Smooth & Flat Girl’s Laboratory – Scientifically inaccurate

flatlab_headerProduct: Smooth & Flat Girl’s Laboratory
Manufacturer: Outvision
Measurements: length – 11.5cm, weight – 250g
Retailers:  NLS / otonaJPKanojo Toys*
Artwork: みり

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Oh man, what kind of name is Smooth & Flat Girl’s Laboratory? Are they saying the onahole was designed in a laboratory, or is the onahole itself an actual laboratory where a smooth and flat girl works? Surely the latter would be a bit of a spruce moose situation. This toy can barely fit a dick, let alone an entire person. I guess that’s probably why they’re so smooth and flat then. Welp, okay – mystery’s solved! Hop in.

Developed by Outvision, Smooth & Flat Girl’s Laboratory has been on the market since 2011, so it must be doing something right. This is also the final onahole from my wobbly stack of things I picked up in Japan a few months back (purchased on the second last day because it was light enough to just squeeze under the baggage limit). Not sure why I left it untouched for so long, but hey.

flatlab01That artwork is pretty cute – enough so that Outvision felt the need to print it on a box much larger than necessary. They’ve even had to sticky tape the onahole in place so it doesn’t flop around in there. Think of how many rolls of tape they’ve gone through over the last four years. Maybe several.

First up the onahole is double wrapped (which I now take as a warning sign) and oh boy is it fucking oily. Just look at this bag within the bag for maximum bag-related bag.

flatlab02Gettin’ some Turok: Dinosaur Hunter flashbacks here.

I’ve never seen anything this extreme before, it’s actually impressive. Also I was able to tap the onahole against the cardboard insert and get instant butt prints. Smooth & Flat Girl’s Laboratory is already boasting secret innovative features.

flatlab03Turns out this is a short term issue though, as the onahole washes up just fine. Even its matching ‘race track’ smell fades quickly. I’d really suggest running it under some warm water before using it the first time. So after all that, let’s get to the toy. Alright. Well. Measuring in at just over 11cm (with less space inside), it’s kinda small. Kinda really small.

But whoa, definitely smooth and flat.

flatlab04And perhaps even out of focus.

The material is decent enough, and there’s a surprising amount of padding given the tiny overall size. Really, it’s the sort of humble onahole which immediately seems like it’ll keep on goin’ with little worries. And so far, yeah! As long as you don’t drive your dick right through the top, I guess.

Which might be difficult anyway, due to the inner tunnel coming to a rather sudden end thanks to its hairline peak.


So uh, getting inside requires a touch of brute force. More often than not I’d find my penis squishing the entire toy until its entrance gave way. Now realistically, Smooth & Flat Girl’s Laboratory is built to accommodate about three inches before aggressively pushing back. That’s not much, so all hope rests in its ability to keep the head stimulated. Thankfully, this is where the onahole shines.

A smartly crafted chunk ‘o rubbery goodness rubs up against the underside of your glans basically right off the bat. As you push in further, this bit latches into the groove while a series of jagged bumps punch away at the rest of the head. Bloody nice. This design works remarkably well, and it’s fun pulling the toy riiiight up (as it tends to stick due to the tightness) and tease the very tip.

But you can’t really do much else with Smooth & Flat Girl’s Laboratory. It’s just not big enough. What’s there is great, and I’ve found myself coming back to this toy more often than I initially expected. Being so hassle-free probably helps; cleaning is an absolute breeze. Really can’t imagine using it as my primary fuck hole though.

Also I’m not sure if this was supposed to happen!


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