Hey mates, sorry! This is probably the least ideal way to kick off any sign of life on this blog in 2024, but I’ve recently had an extremely bad experience with some novelty armpit scented lube of all things.
News and features
TEN YEARS?!
In a somewhat gloriously tragic moment back in December 2013, I shot a load inside a cheapo Monster Hunter parody onahole and thought it’d be funny to write a stupid joke review of it for an audience of maybe like five people on Facebook.
25% off storewide at Onahole.com and MotsuToys
Black Friday sales have officially kicked off in the mysterious rubber cum hole world this year, with Europe’s MotsuToys and their American branch Onahole.com both offering 25% off storewide with the coupon code ‘BF2023‘.
Get a free onahole from MotsuToys (EU) or Onahole.com (US)!
What could possibly be better than a free onahole? Eight hundred billion dollars? Something scanning up cheaper than the price sticker at the supermarket whilst the self-checkout machine confusingly gives you head? Yes, exactly! We’ve sure solved that mystery.
Thanks, Sweden!
This article’s absolutely just me stroking my own dick in the egotistical sense rather than the uh, orgo… testicle sense? But fuck it – I just got voted for best English-language sex toy reviews by Swedish publication Passionerad, and that’s the kind of sentence you only ever get to type maybe once in a lifetime! Twice if you accidentally copy and paste it.
20% off storewide at KanojoToys (with bonus Tenga chocolates)
KanojoToys have kicked off their Valentine’s Day sale with 20% off everything in stock, just use the promo code ‘Love‘ during checkout.
Black Friday 2022 sales roundup
I can’t believe we’re already back at the period of time which abolishes a standard week in favour of Black Friday consuming multiple days and then goes straight into Cyber Monday. The upcoming weekend is just GONE, sorry. Time flies when you’re lookin’ at a calendar and it’s covered in cum I suppose.
Demon Slayer competition winner + full gallery of entries
Admittedly I was a little bit worried since it’s been SO LONG since the last ‘design an onahole lol’ competition and the timespan to submit entries was a bit shorter than usual this time, but holy crap you guys are amazing. Thanks to everyone who entered!