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masturbation review purposes
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Haha, shit. Slush Master is such a good name. I had to Google this to make sure it wasn’t just some bizarre Aussie thing, but everyone’s familiar with slushies, right? If not – slurpees, shaved ice, whatever. The frozen goo drinks.
I’m gonna get a bit pointless here, but when I was a kid my parents used to run a little convenience store in a bumfuck country town. It eventually went bust, however literally one of the only things they kept was the bloody ‘Slush Puppie’ machine. It sat in the garage with enough syrupy shit left over to power things for months. Pretty sure people used to come over just because of it.
But whatever, the mere mention of ‘slush’ these days just reminds me of that Slush Puppie mascot dog licking its lips to a cup full of blood. I’ve never been more confused about maintaining an erection.
So Slush Master, huh! This product is from a company called Tobelca, who I’d never even heard of before. I believe they’re fairly new-ish to the industry (?), so it’s cool to see otonaJP willing to give them a chance with the import crowd at least.
We’ve already got a skull on the box and everything! Was that the master? Did ‘master’s mind’ get scooped out and placed into the onahole?
Gotta say, this is some high-class Royal Crown Cola packaging. The way the gold insert pulls out and everything, man. Fancy! (No seriously I was actually a bit impressed). It reminded me of the original Zelda on NES where you could see the golden cartridge through the box. Except this adventure is a touch more straight forwaaaa-
-aarrrrrr, it looks like something I should be loading into a gun!
How unique. I’ve never seen an onahole like Slush Master. Especially once you take a peek inside.
THIS IS SOMEWHAT INTIMIDATING.
The material itself is pretty firm, but geez, that opening is absolutely massive. It’s not often you can clearly see the insides of an onahole just from a brief glance. My first thought was Slush Master would end up being way too loose, even with the ocean floor texture going on.
Regular lighting doesn’t do this justice; this called for the art of ‘putting it in the bathroom sink for a few seconds’.
I wasn’t even sure where to apply the lube, so I dribbled a few drops in at random and hoped for the best. Pointing in the hole’s general direction sort of worked, but I’d maybe suggest just smearing some on the tip of your dick instead. This also works for most things in life. Can’t figure out the oven for that critical Sunday roast? Who cares, just lube up.
Anyway, I’m happy to be wrong about Slush Master. I mean yes – the actual opening still results in a delayed reaction – but fuck it feels so nice once you’re in. All those blobby little feelers tangle around the shaft and create a powerful suction effect. You can literally see the onahole decompress over your shaft. And maybe there’s something to that ammo clip curve after all, because everything just comes together here.
Slush Master delivers a completely satisfying level of stimulation all over, encouraging you to thrust in as deep as possible. This is about as middle-of-the-road as an onahole can get in the best possible way; just a really pleasant wank.
It’s very loud though. Almost hilariously so. Every complete jerking motion is met with a sloppy gasp of air getting shot out of the onahole. You can almost feel a breeze on your crotch. While it’s entirely possible to be careful and minimise the noise, you’ll lose out on the complete package. Best to be used when you’re sure nobody else could be listening in. Wrap it in tinfoil.
And if that fails, just tell them you were continuously breaking wind. It’ll be fine.