As the onahole industry continues to mature into something that’ll one day be narrated by David Attenborough’s penis on the BBC, I think we’re starting to see a much greater focus on having actual quality box art. Quality tits.
This is especially true for the low-end budget stuff from companies like Tamatoys’ and Ride Japan – products which could easily become an impulse purchase in the right state of mind.
I like to imagine drunk Japanese businessmen stumble into fine sex toy establishments late on a Friday night; the combination of yakitori and sake coursing through their veins. “Sure could go for a slightly more fancy wank than usual in the Club Sega bathroom across the road” they explain to the cashier. “But I’ve only got seven hundred yen…” Then they see it. Tamatoys’ latest release, beautifully presented with no shots of what the onahole even looks like. “I’ll take it!” Their body is later found slumped over a toilet due to a dangerous amount of grilled meat and alcohol inside their heart.
Anyway, even among all the parody onaholes that’ll put enough spin on a popular character or franchise to avoid visiting Monopoly jail, you can be sure the cover art is going to be at least half decent. At least! So it was a bit of a surprise the other day when I found the box to N.P.G.’s Hidachitukko Plus DX (reviewed last November) under my bed and took another good look before chucking it in the bin.
The sudden change in her sweater always threw me for a loop here, but there was something reeeeaaaal familiar about this image on the back of the box. So I pretty much masturbated. But in the name of research, you see. Flicking through ten billion unsorted images, it wasn’t long until I came across the image I… came across?
Searching under the all-important ‘ladle’ tag on Danbooru, turns out the artist is Haruhisky. This was drawn well before Hidachitukko Plus DX launched. Wow! Plagiarism in the professional world of rubber masturbation toys is quite frankly shocking.
Where’d the ladle go? I can’t fap to this.
Going through Haruhisky’s work, it turns out N.P.G. also ripped his art off for the other side to Hidachitukko Plus DX – although they certainly put a touch more effort into this one.
Haruhisky is a big fan of Haruhi Suzumiya, who would have known.
Oh! Hello Rotate 90° Counter-Clockwise-chan. Original art do not steal.
And that’s the story of how I turned non-news into a big clusterfuck of words which upon skimming down the page, kind of might look like something. But they’re not! I am going to use this as an application for a job at Kotaku, it’ll be pretty cool.
(Sorry for the lack of content this month!)