Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt – Lose your way

premiumbutt_header1Product: Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt
Manufacturer: Magic Eyes
Measurements: length – 18cm, weight – 2kg / 4.4 lbs
Retailers: Motsu Toys / Kanojo Toys* / NLS / otonaJP / Toy Demon* / Cool MST / Love Merci / Otona-Sekai
Artwork: Nuezou

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links
– This product also goes by ‘Premium Chastity’, but this name is so much better

Doesn’t matter what it is we’re dealing with – food, electronics, maybe even toilet paper – a good gimmick is pretty much all it takes to win me over. And by good, I mean stupid. It’s why I bought a Nintendo e-Reader to play everyone’s GOTY Urban Champion in card-swiping form, picked up multiple bags of KFC flavoured chips the other day instead of something actually edible, and it might explain all the reviews for cheap, janky onaholes.

Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt from Magic Eyes is neither of those things though. For starters it’s over a hundred fucking dollars. That’s right, fucking dollars. The most valuable currency of them all. It’s also a really enjoyable, quality product. Sorry, fucking product (for fucking). But the box it comes in? Wow, probably one of the strangest/best things yet.

I mean, Magic Eyes is certainly no stranger to obsessive detail with their packaging, but this might be the first time they’ve really focused on it for marketing purposes.

premiumbutt01Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt falls into the larger ‘hip’ category of onaholes, weighing in at a massive 2kg and plays up the idea that there’s a girl hiding in there. Her arse is poking out, possibly sucking in air as the only breathing hole. I dunno.

premiumbutt03Open up the packaging and yep…

premiumbutt05That sure is a bag of butt. The plastic was incredibly greasy, and it’d soaked through to the actual onahole which was gross as shit. Amazing first impression, 10/10 – would wash again. I also found it pretty funny that Magic Eyes had just included their standard single-use packet of lube, too. Would it have really killed them to include… maybe two packets? Or seven? Oh well.

premiumbutt06 premiumbutt07Yup, Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt has a completely flat base, opening up more options to use it.

premiumbutt08Like as the most extreme ergonomic mouse pad ever.

premiumbutt09Or going back to the packaging – flip the box over. See that handy onahole shaped outline?

premiumbutt10You can tear that right off.

premiumbutt02Oh, the side of the box with those exact instructions?

premiumbutt11Secrets revealed.

premiumbutt12Then simply put the plastic container back in the box facing up.

premiumbutt14And there you go! Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt is complete. Whew, too sexy.

Of course, I wouldn’t suggest really using the onahole like this. I tried. The cardboard construction isn’t um, quite as stable as one would hope for miscellaneous pelvic-thrusting related activities. That said, it shouldn’t be too difficult finding a comfy position here. That flat base makes holding it up really easy. You’ll definitely need two hands, but gripping onto both cheeks means Virginal Bloom can work as a standard onahole if you just want to sit down and toss.

Just put the computer’s photo viewer on slideshow mode or something.

premiumbutt_nlsVirginal Bloom features both holes to tackle, and Magic Eyes have even gone as far as to use different coloured rubber for their insides (red and pink, don’t worry). And while yeah – the onahole is rather expensive so you’d damn well expect some effort behind it – I’m still really impressed with the build quality and overall visual appeal.

I know it sounds silly, but clenching down on those arse cheeks just feels so damn good. Seeing them slam on your crotch is even better (unless you’re holding it upside down I guess). They’re firm, yet squishy enough to slap and jiggle around a bit. Better believe I sat there for like a good thirty seconds just whacking the rubber with a shit-eating grin on my face. I think my exact response was “ah hyurr hurr heuh”. Plus it’s good to know the onahole can absorb a lot of impact, especially if you’re pressing on it from above. Crawling around the room in stealth masturbation mode.

Plus even after multiple washes, the material has retained its goodness – no sticky messes here.

But what’s it like insiiiiiide? The image below would suggest some kind of dragon with a really long neck. I don’t know what penetrating a dragon feels like in real life – probably majestic as hell – but let’s start with the vagina. It’s clearly the main attraction of Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt.

premiumbutt_promoPushing past the soft jelly-like lips (I should write erotic novels for a living), Virginal Bloom teases the tip of your penis with some light texture before actually hitting the opening. And I mean hit. This starting point is a tightly compressed ring of hard rubber – it’s a fucking fantastic way to kick things off. Kinda pinches, which might seem weird, but this works wonders pushing along your shaft and catching under the head.

