Insert Game! – Now loading

insertgame_headerProduct: Insert Game!
Manufacturer:
 Chiku Work
Measurements: length – 14.5cm, weight – 370g
Retailers: otonaJP / Kanojo Toys* / Otona-Sekai
Header image: Awa

– This product was provided by otonaJP for masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

The president of Chiku Work slams a sloppy onahole against the desk as if it were a gavel, instantly calming a chaotic boardroom. “Alright, here’s the deal. We’ve got three days to make a new product. What recent anime could we quickly base something on?”

New Game!” someone yells amongst all the cries for Garfield and Friends.

“Okay! New Game! What’s it about and does it have a sexy female character?”

“The show follows a development team makin’ a video game and it has a variety of best girls, yeah”.

Pleased with this suggestion, the president slumps back in his chair. “Video games you say… that’ll do!” Meanwhile Jim Davis storms out of the room, frustrated that his Garfield onahole idea was shot down once again.

Later that day, Chiku Work’s cleverly titled parody toy Insert Game! hits retail shelves.

insertgameboxSporting some absolutely fucking adorable art of the series’ newest recruit Aoba Suzukaze, it’d be too naive to assume we’d just be getting a standard vagina onahole here. This is Chiku Work after all. The same team that included candy scented lube with their Dagashi Kashi hole and released a harmonica thing textured with bloody musical symbols for Love Live!, so nope.

Insert Game! is a PlayStation Portable.

insertgame_promoAnd that’s fucking stupid. I love it.

Maaaaybe I kinda lost the original unboxing photos for Insert Game!, but it comes with a small bottle of lube (good for a few uses), and a download code for PC wallpaper. It’s basically the exact same image on the box, but here you go.

insertgame1While Insert Game! sorta looks a bit like a PSP, thankfully it doesn’t feel like one (especially on the inside). The material is surprisingly decent with no hint of stickiness after multiple washes.

insertgame2That’s a weird place for a headphone jack.

Being more of a chunky rectangle design was a tad strange at first –  just one chapter in the ‘why would anyone want to jerk into a rubber PSP’ journey – but you can get a really solid grip on it. There’s also a heap of padding surrounding the actual tunnel which is nice.

So once you’re all turned on, it’s time to do some sideloading. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

insertgameinside1 insertgameinside2How delightfully terrifying. Extreme close-ups aside, Insert Game! goes with a basic ribbed spiral design for its internal texture. Really nothin’ too fancy here.

There’s something immensely satisfying about each tangled strand being spread apart as your dick slides in deeper, especially once you get a rhythm going and the walls tangle around your shaft only to be forced open again and again.

newgamescreenUltimately though, I found the end result somewhat lacking here. The sensation is enjoyable at first, but I dunno – maybe the ribs need to be thicker or something? Chuck some lumps in there even. Anything. It gets old fast; a dull and repetitive tease which never goes any further.

Twice there I even struggled to maintain an erection despite futile attempts to counter it by holding the right arrow key down harder than I’ve ever tried to process an entire folder of hentai in my life.

The good news is Insert Game! seems amazingly sturdy. There’s some great flexibility to it while keeping the brick-like form factor.

insertgame3That and if you’re a handheld fan it’ll blend right in with your other shit. Friends and family wouldn’t even question it.

“What are ya doin’ there?”
“Being a hardcore gamer” you’d reply, wiggling your eyebrows almost as viciously as your hips.
“Can I play too?”
“No you fucking cannot it is a single player game”

But nah, much like Chiku Work’s Daga OkasuI can’t think of any reason to seriously recommend Insert Game! unless you’re a massive fan of the anime it’s based on. Or in this case, the PSP.

The onahole isn’t bad or anything, it’s just… bland. Top marks for the concept at least.

Insert Game!

+ Cutest box art of the year
+ Good durability
+ It looks like a PSP

– Boring internal design, not enough there to keep things exciting
– Tough to dry after washing
– It looks like a PSP

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6 Responses to Insert Game! – Now loading

  1. J says:

    This review is hilarious. I found your blog recently and your reviews are a really perfect, entertaining mix of comedy and super useful info! Also it’s good to see a fellow Sydney-er reppin’ it in the lucrative onahole-review scene. Keep up the great work!

    • Infernal Monkey says:

      Thanks for the kind words! =)

      Man, I’ve come across a few Sydney folks stumbling upon the blog! Australia’s lewdest state confirmed.

  2. chrisp says:

    Man, it really kills me that every waifu based onahole ends up being cheap and/or shitty. Then a quality loli moeblob comes along with the perfect design for a tight virgin onahole and they make A PSP ONAHOLE. I’m all for innovation but this is borderline false advertising. Thanks for the review, I look forward to the Naive Sister impressions. Might pick something up during the CoolMST sale if I can find anything tight and stimulating enough.

    • Infernal Monkey says:

      Unfortunately it all comes down to parody holes having a really short lifespan at retail. When the next season of anime begins, they discontinue everything and start the process again. So there’s no reason for them to put in any actual effort. Wouldn’t surprise me if they’ve already killed off this onahole.

      But yeah, a bloody PSP of all things for New Game… >_>

      (Oh yeah, if you want something tight and stimulating, there’s always the trusty ol’ La Bocca Della Verita!)

      • chrisp says:

        My bad, forgot to mention I own (in order from favorite to least favorite) Sujiman Kupa Lolinco, Tight Virgin, Daisuki Hold, La Bocca Della Verita, and R-20 Puni based off your reviews and some other sources. The only thing I dislike about La Bocca Della Verita is how loud it can get without a closed opening to the point where I can even hear it with headphones on.

  3. Babble Dabble says:

    lol what the hell, they could have at least made it a PS3 controller. There wasn’t anything to do with a PSP in the anime

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