Daga Okasu – You are my candy girl

dagaokasu_headerProduct: Daga Okasu
Manufacturer: Chiku Work
Measurements: length – 12cm, weight – 245g
Retailers: J-List* / otonaJP / Otona-Sekai / My Onahole
Header image: Kure Masahiro

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

OooooOOOOOH SUGAR SUGAR. Don’t worry, I almost killed myself after writing that review header. But shit here we go, there’s already an onahole parody of Dagashi Kashi on the market. Impressive!

While it’s always best to set expectations low when ‘joke products’ happen before the first season of an anime has even finished airing, I’ve absolutely fallen in love with Dagashi Kashi. Something about the combination of its rural setting, entertaining Japanese candy trivia – which is really just 22 minutes of clever Zool style advertising – and a strong fanbase of artists who focus on the girl’s armpits. That’s all I need in life apparently.

So with that, I ordered Chiku Work’s Daga Okasu onahole as soon as I possibly could. Pretty much the closest thing to any form of merchandise so far, and it actively encourages sperm all over it unlike figures or whatever.

dagaokasu01nChiku Work are sort of new to the industry, too. ‘Sort of’ as in they’re like a spin-off label for Tamatoys (I think?) that started up earlier this year. One thing’s for sure, they know how to put together some eye-catching box art. Plus all those belts basically confirm a cameo in Kingdom Hearts III, so it’s good news all round today.

As expected, the cover focuses on Hotaru, but Saya (#bestgirl) isn’t entirely forgotten. Oh fuck I used a hashtag in a review. Now I have two suicides to look forward to.

dagaokasu02Upon opening the box you’re greeted by a URL that asks for the provided username and password. It contains the cover art in all its pixelated glory. I’ve blanked out the full address just as a formality, but you can click on the image below to access the original high-resolution jaaaay peg.

That’s probably just as bad, ssshh.

dagaokasuartI don’t even have a vagina but I’m wincing at the thought of a crusty tube of salt goin’ in there. Old man dicks, am I right.

Anyway whew, let’s take a look at Daga Okasu already.

dagaokasu03Wait no, hold up – that lube! Hang on. Chiku Work kinda went the extra mile here, as the little bottle of lube is actually scented… like candy. Or that was the idea at least.

Upon taking a whiff and potentially inhaling it directly into my brain, I um. I dunno. It’s not an overpowering sweet smell like you might expect; instead it’s like a light hint of sherbet crossed with sweat? In fact, it’s pretty reminiscent of Tamatoys’ discontinued bottle of body odor. Sure, that works. Could be an accurate dagashi store experience for all I know.

Doesn’t really matter when you’re actually using it though – the scent is too weak once it leaves the bottle.

dagaokasu05 dagaokasu06Oh. Yeah, I pretty much expected something like this. Daga Okasu gives off a really poor first impression. The onahole REEKS of melted death (I absolutely recommend washing it right away – the oily smell thankfully washes down the drain almost instantly), and that ragged cave entrance isn’t too inviting.

Seriously, that photo above was taken fresh out of the box, yet it looks like someone had already been spelunking the fuck out of it at the factory.

However the material itself feels nice and maintains a solid texture after washing. No descent into sticky or slimy hell here. We’re already a step above some parody holes.

dagaokasu_promo dagaokasu_promo2As soon as you slide in, Daga Okasu strikes with a thick strand of rubber running down the length of its tunnel. This delivers a fairly subtle (yet constant) level of stimulation as it catches along the underside of your head. Or, you know, you can spin the onahole around to have it digging in across wherever suits you best. KEEP TURNING to simulate sex in a washing machine.

Roughly around the halfway mark another chunk presses in from above to increase the onahole’s tightness. It’s alright. Combined with ribbed walls which get chunkier the further you go, Daga Okasu comes across as a fairly average, safe design.

Nothing particularly fancy, but there’s enough stimulation to keep you going no matter what speed you’re tuggin’ at. That’s the main thing.

lemonade1 lemonade2 lemonade3 lemonade4But again, this is a cheapy made parody toy. It’s better than expected (as far as these things go), but I can’t guarantee any long-lasting durability here. My one’s already torn slightly after a few uses. Daga Okasu is also on the smaller side of things, taking just about four and a half inches before stretching out.

It’ll handle that fine, but shit might just implode at random one day, who knows.

Still, if you’re a big fan of Dagashi Kashi to the point where putting sugar in your morning coffee now gives you an erection, then sure. Daga Okasu’s decent novelty value for your dick. Having a themed onahole of something you’re really into can also do wonders. Source: orgasms.

Otherwise yeah, you won’t miss much by skipping this one.

4 thoughts on “Daga Okasu – You are my candy girl

  1. Those things shoved in her gob and vag are “Umaibō” which are indicative of Japan’s commonly bizarre business practices. I actually wanted to talk about this from being introduced to them only last week so what a fortuitous opportunity! This time it’s the Japanese phenomenon of being very kind to their customers and not wishing to expand much even though their products are quite top notch, quite famous and they really could be getting quite teh monays without too much bother or backlash. Oh, so like onahole manufacturers then? Yes.
    The snack costs 10 yen. That’s 6 and a half proud British pence or 12 Australian convict-colony cents. Nothing sold here costs 6 and a half pence any more for children’s eating or otherwise. Even penny sweets cost at least two pennies now and you would never get anything except them for less than 10p when I was a lad. As the bizarre reading of Wikipedia explains, “because profit margin is so slim [you’re telling me!], its price can change without notice”. How weird is that for confectionery? You’re extremely kind to sweet-toothed kids but you confuse them as to why little Johnny’s pocket money didn’t go as far this week. These things, as you might expect from Japan, are packaged in full colour plastic and they’re not tiny either (even if puffed corn does have a lot of air) so that margin must be stretched as much as the poor girls legs are spread-eagle. I mean why bother pushing your accountants to the limits too when you could just charge, oh I don’t know, 50 yen or something and have it at that for the next ten years? Then you might have some actual money to sell these things overseas or whatever. Sure, you’ve set yourself up for a fall now should they suddenly decide to do this but it’s 2016; every kid in the developed world is spoiled to the hilt nowadays. What’s a few extra pence out of that whopping allowance? I dunno, NIPPON NIPPON NIPPON I say.

    As for that girl. Whenever I see a pic like that I always get this compulsion to go kiss her better. I know, I’m a fucking dirty perv ain’t I.

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