The tunnel itself is filled with mild bumps and random jagged notches. It curves up slightly after the halfway mark, only to suddenly zip back down again for the last part. This is because both holes are connected inside, so they just share the same finale. Pretty sure that’s how the human body works, gotta end up somewhere right? Anyway, as your dick shoves its way through like a 7am boxing day sale, this all results in some fairly hefty stimulation. That’s two kilos of rubber pounding down, so each and every time you thump into a tight curve is just amazing.

Basically, imagine fucking a mini golf course. That’s Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt.

premiumbutt_promo2The anal option however doesn’t even come close, which is a shame. It’s as if it was just a last second decision to include an actual asshole on a big ‘ol butt. Magic Eyes’ sorta angled it way, waaayy too close to the top lining. Perhaps unavoidable due to the limited room and all, but I worried about breaking through; the amount of rubber skirting above is paper-thin.

The anus is also loud. FUCKING LOUD. Like in a ‘how is this even happening’ kind of way. Farty-belching balloon animal jelly wrestling noises will fill the air, delighting the neighborhood. It’s not a total write-off mind you. There’s a softer sensation which could be a decent change of pace if you feel like swapping holes mid-session, but eh.

premiumbutt_art

Though as far as I’m concerned, it’s just a half-assed bonus, as the other hole more than makes up for it. So enjoyable. Manages to hold lube remarkably well, too. Only need to slap on a drop or two and the onahole somehow makes it last for ages without drying out. This is especially helpful for the eventual task of cleaning Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt, which… isn’t easy.

I mean, washing out a huge 2kg blob of rubber can’t compare to a simple handheld toy, but be prepared to sink some time into jamming your finger right up there under warm water over and over again to ensure nothing gets trapped. Especially your finger. And drying it out? Pfft, jesus. The first couple of times – before the rubber’s stretched out a tad – will admittedly be stupid tough. My only advice is to… do what you can, basically. Helpful! I was able to just barely get a microfiber cloth wedged in partly, and let the onahole air dry.

Totally worth it though. I’m really happy with Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt. Going into this, I was a bit worried the box would end up being the best part, but I’ve had way much more fun cumming into the onahole instead.

Cardboard gets too soggy after a while.

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14 Responses to Virginal Bloom Junketsu Premium Butt – Lose your way

  1. DargeD says:

    On a scale of 1 – 10 how nice is it to slap

  2. Blaze says:

    interesting design and kind of odd that they went with the cardboard box to hold it up.

    Also, two kilos of ass has to set some kind of new record.

  3. temptemp says:

    “He got it, omg he got it!!” is what I said over-excitedly when the e-mail came through. But then there is SO much stuff being made right now that I could be equally gushing about.
    Passionate about the subject of wanking into lumps of plastic. And proud of it.

  4. mojanbo says:

    I’m concerned about this woman’s ass to body ratio. Maybe she has something like ascites, but for her ass. Asscites. Hurr hurr medical joke

    Wait wait wait I got it. she’s mixed race with khoisan ancestors and has steatopygia. … i’m thinking too much about this fake ass arent i

    Kind of sad the asshole’s underwhelming. Damn that looks fun to slap though.

  5. XERW says:

    Dammit. I was giggling like a giddy schoolgirl on a trip (which I admitedly was – 4 years ago :P)

    Never in my life I’ve ever seen a blog THIS detailed in onahole… have you read the manga [MOLESTER MAN] ? he kinda reminds me of you with his giant “love hip” onahole XD

    This is so big, it might pass furniture if you tweak it somehow.

    • Infernal Monkey says:

      Hahaha, thanks! I hadn’t heard of Molester Man before, but I’m checking it out now and this is pure gold. Thanks for telling me about it! =’)

  6. Emalko says:

    What is the triad mafia doing inside a onahole

  7. JoeJoe says:

    Have you ever tried some of those tit onas for tit fucking? Be curious to see a review on Busty Ai-chan, G-mode, and the various character based ones of questionable quality.

  8. Moquin says:

    Can you post a scan of the box art (front and sides)? I find it really cool.

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