Product: Onaho Market
Manufacturer: Tamatoys (?)
Measurements: length – ???, weight – ???
Retailers: NLS  (discontinued)

Okay this is kinda really stretching things for a Halloween-ish themed review, but I couldn’t find any accidental vampire blowjobs on a budget this year. Still, let’s take a look at what the ‘ol plastic pumpkin bucket has in store.

Now you might be thinking “I dunno, farm animal toys aren’t too cree-“

HONK HONK

There we go, this is Onaho Market from Tamatoys. It’s basically an onahole mystery box. You can tell, right? From the cover art of a girl just standing there looking a bit confused? Perhaps because her head is massively disproportionate and might act as a flotation device, therefore hindering her enjoyment of the pool‘s captivating depths. Really gives off those spooky vibes.

But yeah, fantastic idea. Seriously. You get two random onaholes in here for about ten bucks. At that price I was fully expecting a disposable cup and maybe a scouring pad lined with snotty tissue paper. I mean surely there’s no way Tamatoys would include any of their halfway decent onaholes.

It almost guarantees a horror show, and that’s exciting!

Tore the shrink-wrap off, opened it up aaaaaaaannd these look… like proper onaholes so far. Oh.

Huh. I recognised that grey blob on the right straight away. It’s the slightly uncomfortable Virgin Loop Hard by Ride Japan. That’s not Tamatoys at all! WHAT A TRICK.

The pink onahole on the left I’m not too sure of, but it definitely feels like another one of Ride Japan’s sponge-like things. Nothing special, but still a damn sight better than what I was thinking. Shit, Virgin Loop Hard alone retails for around double the price of Onaho Market’s masturbation gamble.

Taking a closer look at both onaholes though, I have a feeling they’re factory defects – the ones which roll right off the production line and instantly get absorbed into a layer of existing sex toys all over the factory floor. Someone from Tamatoys then goes in and scoops ’em all up. Makes sense probably. Maybe nah.

The pink one had this impressive chunk missing, while Virgin Loop Hard is… hmm, the material has an unusual roughness that it’s not supposed to. As if the whole thing could just snap in half or crumble into pieces mid-thrust.

Not that Virgin Loop wasn’t weird enough already thanks to its nails-on-a-chalkboard sensation. My penis still recoils at the thought of going through that clover shaped hole again.

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