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masturbation review purposes
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While the onahole market still has a long way to go in terms of covering every conceivable kink (personally I’m waiting for an armpit onahole or one that looks like the gin still from M*A*S*H) the overall lack of blowjob stuff kinda surprises me.
I mean, putting your dick in a mouth isn’t exactly witchcraft fetish material – unless it’s your own.
Essentially there just isn’t much out there, and most products which do make it to retail are obsessed with basing the experience on face-fucking a gummy bear that’s been out in the sun too long. Then again that might be someone’s thing, so I can’t be too harsh.
It kinda feels like most companies couldn’t be stuffed trying to compete with Magic Eyes’ Mouth of Truth ages ago, and while I fucking love that onahole, its hard plastic teeth absolutely aren’t for everyone. So I was delighted to see A-One recently jump back into the oral-skills game with Superb Fella 5.
It’s been almost three years since the last Superb Fella. ‘Fella’ being short for fellatio of course, and ‘Superb’ for Superbomberman.
Surely they’ve got all sorts of silicon chips and shit in there now.
Oh no, maybe it’s ‘Ultimate Fellatio5’? I do like that they let you see exactly what you’re getting (part of) yourself into before opening the box though. Nice touch.
The cover art is great too, or at least what little they didn’t cover up with a text adventure. But that text? Better believe it’s gold foil, baby. Superb Fella 5 could double as a cardboard suit. To your own wedding. With Superb Fella 5. It’s that fancy.
So immediately the big draw here is a set of really soft, pink lips. This is a dual layer hole where A-One have simply extended the fluffy inner material around the entrance, and it’s a cool idea. The lips stretch and react in a way that gives the Superb Fella 5 more of a uh, authentic mouth-like… look?
Unfortunately the stuff they’ve used on the outside feels tacky in comparison. The whole onahole has this hard glossy shine and really just isn’t particularly enjoyable to hold.
Imagine gripping onto one of those dog chew toys which look suspiciously like an onahole but aren’t. This almost has the same weird plastic-y feel to it.
Zooming inside, Superb Fella 5 makes use of two rings embedded between the layers for extra tightness (something Superb Fella 4‘s floppy gob lacked) and seems to have a nice variety of textures goin’ on. Seems.
This is what happens when you try to eat cock rings.
Dribbling some lube around the entrance, it was hopefully time for some superb fellatio. And wow, it really is satisfying watching those lips gently kiss your head, only to be awkwardly rammed open and pushed backwards into its own mouth. They’re still trying to hang on while your shaft vanishes inside, occasionally morphing back and out each thrust. Erotic.
There’s a tongue in here but man is it small. Most of time I basically don’t get any sensation, just a slight bump along the way if anything. Bit disappointing.
Luckily the first ring is right behind it, adding some interesting possibilities. Sometimes I’d glide over, other times my dick got snagged on the bottom before being violently flung forward. Cool.
Maybe I’m lacking the girth, but I would have liked these rings to be a tad smaller. It’s like I’m merely getting a glimpse of what they’re trying to achieve with the whole deepthroat aspect, but you seriously need a Dragonball Z neck in terms of cock thickness. Oh well.
Aside from that, Superb Fella 5 is sadly unremarkable. Other than staring down at the lips as they encase your shaft – which is pretty rad – nothing helps fuel the illusion of a blowjob here. This hole could be anything (but not the M*A*S*H still), and whatever it is simply lacks in both stimulation and suction.
The generous amount of ‘saliva’ lube A-One include can help somewhat, as this shit is pretty majestic. Thin and runny, it’ll begin frothing up in no time.
If you’ve ever wanted your dick sucked by someone who has rabies, then boy!
Still, bubbly spit-like goo dribblin’ all over your balls can only go so far. Superb Fella 5 has a more pressing fault. Those lips begin to look rather horrifying.
After just the third use I noticed a few specs of pink were washing down the drain. “Oh”. The onahole was already falling apart, and it’s just kept getting worse since. Apparently that soft inner material just goes straight to hell.
The lips are also trying to slowly escape?
How sad. I was really hoping A-One would knock this one out of the park considering how long it’s been since their last Superb Fella. But nah. I can’t get into this onahole at all; does nothing for me. It’s not just the poor build quality, the onahole lacks… anything.
I’d say at least it has the lips, but even those are vanishing.
+ Visually, the soft lips are a nice addition
+ Comes with a great bottle of lube
+ You can yell “checkpoint” every time you slide through a ring
– Physically, the soft lips crumble to pieces which quickly affects the first positive
– Bland stimulation
– Lack of suction
– This fella is in fact not superb at all