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Huh! Obviously not satisfied with typical blowjob-style holes simply looking like a mouth (at best), the team behind this product went all out and designed an entire bloody head to go around it. Finally, an onahole which targets the lucrative decapitated mannequin sex market.
But hey, yeah. Here’s the rather pricey Magic Face from PxPxP. It’s quite seriously a whole little rubber head! Amazing. And I guess if your wish revolves entirely around cumming into it, that might just be granted.
Anything else is purely by chance.
Can’t fault them on the presentation, that’s for sure. The box is incredibly colourful, and those tits are the real magic here. How are they forming perfectly around fabric like that? Maybe some sleight of hand trickery will reveal all.
There are some neat bonuses included too. ‘Bonuses’ as in they’re all part of the overall price, but it makes me feel better about spending like eighty billion dollars. You know?
A really decent amount of lube! Unfortunately it’s not actually orange; the bottle is just playing tricks. Also this stuff is thick. Like, way too thick. It’s the sort which slowly oozes out in one gigantic glob no matter what. First time I used this on the onahole I just wanted a small drop. Nope, wasn’t happening. I ended up with regret.
PxPxP have a thing with basing their products on hentai games, and Magic Face is no exception. It’s bundled with the full version of Kiss x 800 ~Kiss de Gakuen Houkai? Houkago Hen~ for PC. The onahole is designed after that girl in the middle. No wonder she’s looking sad – there’s a massive hole in her chest.
More on the game later, let’s take a look at the most penis-friendly part of this package.
Whoooooooaaaa that um, sure is some kind of face alright! It probably would have been weirder if they had attempted eyeballs, so good job leaving them off. Really though, this is some impressive stuff. Lots of finer details on the hair especially.
The material feels absolutely fantastic. Very solid build quality – hard and tough, but with enough elasticity to stretch and bounce around the room after proclaiming “heads up”. Life of the party for sure.
Plus being a big chunk ‘o face, this onahole is heavy. It weighs in at just over 1.3 kg (about 3 pounds), but it’s okay, there’s a handy flat base for maximum lack-of-lifting laziness. Just stand up and fuck that face, man. Pelvic thrust it into the future. Standing up is tiring though. My feet hurt. I want to go home.
Plonk it down on a desk and there you go! Except well, Magic Face is just a taaaad unbalanced. All that weight is at the front of the noggin, so the moment you let you let go…
Oof. The onahole just falls flat on its face every time. “You gotta mention that in your review!” My housemate said, and yeah – this is a pretty odd problem with the structure. I mean, it’s clearly been designed for use on a flat surface, yet even something as simple as pouring in lube means you have to carefully rest Magic Face on its back, otherwise it’ll flop forward and spew everything back out.
And while you’re obviously free to use the onahole as a standard handheld masturbator whilst sitting down or whatever, holding it up can be quite awkward. There isn’t much to grab onto other than the neck (uh), or with your hand acting like a claw machine across its head. Not exactly comfortable.
There. That’s the lewd quota for the year met.
For something like the above, I found grasping the back of the head with one hand and holding the base of my shaft with the other most effective. Why am I creeping myself out re-reading that sentence jesus.
Anyway, even with all that unused space thanks to a lack of eyeballs, Magic Face has a ridiculously tiny mouth on it. And the actual hole is a square. Something something round pegs in square holes; you kinda have to be a bit forceful to get in there initially. Half the time I found my dick crushing the poor thing’s face until it popped on through the opening. From there it’s alright, the rubber stretches out easy enough.
Now it’s time to go down, down, doooown Magic Face’s throat. I hope you like bending!
Despite that opening giving way, you better believe it’ll seal shut around your shaft as soon as you’re in. This puts a lot of pressure on, which is nice. And visually you’ve now got this tiny little mouth clamped around, warping back and forth with each thrust. NEVER LETTING GO.
I imagine this is probably what it’d be like to accidentally stick your penis in a closing wormhole. How embarrassing for the space expedition.
