Review: Kedamono Friends

Product: Kedamono Friends (けだものフレンズ)
Manufacturer: Tamatoys
Measurements: length – 12cm, weight – 150g
Retailers: Otona-Sekai / Kanojo Toys* / otonaJP

– This product was provided by otonaJP for masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Gotta admit, the only reason I initially gave even the slightest shit about watching Kemono Friends was because of the mass influx of hentai which started flooding Pixiv mere moments after the first episode. This method of picking what anime to watch each season rarely fails me, and Kemono Friends was no exception.

The post-apocalyptic theme and whirlwind of likeable characters (who would often show up for just a single scene) all wrapped up in the animation budget of a Simple 2000 game really spoke to me.

Also, Shoebill is the best character to grace a series for like ten seconds ever.

But yeah, Kemono Friends ended up becoming a bit of a thing, so naturally Tamatoys decided to vomit all over the floor with another one of their parody onaholes.

They called it Kedamono Friends. See? There’s a ‘D’ in there now. Slightly different name, completely original Tamatoys IP.

Except this one did really well for them. It was the top seller on Amazon Japan for ages, and user reviews still have it as one of the highest rated blobs of rubber they’ve ever released. So… huh?

Cheap, decent-ish anime parody products are basically the onahole industry’s gateway drug (I started off with a K-On! themed one), so sure. Considering it’s all of ten bucks, I was curious to check out Kedamono Friends. Would it be a good place for someone to start sticking their penis into?

Woul- nah.

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

The box art drawn by LOLICEPT is excellent, but uh, that’s about it here. Absolutely no thought has gone into the onahole itself. It looks like the dick tube equivalent of a yawn.

I do like that the generic design has some sense of mystery to it though. Is this Serval’s vagina? Some kind of warp pipe? Car axle? Maybe a pastry twist? Perhaps.

The material feels like sticky trash and has a heavy smell resembling a condom factory burning down. It’s fucking bad – I legitimately felt nauseous just after taking these unboxing photos.

– Feeling –

Then there’s pretty much nothing inside. The walls are too thin and lined with basic-ass textures which feel like smooth mush. The only sensation I got was thanks to my hand gripping down tighter and tighter in desperation, but honestly at that point you don’t really need a layer of rubber getting in the way of progress.

I mean hey, it’ll get you off maybe? Just in the same way as covering your cock in some cling wrap and then wanking as normal. Also I just found out there are there are too many worldwide terms for cling wrap. ‘Saran’ wrap? LE GRILL?!

So that’s the end of Kedamono Friends review then. An obvious result of ‘not good, save your money for something better’.

Then I got kinda shitfaced halfway through writing this about a week ago. It was really good. Words were all over the place, and I had an incredibly stupid internet-boomer idea.

What if I dressed up the onahole? What if I put some crap on it to look like Serval and then took a photo in a fuckin’ tree or whatever, followed by a photo of the onahole on my dick with the caption “don’t eat me!” Haha! That’d be hi-larious.

This got increasingly less funny in my head over time. Right to the point where I realised it was actually terrible, and that’s when I ran with it.

I went to the closest junk store with the goal of finding everything I’d need for hopefully two bucks.

This cost three bucks. It’ll be worth it though! It’ll look really funny an-

Oh.

No.

Not exactly what I pictured.

Better yet, the glue had an amazing effect on the onahole which left it feeling even worse than before. I think it was eating through the material. Part of Kedamono Friends is still melted onto my desk and won’t come off. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t shove my penis in it after that.

I did end up taking the onahole outside for a photo though.

I am a bad Friend.

– Summary –

lmao

Kedamono Friends

+ Nice box art
+ You can put it in a bin

– Boring to use, awful material, tiny size, smells like death

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