Campus Life: Athlete Type – Here’s an all-comers event

Product: Campus Life: Athlete Type
Manufacturer: Toy’s Heart
Measurements: length – 16.5cm, weight – 286g
Retailers: otonaJP / NLS / Toy Demon* / J-List* / Motsu Toys / Love Merci
Artwork: Mikeou

– This product was provided by Toy’s Heart for masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Ah, a new themed series of onaholes! I love this sort of stuff. Campus Life is a pretty recent launch from Toy’s Heart, and so far there are two to choose from. Athlete Type and Tidy Type.

“Good luck at college, girls. Here’s a dictionary – it’s the same one your mother and I used to randomly pick your names!”

But as luck would go, it turns out Athlete loves to play tennis (or maybe she just carries around a racquet as a social experiment), while Tidy enjoys… praying to her own big sweaty tits? Sure, close enough. Maybe she just doesn’t make much of a mess about it.

That’s just going by the artwork, which is really nice. They got Saida Kazuaki to draw the character art; he also did the cover for Daisyuki Hold aaaand basically I hope Toy’s Heart keep getting him on board. Dunno, his art just does it for me. Important information.

Anyway, I’ve got both of these Campus Life onaholes to review – they’re completely different inside – and originally planned to do them together. Not literally, but like, both reviews in the one… review. With wordsmanship like that though, I figured it’d probably be best to just focus on one at a time. So first up, let’s take a look at Campus Life: Athlete Type. 

From a quick glance at the structure, this one seems to be the more ‘aggressive’ of the two. I’m now eagerly anticipating Tidy grinding things into a fine mist or something. Well, not really.

Maybe.

 I think she might be hiding some tennis balls in her pants, ehuuhehu-*heavy breathing*

I know it doesn’t really mean much, but the onahole is ‘tanned’, compared to Tidy Type which is supposed to be a more pink-ish colour. Aside from that, it’s a uuuuhh, pretty standard looking sleeve! Feels nice and smooth thanks to Toy’s Heart’s Fresh Skin material, and also comes with a single-use packet of lube. Which I managed to block out with my hand and couldn’t be stuffed taking another photo. Excellent. It’s not Moisty lube though, so it doesn’t matter.

Also it might be because of the cold I’ve had all week, but my first thoughts when looking at the onahole from this angle was Mr. Meeseeks. Can dooooooooo.

Holy shit those bumps.

The Campus Life onaholes seem to be a pretty big deal for Toy’s Heart, hyping up the inner design on their website as a ‘dimensionless structure’ and other such jargon which just gives me the impression I’ll be fucking a deformed gateway to infinity for all eternity.

I mean… dimensionless structure? That’s the sort of bullet point you’d use on a TARDIS themed sex toy or something.

More importantly, they claim the onahole will manage to stay lubed up for a long, loooong time without drying out, even with a minimal amount. I absolutely needed to test this out! So going in for the first time, I smeared like the tiniest fucking drop of lube around the entrance. Just enough to initially penetrate it without risking a medical emergency, but nowhere near what I’d usually use.

And it’s true, which is pretty amazing and kind of scary! My first wank with Campus Life: Athlete Type was about 15 minutes or so? I’ve got no idea how it was evenly spreading around such a small amount of lube. Perhaps my penis sensed potential danger and started squirting out pre-cum as a defense mechanism, who knows. Either way, this is a pretty cool ‘feature’ of sorts.

Weow, should probably start rambling on about how it feels by now!

After looking at the above image on the back of the box, Campus Life: Athlete Type is just as tough as I expected. Seriously, this onahole puts up a fucking fight; the pushback is absurd. After popping into the tunnel you’re immediately greeted by some thick ribs and bumps which quickly spiral down to a point where the onahole has basically twisted itself shut. So right away there’s some intense stimulation gnawing away at your head. Really gotta yank the onahole down to bust through here, which results in an oddly satisfying sensation.

… Also noise! Every thrust. Every single motion. Every eveeeerything. This is one loud onahole, so be warned! It’s a never-ending assault of PFFFTTT-BLUUURRRFFFFFTT and strangled gasps of air which might have the neighbours reaching for their phone or crotch.

As you ram through, even larger notches start catching and pressing into the head, while the twisty design begins wrapping around your shaft. It’s a very narrow design and quite unforgiving in terms of being able to stretch out, so every little detail is enhanced to the extreme. Once you tug the onahole up too much, everything instantly slams shut again. Honestly, this one might end up being too tight if you’re girthier than average.

I’m not packing anything special and still managed to tear the opening on my first go. The weird thing is I actually felt it happen, like a pocket of air trapped inside suddenly shot back out at full force, ripping a huge fuckin’ fart noise. Completely majestic.

I should probably look into replacing my piss filter ceiling light one day.

The last part of Campus Life: Athlete Type gets even crazier, and at first I thought I’d reached the end sooner than expected. Keep aggressively shoving on ahead though, as this part is merely as thin as a bloody pin. It feels really bizarre, like you’ve just broken through the top, but no! While textured with ribbing, this whole area gets so stretched out (unlike the rest of the onahole) they don’t really do anything. However the sheer amount of pressure is out of this world, and I actually find it difficult to stay in. So much resistance.

Again, air easily gets trapped here. It results in a fun effect where you can feel the entire onahole actually swelling up slightly, like it’ll pop off and take someone’s eye out on the moon. Likewise, cumming directly into the end makes for an odd confidence booster because it looks and feels like you’ve just unloaded a few buckets worth, complete with more embarrassing noises. Campus Life: Athlete Type is about as close to a hentai movie as possible. Rapidly blink like a madman while looking at it and you’ll get the low budget animation quality, too.

I’ve enjoyed Campus Life: Athlete Type, a lot. Toy’s Heart have done some really interesting things with the internal design and I appreciate the rough feedback which doesn’t come easy. That’s also sort of a downfall though, as you’re always struggling with this thing. Falling into a typical masturbation rhythm of… you know, just stroking up and down? Not here; the onahole is constantly spitting you back out and sealing shut again. The challenge will always be there.

But if that’s what you’re looking for? A tennis player onahole which is just as loud as a real tennis player? Then yeah, go for it. Campus Life: Athlete Type is definitely a bit different, and it might even save you money on lube in the long run.

Also, WordPress freaked out about a number of words I used in this review which might not be proper words, yet had no issues with ‘PFFFTTT-BLUUURRRFFFFFTT’. Great!