This Plump Girl Has a Muchi Muchi Meiki – Alrighty then

plumpmeiki_header

Product: This Plump Girl Has a Muchi Muchi Meiki
Manufacturer: Tamatoys
Measurements: length – 15cm, weight – 570g
Retailers: otonaJP
Header image: Lionel Nakamura

Look, if Cave shooters have taught me anything, it’s that ‘muchi muchi’ basically means plump. ‘Meiki’ on the other hand is… a vagina of sorts (Cave didn’t teach me that one). So to sum up this onahole’s peculiar name – This Plump Girl Has a… Plump Vagina. Excellent. 10/10, Tamatoys.

Whatever though, I didn’t just want to know what a muchi muchi meiki felt like, I needed to. From the moment I saw the title and product shots, this was something I absolutely had to process dick-first.

plumpmeiki01Catgirl? Sure why not. Always a plus. Dunno if Tamatoys really got the whole uh, plump part (unless they meant those tits, because wow yeah). However I was NOT expecting the box itself to be so fucking huge.

plumpmeiki02I mean, when it’s bigger than your head there’s probably something weird goin’ on. Also when your t-shirt blends in with the walls, window blind, desk and bedspread. I’m fading away beige-style, send help.

plumpmeiki03Open the box up and you get this sweet cardbord tray which looks like it might have held half a hot dog in its past life.

plumpmeiki04Man, no sample junk packets here, Tamatoys throw in a full bottle of lube with This Plump Girl Has a Muchi Muchi Meiki. It’s obviously bulked up the asking price, but still cool to see. Also referring to this onahole by its full name every time might completely break the review, so from here on I’ll just call it Muchi Muchi.

plumpmeiki05Personally I adore Tamatoys’ lube. They put out about 600,000 different varieties of it – often perfumed as ‘smell of office lady legs’ or ‘smell of a school girl’s pencil case which fell down the drain’ – but it’s essentially all the same stuff. Has a perfectly balanced consistency to it which works in just about everything.

Now I feel like a wine critic. Probably… wouldn’t want to swirl this around in my mouth though. But onto the onahole!

plumpmeiki06 plumpmeiki07It’s like someone at Tamatoys saw an old corrugated steel water tank in a field one day and thought ‘I sure am parched, but also horny’. After receiving some emergency penis reattachment surgery in hospital later that afternoon, he called into work. “Boss, you’ll never guess what I just did – we need to turn it into an onahole!”

Muchi Muchi is a fairly thick toy, and kinda light and fluffy despite weighing in at 570g. Nothing to complain about with the build quality honestly. There’s a faint smell initially, but that washes off real quick.

I waaaas a tad concerned with the entry point, because shit that’s a comically small hole. No worries though, turns out it stretches just fine. Or rather, engulfs.

plumpmeikitunnelHere I was fully expecting Muchi Muchi’s giant flesh-blob notches to act as an aggressive gauntlet of good ‘ol fashioned dick punching. What I got was pretty much the exact opposite. Whatever that is. After sliding inside, the onahole puts up almost no resistance. So once you’re in, you’re in.

And if anything, seriously, this should have been marketed as an oral toy instead. My immediate impression was “oh, this is sorta like a half-hearted blowjob”. It’s a tad difficult to explain considering the internal design suggests anything but. Those bumps deliver a very mild effect, lightly brushing over the shaft or gently catching under the head.

There’s no sense of crushing tightness either, which means more open space for a stupidly powerful suction effect. Even the slowest motions eventually build up the same amount of pressure as frantically slamming a plunger into the can. It’s the quickest comparison I could think of. Sorry.

plumpmeikiboxThis Plump Girl Has a Muchi Muchi Meiki is… basically floppin’ your dick into someone’s wide open gob as they casually roll their tongue around, perhaps distracted by their phone. Very mild stimulation. It’s rather pleasant overall – don’t get me wrong – just something which works best as a slow-burn. Attempting to speed up the wanking process merely gets you a lot of sloppy noise.

Chuck on some chillout music and you’ve got yourself a relaxing night in.

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One Response to This Plump Girl Has a Muchi Muchi Meiki – Alrighty then

  1. John B says:

    It would also be good if parody onaholes were made of Cave shooter characters

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