– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links
Yeah, nah. Wonder Ring: Poco Pen! definitely sounds like something involving stickers. Like some magical girl anime series where the characters have to vanquish various non-adhesive foes with just the power of glue sticks and friendship. Lord Teflon’s minions are then transformed into stickers for the girls to collect, and the entire marketing scheme is complete!
Imagine my surprise then, when I opened the box for Magic Eyes’ Wonder Ring: Poco Pen! and not a single sticker was to be found. Nothin’. A blank expression. Smile and optimism: gone. That’s okay though. All things considered, I guess the name still works. We’re dealing with some high-tech ‘Wa Ring!’ technology after all.
Wait, Wa Ring!?
Wonder Ring: Poco Pen! is a pretty beastly product which has been on the market for almost two years now. It’s an international shipping nightmare at 2.5kg, but that’s to be expected from any of the larger hip-style onaholes. Hip and stylin’.
This one’s got completely separate tunnels for the vagina and arse (unlike Magic Eyes’ more recent Virginal Bloom which connected both of them together at the end), but the main draw here is the use of ‘power rings’ to tighten the vaginal walls. In a less magical explanation, these are just some hard plastic hoops wrapped around the tunnel. They also used ’em on the aptly named Passionate Gimmick last year. Whew, two links to previous reviews in one paragraph. Might as well install a mirror on the ceiling. Then cover it in googly eyes.
Here, this jpeg might have been a good place to start.
And of course it wouldn’t be a Magic Eyes product without their single-use packet of sludge lube!
It’s like holding up a slasher movie prop. The victim was bludgeoned to death with their own torso.
Despite its weight this is a pretty comfortable onahole to grasp, and the whole stump design makes a whole lot of stumpy sense. You can even rest Wonder Ring upside down on a desk to pour lube in and it won’t topple over. Or approach it from above, aiming your dick whilst making heavy machinery noises. I don’t know, that’s probably a thing.
However there is a rather awkward issue with the plastic wrap leaving heavy wrinkles all over the onahole. I’ve read that you can smooth out these marks with a bit of time and effort (along with a heating pad), but who has the time or effort for that? They’re very, very noticeable. Especially on the butt cheeks.
Because nothing says sexy like some fuckin’ granny crack. In the right lighting (read; none) this isn’t too bad, but woah. Also sorry for the sudden increase in hairy leg photos lately, it’s shorts weather here. :(
Alright, well, let’s actually get into it then!
Starting with what I thought would be the more interesting hole, I plunged head first into the vagina. Expecting to be hit with crushing tightness from those power rings – or anything really – instead it was just sort of… yeah?
Like I was all the way in, hands firmly gripping both sides of the onahole as it bounced up and down, but there was nothing special going on. Just felt like I was gliding over whatever texture was supposed to be rubbing against my shaft. Honestly, first impressions were dull as. I pulled out after a few minutes and switched to the butt instead.
Pwoar, now this was more like it. Getting in there takes a touch more guidance (the hole is really small) but you’re rewarded with a dizzying amount of pressure all over. The material also seems slightly stickier in this hole which works a treat. Oddly, I could actually feel the power rings here to an extent. In the butt. Where they’re not even used. The tunnel runs directly below where they’re clamped on, creating three distinct notches.
So I finished up in Wonder Ring’s arse, only to notice my tightened hold on the onahole was stressing out the cheek wrinkles even more. What’s usually a brief moment of relaxing clarity – a sense of achievement in that ‘yes I ejaculated, good job me’ – quickly turned into a fascinating obsession with playing them like a bongo. Good times.
Fast forward to the next day, and I figured maybe I’d simply put too much lube in the vagina or something. So I cut back to basically a single, tiny drop – just enough to get in without potential carpet burn. Nope. NOT ENOUGH. It was like trying to penetrate a loaf of week old bread. Yanked my dick out (flecks of rubber along with it) applied more lube and got back in. And again… the hole wasn’t particularly exciting.
I guess basically, it comes across as too loose. Which is weird! The onahole’s size and weight makes for a decent enough overall feeling, but eeeeehhhh. That alone shouldn’t carry it. There wasn’t nearly enough stimulation for my liking. Might as well just wedge a handheld onahole into a suitcase instead.
But if you want anal, man… Wonder Ring’s pretty good there! Tends to form an insanely intense vacuum chamber up too, right to the point where it’ll even start pinching the meatus. Or ‘the opening part where your piss hole thingamajig is’. The penis is very technical.
This is pretty much the exact opposite of Virginal Bloom, except Virginal Bloom’s one good hole was still vastly better than Wonder Ring combined. Honestly, I’m probably not going to be the greatest help here, since these two products are the only experience I have with large masturbators so far.
Surely there are countless better options out there though. Or maybe even enough to be counted. That’s still better than two. And perhaps one day I’ll find that special blob or oversized rubber; the one I can proudly recommend for fucking both holes.
But really, why even stop at two holes. Go ahead and put ’em everywhere. Fuckable naval. Fuckable stumps. Oh! Speaking of which, Wonder Ring is pretty easy to wash out. I was a bit worried about this, but I’ve had no problems. It’s perfect for tossing in the sink and jamming a finger or seven in to clean. Seriously, very simple (and/or balanced). Drying the ass might be annoying considering how small the opening is, but I’ve brute-forced my way in with a microfiber cloth without any drama.
Also I was secretly hoping I’d finally be able to use my Japanese vending machine panties on this onahole. Seemed like it might be the right size? …
Not… not quite