Review: Smell of Female Toilet

Product: Smell of Female Toilet (女子トイレの匂い)
Manufacturer: Tamatoys
Retailers: Otona-Sekai / otonaJP* / Kanojo Toys*

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Oh cool, Smell of Female Toilet. Nice. This delightful waste of chemicals reminds me of the most horrifyingly awkward orgasm I experienced earlier this year. And by ‘reminds me’, I mean ‘still haunts me on a near daily basis but this is a decent enough excuse to bring it up’.

It started with a random erection as I was walking to the train station; a poor combination of boxer shorts and jeans in the already sweltering heat was all the friction I needed. Nothing unusual, but fuck me if I could get it to go away. Didn’t matter what I tried to distract my brain with, nothing could calm things down.

By the time I was on the train my dick had already risen from the grave more times than Altered Beast’s main protagonist, and a throbbing bulge suddenly triggers some kind of panic mode in a crowded spot. As if anyone would even seriously notice? But ooooh shit nah – “that man’s fetish is riding the train” they’ll say. Front page headlines. Everyone will know.

Plus with the way I was constantly readjusting my posture it probably also looked like I was trying to ring someone with a rotary-dial telephone up my arse.

Make an onahole of this, Tamatoys. I fuckin’ dare you.

So about half an hour later I’m off the train and thinking I might as well just go have a wank. I had some time before work and it was early enough that the closet public toilet shouldn’t already be a disaster zone.

I get in there and sure enough the place is empty; nobody’s had a chance to shit in the urinal or piss all over a closed toilet seat yet. Time to lock myself into a stall and make the best of it. I whip out both my dick and phone, ready to clumsily thumb through whatever little hentai I’ve got on it. Everything’s fine.

Suddenly mid-masturbation, someone enters the stall next to me and fuckin’ SLAMS the toilet seat down only to immediately start farting and groaning as if his entire existence had been a bloated gassy nightmare just waiting for the right toilet seat to die on.

Still, too late. I’m not stoppin’ now. I start pulling a bit faster in an effort to quickly finish up. Except now I’m cautiously aware of the rapid hand movement shadows being cast under the stall divider and the slicked noises an absolute eternity worth of pre-cum is surely causing. Multi-tasking at its best.

Swiping through some nice-ass drawings of nice asses on my phone when whoops, gonna cum! Frantically bunching together some toilet paper, I put the phone on my leg without thinking and get ready to shoot into a bunched up wad of paper.

You know how when you orgasm so hard your whole body basically shuts down for a split-second into a spasm? Well yeah. My phone jolted off my leg and skidded right under to whoever was in the next stall.

I was fucking terrified, but also still cumming, attempting to now keep quiet from a horrendous mix of petrified pleasure.

Surely the other guy noticed a phone sliding at his feet. Would he hand it back? Was he going to steal my phone? Would I be able to react in time? Was the screen still on? What was ON my screen? Was this man’s foul odors enough to cover up the distinct chlorine-ish smell of semen? All this ran through my head at the exact same time, yet all I could muster was a whimpered “uuuuuuhhhh”.

After a few seconds which felt like forever, a hand reaches under with my phone. “T-thanks” I say, snatching it away with my wank hand.

I flip it over and this image is still on the screen, zoomed in slightly, hidden under a few new cracks, but at MAXIMUM brightness.

(A jinjin classic!)

Welp. ‘Bout to get the hell out of there, when suddenly the guy in the next stall beats me to it – he’s GONE, swings his door open and power walks loudly away. I sat there for another five minutes or so contemplating my existence while also wondering if he was just waiting for me at the entrance or something, maybe to discuss the fine art of futa. But nah.

Now all these months later, I’m just concerned that I might have stopped that gassy man from actually taking a shit. I hope he didn’t explode.

But wow! Smell of Female Toilet!

Lens flares!

I think we all know what a public toilet typically smells like. It’s all the same crap, yeah? But I was very interested with inhaling Tamatoys’ interpretation. I think. Maybe. No. I spent $16 on this.

Hoooowever as far as smell fetish products go, this is a pretty big change from the typical ‘smell of vagina’, ‘smell of panties’ or ‘smell of panties on vagina’. So what did Tamatoys go with here? How exactly do you capture the smell of a female toilet?

Toilet cleaner, apparently. Lemon… toilet cleaner. Mmmmm. That’s all Smell of Female Toilet smells like. It’s a harsh citrus burst which quickly fades into a lingering scent of regret.

Thanks Tamatoys, very nice!

Smell of Female Toilet

+ Happy new year!

– Really, don’t buy this product. It’s shit, but not in the way the name suggests

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