– This product was provided by Motsu Toys for
masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links
For a blog about trying to describe what fucking blobs of textured rubber feels like, it’s probably a bit surprising that I’ve barely touched anything by Tenga before. Or maybe it isn’t, and I’ve merely lead you on a pointlessly bloated eyeball-draining quest in the struggle for some opening review paragraph.
I mean… there was the Hot Tenga review – plus that time I bought one of their disposable products to wank in a capsule hotel (even non-sex lives need spicing up), but yeah. Just never really bothered.
And Tenga’s made like a shitload of stuff over the years, including their ongoing ‘Flip’ series of premium cum-catching contraptions. Which finally brings us tooooooooo:
This Ikea-ass lookin’ space lamp right here is the newly-released Tenga Flip Zero. Huge thanks again to Motsu Toys for providing this to review, because I’m not kidding about the whole premium thing. Tenga Flip Zero carries one hell of a hefty price tag.
Still, if Tenga’s technobabble-fueled trailer is anything to go by, we’re off to a promising start. “128 gigaflops of triple chain gate blast processing!”
Basically this is supposed to represent everything Tenga’s figured out about dicks in holes with one big 10th anniversary extravaganza.
So let’s start at the very first step – removing the instruction manual.
Because yes! Tenga Flip Zero really does need a manual. It’s in full English, with a link provided for other languages.
They also toss in two tiny sample packets of lube which is fairly stingy to be honest. Especially since the manual ‘recommends’ buying more Tenga themed lube for best results. (It’s just standard water-based lube, you can use whatever).
For packaging reasons though, I can see why they didn’t include more. Tenga Flip Zero ships exactly as it is in a hard plastic shell, cutting down on extra bulk.
I’ll crush this process down best I can because words. Also because I can’t take photos for shit, especially not with a white/clear onahole against a white desk!
First off you remove the ‘Slide Arm’ from the uh, side… arm. This easily pulls off so you can open the onahole up, hence the whole ‘flip’ part.
Now you can lube up the entire internal design. Tenga suggests doing so, although personally I’ve found that you really only need to apply some to the entrance. All depends on how sloppy you want things. This goes all the way up to ‘oily mud pit covered with banana peels’ levels of slip n’ slide.
Chuck some in there the first time at least.
Then simply close the onahole back up, slot the Slide Arm into place and put your dick in the entrance.
It’s a lot easier to set up than it probably sounds (especially with an 11-page manual), and I really like that you can use the stand to keep Tenga Flip Zero upright before and after use. Less chance of mess dribblin’ out.
Once inside, Tenga Flip Zero allows some form of masturbation customization so your penis can really feel like it belongs in this brave new world. Both the front and back are fitted with ‘Pressure Pads’ which control how much suction is going on. I found the effect pretty minimal, but it’s still fun to fuck around with.
If anything, there’s something oddly satisfying about forcing all the air out in one big burst as the onahole makes a disgruntled wheezing noise. Like sitting on a wizard. That’s my fetish.
But what does Tenga Flip Zero feel like, then? Well! Let’s take a look at the structure.
Mmmm, yes. I still can’t get over how much all these sound like city landmarks. ‘Come visit the famous Ripple Dome!’
The inner material is very soft and stretchy, kind of like Tenga’s flattened together a bunch of those wall-crawler toys (except nowhere near as sticky). When both sides are pressing against your penis however, weeow. They’ve really put some thought into the textures here.
Initially both the ‘Ridge Wall’ and ‘Ripple Dome’ provide a heavy dose of stimulation to the head, especially rubbing against the underside which is lovely. Next you’ll hit a cluster of bumps that are fairly large and spaced apart. These provide minor feedback, but work nicely with the first part now taking care of your shaft.
Towards the end of Tenga Flip Zero, you’ll meet the ‘Layered End Orb’. It’s pretty much a thick rubber pocket designed to gently massage your head (and prevent you from painfully smashing into the plastic casing if you’re hung like an Alola Exeggutor).
All up, Tenga Flip Zero provides a somewhat relaxed level of feedback. Nothing rough or overly tight, just all-round stimulation that manages to keep things exciting even during longer wank sessions.
Like I mentioned before though, there is some level of control – from merely deciding how much lube you want – to experimenting with the Pressure Pads. Releasing pressure or building up a stronger vacuum effect is simple. Hell, you can even grip both sides tightly to make your own narrow choke points.
… Which is all pretty much the same stuff you can do with any onahole. Tenga Flip Zero just makes the process much easier.
Speaking of which, holy fuck cleaning this onahole is an absolute breeze. Just open it back up again, run it under water and let it dry by using the ‘Slide Arm’ as a stand.
That’s it. Might take a few seconds to fiddle around with balancing, but man. So refreshingly hassle-free.
After an hour or two the onahole will be dry enough to put back in the protective case. Tenga Flip Zero looks weird enough like this that you could probably leave it drying anywhere. If anyone asks, it’s just a fancy new bluetooth speaker.
Honestly, Tenga Flip Zero isn’t exactly shaking up the onahole world as far as actual dick-pleasing innovation goes, but I feel like the final result is exactly what Tenga set out to achieve. No fuss wanking wrapped up in a sleek design.
The internal structure is pleasant, the build design is rock solid, and the cleaning process is about as user-friendly as an onahole is ever going to get.
Well, until we get onaholes with built-in water tanks that flush themselves out, shooting steam everywhere whilst loudly beeping and giving constant status updates in Microsoft Sam’s soothing robotic voice.
Tenga Flip Zero
+ Steady, soft stimulation where you can adjust the amount of pressure
+ The easiest onahole to clean so far
+ It should last you a very long time
+ Steve Jobs would have been proud
– If you’re looking for something hard and rough, you’re not going to find it here
– Pressure Pads are a tad limited
– The asking tag is definitely inflated by Tenga’s brand name