Please feel free to contact me if you’ve got any questions or just need some general onahole advice. Everything will remain confidential, so don’t be worried if you think something might be too weird or embarrassing.

Business inquiries (especially review products) are more than welcome too!

I’m also on Twitter (@infernal_monkey) and DMs are open.

Thanks everyone,
Lance (Infernal Monkey)

PS: My PayPal is the same email address, hint hint :’)

8 Responses to Contact

  1. Anonymous says:


  2. CoolMST says:


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    • Arachnid says:

      CoolMST is actually pretty damn awesome. They have great prices and free shipping over $70. If you live in California (as I do) these guys are the ones to go with. I bought my first onahole from them and plan on getting many more too!

  3. Neil says:

    Hi guys!

    We’re an Australian adult product distributor and have been in the game for 5 years. We’ve recently done a deal with Merci from Japan to import many of their products and make them affordable and readily available to our local consumers.

    Can we pay to be a featured banner on your sidebar please?

    I was hoping you’d be kind enough to mention us to your Australian readers?

    We also ship internationally!

    Our site is

    Hope to hear from you soon!



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  5. Z Man says:

    Hey did not want to bog your inbox down so I just wanted to leave this here and bog this down XD. Just wanted to say thanks for having this awesome and hilarious blog. I used to read onaholereview but got sick of the condescending uppity way they review….no scratch that….OPINIONATE productsm well that and most of their GOOD opinions sound too scripted and paid for. Your reviews are hilarious and have your opinions but at least even on crap products you still give a detailed bit on the whole product no matter what, while onahole review just nitpicks and give good reviews by fetish bias.(yes I know they advertise on your blog but frankly my dear I dont give a damn XD) You have got to be the only onahole reviewer I have read and actually enjoy reading. (okay I will stop ass kissing now)

    • Infernal Monkey says:

      Hey, thanks (z)man! I really appreciate it.

      When I first started doing this, I wanted it to be as different as humanly possible to any other sex toy review blog. So it’s… kind of mutated into a jumbled mess of off-topic paragraphs and stories mixed with a few actual helpful sentences about each onahole. I’m glad people enjoy it though, haha. I love trying to think of ways to make each review entertaining to read.

      Also yeah, personally I try and keep fetish bias stuff to a minimum. I know everyone has their preferences, but the onahole’s theme doesn’t matter at all if the product itself is shit. =p

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