Onahole retailer otonaJP relaunches with bonus offer

otonajprelaunch_headerLooking at the sheer amount of stock they have listed, it’s almost hard to believe Japanese import retailer otonaJP have only been around since September last year. Like, I’m fairly certain the world is a slightly better place knowing there’s an online store willing to take a gamble on selling something like a bloody tit pillow.

Read moreOnahole retailer otonaJP relaunches with bonus offer

Happy masturbation month! Win a PPP Happy Box!

ppphappybox_headerDid you know May is unofficially the official masturbation month? Seriously. We all know it’s really every month, but those fat cats on Wall Street apparently nailed it down to May. And shit, that’s alright.

Read moreHappy masturbation month! Win a PPP Happy Box!

Dagashi competition winner!

dagashicompwinner_headerHeader image: Ekakibito

In the very loosest of loose competition tie-in ideas spawned from the Dagashi Kashi onahole review, I… I ended up eating a few of the things purchased for this prize and having to replace them. So it’s really about time I announce a winner. Please get these snacks out of my room.

The question? Which candy product would you masturbate with and why? Only the dumbest best for competition questions around here, I tell ya.

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Japan Adult Expo 2015 – Virtual reality bananas

japanexpo2015_headerAfter an incredibly successful debut last year, Japan Adult Expo (JAE) was forced to find a bigger venue for 2015. One which could easily accommodate that dangerously high level of saliva and pre-cum staining every possible surface within.

So this year the event took place at ‘Toyosu Pit’ in East Tokyo – which only just opened up last October I believe – and until now had been home to moaning purely of the singing variety. Concerts, you know? Ugh, shit. Opening paragraphs are tough.

Read moreJapan Adult Expo 2015 – Virtual reality bananas

Win an onahole manga and some dodgy eroge games!

toysheartmangacomp_headerA few months back Toy’s Heart put together a promotional manga for the Los Angeles Anime Expo, and it was kind of a big deal. Kind of sort of as far as onahole-related stuff goes, anyway. I mean, this thing was commissioned exclusively for an American anime convention and distributed at the J-List booth. Guys! Fuck, I dunno. It just still kind of blows my mind.

Even more so that Toy’s Heart asked if they could link to some of my reviews in it. Holy shit, are you kidding? You havin’ a giggle? I’d never felt more worthwhile than a sex toy company actually wanting to feature my long-winded word jumbles which essentially amount to ‘yeah this thing is alright to cum into’. Completely serious.

Anyway, being on the other side of the world and everything, I was pretty keen to get my hands on a copy of the finished manga. So a few weeks later Toy’s Heart kindly sent one over, and by one I mean like twenty billion.

Read moreWin an onahole manga and some dodgy eroge games!

Here comes a new challenger – otonaJP opens up

otonajp_headerArtwork: kuroshin

First up, it’s only fair to let you know otonaJP is now a monetary sponsor of the blog (hence the large sidebar banner – gotta pay for bags of googly eyes somehow!) But this is supposed to be more of a “hey look at this” news-type thing. Because hey – look at this! 

Read moreHere comes a new challenger – otonaJP opens up

La Bocca Della Verita competition winner ahoy

mouthoftruthcompgalleryHoooo-leeeey crap, I seriously wasn’t expecting such a huge response to this! Like maybe five entries or something, but no – there was even more than six! But yeah, if you missed it (because the blog moves at such a blinding snail’s pace and everything) there was a competition to win a brand new La Bocca Della Verita onahole and a little bag of goodies. I kinda… worded it weirdly in the initial write-up I think, because a few people asked me if the onahole was used. °ヘ°

The idea was to come up with an onahole design, and jesus you guys delivered. I laughed, I cried, I came. Incredible stuff. Huge thanks to everyone who entered! Kinda sad now I don’t really have any runner-up prizes or anything, but I’ll be better prepared next time. Probably a handful of Moisty lube bottles and foam cups, who knows.

Images have been automatically resized, click ’em to show full resolution.

Read moreLa Bocca Della Verita competition winner ahoy

Competition time! Win a La Bocca Della Verita onahole

Let’s do a thing where you can maybe win another thing! Man, I’ve wanted to hold some sort of competition on here for ages, but very valid reasons which totally aren’t just because I’m cheap and lazy have prevented that until now. Honest.

But yeah, no special occasion here. It’s just I decided to order a new La Bocca Della Verita onahole to replace my old one – because it was pretty much worn the fuck out at this point – and figured ‘why not get two?’ So I did. Wow, what a magical story. Sony have already agreed to a movie adaptation – Adam Sandler will play every role.

Anyway, look at this hot corner-of-the-desk photo action.

Read moreCompetition time! Win a La Bocca Della Verita onahole