Whoa, guys – onaholes for your down under in down under. If you’ve been following this blog for a while now, you might have seen me comment on how depressing the Japanese sex toy scene has been in Australia. If not, well now you’ve just witnessed one such remark! And while all the major international retailers obviously ship here, postage is a killer. Even NLS jacked their Australian shipping costs up something shocking a few months back.
Bit late here, but fuck it. So earlier this week, the literal wankers over at Tenga introduced a mascot character for their completely legit and totally-not-at-all-made-up ‘hand job day’ on July 21st. There’s a pretty good chance the world came together in celebration without even knowing it.
Despite living on the other side of the world where our anime-themed conventions usually consist of bootleg Goku figures, at least seven paintball companies handing out flyers and maybe a bunch of people trying to sketch fanart of said bootleg Goku figures playing paintball, the annual Anime Expo in Los Angeles is always pretty bloody exciting to follow. Lots of localisation announcements and stuff, you know?
As the onahole industry continues to mature into something that’ll one day be narrated by David Attenborough’s penis on the BBC, I think we’re starting to see a much greater focus on having actual quality box art. Quality tits.
This is kind of incredibly late considering it’s been two months since stumbling around the streets of Japan on holiday, but I was going through my photos recently and there he was. Obama-kun. With his world famous catchphrase and everything. Turns out that was exactly the inspiration I needed to not get off my arse and write about all these tourist attractions.
Hopping off at various stations dotted around Tokyo, it felt like I kept seeing the same jerk hanging off a clock. He’d almost always be close by, showing total disregard for the fine craftsmanship of precision timing.
So how about them gashapon machines, huh? Stumbling into a random Japanese department store and seeing huge clusters of them lined up – or sometimes entire shops that exist purely to trap small children in their maze-like structure of capsule toy dispensing death traps – still gets a ‘man, what’ reaction from me.
I guess this’ll be a bit of DEAR DIARY, but holy crap guys, thanks so much for all your support this year! The blog kinda unexpectedly took off, like an onahole momentarily left hands-free due to keyboard related multitasking. Except not nearly as sticky.
It’s been a big year for sticky-finger conventions in Japan, with not one, not seven, but two adult expos making their debut in 2014. ‘Pink Tokyo‘ kicked things off in February with its promise to “invigorate adults and energize Japan” by conveniently cramming every basement-level shopping experience under one roof. Now just last weekend (November 14-15) the ‘Japan Adult Expo’ opened its doors for the first time. Probably some cheap joke to be had there.
From a vending machine-crazed country historically famous for putting creamed corn right next to very similar looking cans of lemon drink to create the ultimate flavour gamble, being able to buy an onahole from one really isn’t that surprising.