAD about onahole lube, I wondered, as I started ripping the packet open and getting it everywhere.

pure07A lot, I think. It felt like there was fucking sand in it which was… interesting! But aside from completely invalidating first impressions of the onahole, I’m fairly certain it kind of ruined the exterior. Because man, Purebecame a gross, sticky blob shortly after. The sort of thing you could clean an entire jacket factory of cat hair with. Where cats are hiding inside the pockets, coughing up hairballs like a majestic angry fountain.

I’ve used enough Toy’s Heart products at this point to know their material wouldn’t degrade into Gak after just one wash, so it has to be the ‘Extreme’ lube at work here. Either way, that’s almost impressive!

As for cleaning these things, man. Japan’s got it easy.

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