Usagi Chan Bite Excellent Onahole – Workin’ up a sweat

usagi_headerProduct: Usagi Chan Bite Excellent Onahole
Manufacturer: Outvision
Measurements: length – 13cm, weight – 230g
Retailers: NLS / otonaJP / Kanojo Toys*
Header image: Akaza

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

“Alright, we’ve got seven positions open here at Cool Rabbit Park…”
“Yes sir”
“… the hoppiest place on Earth”
“Okay”
“The HOPPIEST”
“Yeah, I get it”
“Good. I had to delay the park’s opening by thirty four years thinking of that original slogan. Do not steal it”
“I won’t”
“Great. Now, can you tell me a bit about yourself?”
“Well, my name is Usagi Cha-”
“USAGI, what kind of name is that?!”
“It’s Japanese for rabbit I think, my parents were shit cunts”
“RABBIT?! … Usagi, you GOT THE JOB”
“Really? Wow thanks. Which one though? You said there were seven positions”
“YOU GOT ALL OF THEM, USAGI. YOU GOT THEM ALL. HERE ARE SEVEN RABBIT COSTUMES, SWITCH BETWEEN THEM EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES”
“Oh”

And the legend of Usagi Chan Bite Excellent Onahole was born. Likely sold alongside rabbit vibrators in the park’s gift shop.

So the team at Outvision have tackled a rather niche sweat fetish with this product – or maybe fur suits, it could probably go either way – but it’s obviously not something that’d translate over to the actual onahole itself. Not unless the CEO personally inspected each onahole by stuffing them under his arms for a full day.

But that’s kinda true for all of these things hey. And life itself. Still, sometimes you’re going to get drawn in purely by the cover, and boy, what a cover!

usagi01What a tiny rabbit head!

usagi02What a sweaty arse!

usagi03What a story!

Seriously though, it wasn’t just the box art. I mean, the name itself was also a very important deciding factor in this purchase. How could you possibly go wrong with an onahole that calls itself ‘excellent’? This would usually be the part where I’d make some lazy remark like “you can”, but nah. Nah! Usagi Chan Bite Excellent Onahole actually is quite an excellent product.

anexcellentonahole@BokuNoBeefDip made me do it (*´・v・)

usagi04Opening up the box, you’ll find the onahole itself (thank goodness), a sample packet of lube and a handy chunk of cardboard which held them both in place. I’m sure the cardboard might have a thousand other possibilities. But bloody hell…

usagi05… even the lube is excellent!

usagi06

usagi07Going by price alone, Usagi Chan Bite Excellent Onahole is one of Outvision’s cheaper products in a while (perhaps because they haven’t bundled in a ten-second-long visual novel this time), but the material they’ve used is interesting! Not enough to start a Geocities fansite about (one littered with under_construction.gif and rockin’ MIDIs) but almost.

This thing is really solid despite the smaller size, and ever so slightly sticky to the touch. Doesn’t attract dust or hair though. I can’t tell if Outvision did this on purpose in some crazy attempt to simulate a clammy feeling or if they just lucked out. Either way, it’s fitting.

At least the ‘bite’ part is fairly self-explanatory. It has nothing to do with rabbits. Probably.

usagi_insideYou might need to tease the entrance a bit (this is a nice way of saying smear the lube around with your dick), but once you’re in there’s an immediate, heavy scrap against the underside of the glans. This onahole seems to focus all its attention on that area, and for me personally it’s a glorious weak spot.

Combined with hard and fast stroking motions, Usagi Chan delivers a steady barrage of coarse stimulation under the head, and this is one toy that I couldn’t imagine wanking with any other way. Brannigan’s Law/Love in full effect. The tunnel design might not look like anything special, but those thick clusters of bumps are perfectly positioned. This is especially evident by simply twisting the onahole around. Suddenly, boring! That’ll have your mind wandering to more pressing tasks like laying on the floor while reminiscing about Pogs.

usagi_artI’m pretty happy with Usagi Chan Bite Excellent Onahole! If you’re looking for variety you’re not going to find it here; this is just a very basic budget hole for a quick ‘n sloppy toss. But it does a great job at it. The material is tough enough to stretch out and snap back without any signs of tearing (so far at least). Cleaning is also a breeze, don’t sweat it. Kinda dries out real quick too, returning to its odd sticky-but-not-really state.

Oh wait yeah! Speaking of which, Usagi Chan practically absorbs lube. Tends to vanish inside after a few minutes, leaving the interior sticking to your shaft like a Fusion Dance gone wrong. Just keep the lube bottle handy, or maybe go with the (lack of) flow and see what happens. Perhaps an orgasm.

Aside from that, Usagi Chan Bite Excellent Onahole is good stuff. I’ve tried about five onaholes from Outvision before, and right now this is the first one I’ve actually really liked. I know that doesn’t mean much, however it sure does pad a final paragraph!

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2 Responses to Usagi Chan Bite Excellent Onahole – Workin’ up a sweat

  1. For a second I thought the Chef Excellence joke was because the onahole soorrrta looks like a chef’s hat.

    Also opening monologue hints at Five Nights at Freddy’s DLC.

  2. bateer says:

    从百度点进来的,支持一下

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