Alice in First Stage – Falling down the onahole

alicefirst_header2Product: Alice in First Stage
Manufacturer: AliceStage
Measurements: length – 14cm, weight – 230g
Retailers: otonaJP
Header image: .SIN

– This product was provided by otonaJP for masturbation review purposes

No matter how rough your day has been, just know that any frown can be reverse frowned its way upside-frown-down with one piece of essential information. There’s a company out there called AliceStage who have been making nothing but Alice in Wonderland themed sex toys for years.

Years. And for products designed to have various bodily fluids smeared all over them, AliceStage seem pretty serious about keeping everything about as classy as possible.

I mean shit, just check out their Alice body pillow.

daki_001_aThat’s what the Queen of England would sleep with right there. Then of course we’ve got the onaholes. Today we’ll be checking out Alice in First Stage, which as the name kinda alludes to (?), is designed as a ‘beginner’ product.

By that I think they mean the whole package, which includes a big bottle of lube and storage bag.

alicefirst01… Or maybe because if you were to import this as your first onahole, nobody would be able to tell from the perfectly innocent box art that you’re pumping loads of cum into the contents within.

“Rabbit your pocket watch is so fucking sexy, urrmmmff”


alicefirst03The air-permeable (ie; won’t make your dick fall off) storage bag is certainly a nice inclusion, even if it does make me think there’ll be some trail mix hidden in the bottom every time.

But that 145ml bottle of lube… man.

alicelubeThis is some damn fine quality goo. I really wasn’t expecting anything from it, but the texture and sheer lastability inside an onahole is outstanding. The bottle also has a narrow opening which makes it easy to squirt out a drop or two exactly where you want. In between the keys on your keyboard? Perfect.

Yeah, seriously impressed here. You can buy the lube by itself, however the asking price is preeeetty rich compared to literally every other option.

alicefirst05How about that onahole, huh. Alice in First Stage is very… tube-like. It feels nice, and there was only a minor oily smell which vanished fairly quick.

The basic design isn’t going to win any awards for being ‘best in show’ at a bake sale, but does it do the same job any good cake would? The job of successfully stimulating a penis? Yes.

alicefirst06Pushing into that generic stretchy hole, Alice in First Stage does fine work of immediately trying to reject your presence. The walls shove back against your head with everything they’ve got, encouraging you to just keep stroking harder and deeper.

Obviously there’s no masturbation rule against keeping things slow, but it’s amusing how quickly this onahole can ramp up the pace. “Am I irrationally angry about fucking this lump of rubber or is it just pleasure” you’ll ask yourself.

Suddenly Tim Burton’s face appears in a puff of smoke, smiling from ear to ear. Your grip tightens to a dangerous level.

alicefirst_insideIt feels good. The biggest draw is how tight the walls are, but there’s a decent all-round level of feedback. Nothing particularly fantastic or aggressive, although I’m fairly certain mine had a design fault near the entrance causing a scaly spike thing to deeply scrape into my shaft.

Like, I really… I REALLY don’t think that’s supposed to be there? I don’t even know what the fuck it was, a burnt chunk of rubber? So out-of-place.

Whatever it was, it’s either worn down or been absorbed into my skin now. Shame.

alicecoverartOther than that, Alice in First Stage is built to take a lot of punishment. The material looks cheap, but it’ll stretch and deform to extreme lengths. Shit dries out with ease too. In that sense it probably really would make a great first time onahole as the level of maintenance is so low.

But for the relatively high price, you’re paying for the (admittedly fantastic) lube and presentation more than the actual onahole.

Still probably more entertaining than a ticket to Alice Through the Looking Glass though. ow_the_edge.jpg

8 thoughts on “Alice in First Stage – Falling down the onahole

  1. Wow, this was surprising. I noticed these Alice toys a while back, but I thought the quality would be on par with parody toys.

    On a side note, it’s really impressive to see an adult toy line just entirely based on Alice in Wonderland. I wonder how many different types of adult toys they can come up with before running out of ideas on what to do with Alice in Wonderland lol

    It’s just so weird to think about.

  2. WT(actual)F Nippon? This is the second article of which your products have bothered me. Maybe I just shouldn’t be so uptight… But no! And ENTIRE company for Alice… adult products?! No! Stop it! I don’t care how well presented it looks. Your artist can’t do perspective very well anyway! Gah!
    And the other thing? The volleyball girl. I can understand the concept of different girls interested in different pastimes in a dating sim. You’re exploring the fictional person in a relationship(s, naughty!) and it might relate to the girl you have your eye on over the textbooks on your desk but an onahole? It’s just reducing all that concept of an individual, with a passion or interest, a talent, substance. To a hole. A sex object, if I have to sound like a feminist. The whole point girls in porn are usually presented as all body and no brain is simply because we’re going to be reducing them to just sex. This is just destroying the idea of a person. And Japan seems to relish in doing this. Perhaps I’ve got this all wrong but it’s not like all the girls in the band’s cunts are shaped like the trombone and the volleyball girls’ like… something else. Is it?!

  3. I Wanna know where to get that dakimakura, doesnt look like they have any stock, I would buy one in a heartbeat, unfortunately they dont ship outside of jp

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