Surprisingly there really isn’t much going on in there, texture-wise. PxPxP haven’t tried to jam a tongue, teeth or anything in there, just lots of bumps scattered around the joint. The first time I used Magic Face was with the lube it comes with, and boy did it feel shit. Or rather, it felt like nothing. Something like that.
I’d seriously recommend using a different, thinner type of lubricant here – otherwise you’ll just be gliding past everything in sleepy tourist mode.
However there’s a very noticeable increase in tightness once you begin your descent down the actual throat. This sudden spike has the added effect of creating some messy noises as the air desperately squeezes out. It’s nowhere near as loud as some other oral toys like Superb Fella 4 which sounded like seven Yoshis simultaneously ground pounding a bucket of jelly, but still. Just enough to add to the experience.
The further you get into Magic Face, the more it’ll start yanking on your dick, sort of catching it in the throat’s tightest point and fighting to let go. It makes pulling back out for repeated, longer strokes more difficult and I… really like this aspect of the onahole. You get stuck in there scraping up against the walls. Captures the whole brutal throat fucking fantasy, I guess?
And that’s the thing, you’ve really gotta play along with this and get in the right mood. Otherwise you’re just stuck with a clumsy onahole that offers fairly mild feedback. But if you’re all “fuck yeah I’m getting some anime head tonight” to everyone you pass by on the street, then you’re set. You’re set.
Oh yeah, the game! Magic Face comes with Kiss x 800 ~Kiss de Gakuen Houkai? Houkago Hen~ for PC. This might help, since the onahole is modeled on a character from it. Important LORE.
All in Japanese obviously, but it’s easy enough to figure out what’s happening. Sex. Sex is happening. At a pool, in the library, on the floor. Maybe all of those are the same location, but quick there’s no time to figure any of that out here comes more sex holy fuck.
Pretty basic, you’re quickly introduced to four characters, then pick who you want to bang from a menu. My favourite was the last option – which must have been ‘nobody’ – as this results in the main character going back home and sitting in his room for a while. The screen then fades to black and the credits start rolling.
Other than that, there are a few more dialogue choices to make here and there but the game is incredibly short. You can see everything through about fifteen minutes of trial and error.
Fitting in with the name, Kiss x 800 is heavily into lots of incredibly sloppy kissing and blowjobs. Aggressive slurping noises as if the characters are tearing each other’s fucking faces off keep looping during event scenes. Good background noise for masturbating to. In fear.
“Mister! Please help! My swimsuit is fused to my skin, call the ambulan-bluueerrrswefft sluuurp”
“Sorry I am not good with phones”
“I do not want anyone seeing this part of my hair today, can you please hide it on your penis”
“Hey what are you doing with my pants oh god I was just here to return a book”
It’s pretty hot in a ‘this is funny but I have a raging erection’ kind of way. The music is also fantastic because it’s pure evil and absolutely doesn’t fit the tone at all. Like you’re trying to wank to all these messy dribbling noises and some fucking screeching violins and dramatic rumbles of melancholic death drown it all out. Can’t even turn it off. Outstanding work to whoever was in charge of the soundtrack.
All the artwork can be found here.
Back to the onahole though, hmmm. Well, overall I have enjoyed using it, but it’s something I don’t see really using a whole lot. Magic Face is just too… inconvenient, I suppose.
Can’t exactly whip it out for a lazy wank, and cleaning up afterwards is an exercise in frustration. The mixture of lube and cum gets stuck right at the bottom with very little wiggle room to rinse out. Then again, running the onahole under warm water and squeezing it to squirt everything back out again (repeatedly) could provide endless hours/seconds of entertainment.
In fact there’s plenty of fun to be had with this onahole outside of masturbating with it!
I’ve had some intense hip-spasm sessions with Magic Face, don’t get me wrong. Just really had to be in the perfect mindset for it, and that’s probably the problem. I’ve also constantly battled with calling it ‘Magic Eye’ throughout this entire review. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to backspace. Help.
I could never see anything in those fucking books. :(