Masturbation Warrior Tengaman saves the (hand job) day

tengaman_headerBit late here, but fuck it. So earlier this week, the literal wankers over at Tenga introduced a mascot character for their completely legit and totally-not-at-all-made-up ‘hand job day’ on July 21st. There’s a pretty good chance the world came together in celebration without even knowing it.

Going by the name Tengaman and sporting an outfit in the iconic red ‘n white striped style of a Tenga masturbation cup, it’s his mission to “save the world with sexual pleasure”. And by that he basically just goes around giving guys emergency onaholes. My hero.

Tenga typically don’t half-arse these promotional things, and Tengaman’s been no exception. Teaming up with ViRATES, they’ve produced a 17-minute live action feature. It’s been designed to feel like the current episode of a non-existent series, with a brief moment to explain the character’s back story.

tengaman01Uh, basically the dude died in an Earthquake while in the middle of masturbating, but was revived by the Goddess of Pleasure as a ‘masturbation warrior’. Because sure why not. Just like Alpha 5’s role in Power Rangers.

Tengaman’s up against the evil enemy ‘Jerking’ and his ‘Boner Skull’ goons, who cause men to become hikikomori (social shut-ins) that spend all day masturbating with their hand. This is bad, because… using an onahole Tenga™ feels better, you see!

Anyway I’m padding for the sake of padding at this point. It’s a really fun watch, complete with English subtitles.

The official website even feels the need to ensure everyone Tengaman’s mother (who shows up for all of five seconds) “actually has big boobs”. You can really feel the love and care they put into this. I hope Tenga do more with Tengaman; it’s too wonderfully dumb to leave as a one-off thing.

Or maybe until a rival onahole company like Tamatoys make a Tengaman parody toy and the universe collapses in on itself.



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