Review: Yandere

Product: Yandere (ヤンデレ)
Manufacturer: Toy’s Heart
Measurements: length – 15cm, weight – 300g
Retailers: J-List* / otonaJP / Kanojo Toys* / Otona-Sekai / Toy Demon*

– This product was provided by otonaJP for masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

“Ooouuuuuuaaaahhh?” Catching the tail end of a constipated snoring sound effect inspired by the rapidly fading memories of a Tim Allen-related dream, you find yourself sharply awake.

Glancing over at the clock radio, it’s 3:33am. That poor buzzing LCD hasn’t worked properly in years – it’s always 3:33am.

Suddenly there’s a loud knock at the door followed by some indistinct yelling. You sigh in relief, realising this must have been what woke you up in the first place. Certainly not your bladder’s frantic panic signals to the brain that it was at breaking point from the seventeen glasses of water before bed.

Peeling the soggy bed sheets aside, you stumble off to see who it could be.

The banging gets louder as you approach the front door. Now a distinct scraping of fingernails can be heard trailing down the other side; almost perfectly matching your exact hand motion towards the handle.

“Hel-”

“SENSEI! YOU’RE AWAKE”

Ooooh, it’s just Yandere-chan from school. Classic Yandere-chan, always disregarding somewhat normal sleep cycles to see how you’re doing in the middle of the night.

“What’s up, Yandere? I was just having the best dream”.

“WAS IT ABOUT ME?” She asks, vibrating on the spot with her head wedged through the door’s opening.

“Oh, no. Tim the Tool Man Taylor was there, and the rest of Home Improvement’s cast. Remember their neighbour Wilson? Haha, what a characte-”

Yandere-chan briefly winces in disgust before distorting back to an uncomfortable smile, “SENSEI WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THOSE PEOPLE AREN’T ME. I ONLY EVER THINK OF YOU, SENSEI. NOT WILSON-SAN”.

You yawn and laugh at the same time, cracking your jaw in the process. “So uh, what are you doing here, Yandere-chan? It’s pretty late…”

“I MADE YOU A PRESENT, SENSEI. IT’S AN ONAHOLE. SO EVEN WHEN YOU MASTURBATE, A PIECE OF YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN A PIECE OF ME, UNTIL WE’RE OFFICIALLY TOGETHER… FOREVER”

She presses the mysterious masturbator firmly against your chest.

“Why is… why is it red? What is this made out of?” You ask, not even attempting to hide the growing fear in your voice over how easily exposed an erection would be right now considering you answered the front door completely naked.

“Y-Yandere-chan?!”

She’s gone. The front door is now wide open, but maybe that was just the wind, right? Oh wait. It’s an apartment.

A chill runs down your spine.

Hey, here’s Yandere from Toy’s Heart. A very straight forward onahole name based on the same character trait. Look seriously, I’m yet to see a single downside to knowing a psychotic love-sick girl who might eventually carve out your ribcage just to get closer to your heart. It’s win-win.

But the fact that Toy’s Heart were behind this one had me more excited, because as much as I love their work… they kinda got a bit repetitive and ‘safe’ with their products for a while there.

Yandere though? With its blood-red material, crazy-eye artwork courtesy of @JackDempa and a menacing product description claim like:

If you use this, there is a possibility that you will not be able to feel anything for other products ever again. You will never be satisfied by another onahole.

Pretty fun! They really got into it. Might as well do the same.

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

(Forgot to put it in the photo, but a small bottle of Moisty lube is also included)

Made from the company’s ‘Fine Cross IZUHA’ material, Yandere is a pleasure to hold. I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but it’s really hard to fault Toy’s Heart on their ten billion types of wank rubber. Fine Cross IZUHA in particular is designed for maximum durability; easily stretching and warping while maintaining a firm hold. Fits the theme well.

At 300g it’s also packing more weight than I expected at first glance, and that’s always nice. So much more satisfying to slam down on your crotch.

Sure it basically looks the same as every other onahole Toy’s Heart put out, but now it’s a lovely shade of red! Original vagina do not steal.

– Feeling –

Just check out the sheer variety of textures going on, and boy does Yandere start off amazingly strong.

As your head pushes through the entrance it’s instantly met with a series of twisted ridges that flick and catch against all the right spots. Adding to this, the walls are also cut in a jagged fashion which helps tangle all those winding textures together harder.

The whole thing works in this blissful mess of uneven pressure and stimulation. I quickly found myself holding the onahole up so that I’d just stroke the first bit over my glans over and over. Stuff the rest.

And really, that’s… kind of the highlight here? Maybe I was expecting too much based on the promo images, but Yandere is surprisingly tame.

The mid-section especially seems to mush into a gentle sensation of bumps sliding down your shaft, which just leaves me wanting something a lot stronger. Perhaps some extra padding on the walls could have made it a tighter experience? I dunno, but personally I don’t find Yandere well suited for hard and fast motions.

This goes for the faux-uterus at the end too. There’s a nice little squeeze to pop in there, but it falls flat when you’re trying to go all out. Big ol’ empty space.

Yandere’s perfectly fine for slower sessions – I’d say the contrast between that hard-hitting entry and the rest of it could be fun for edging – but I was hoping the internal design would have more punch.

I mean, if I’m gonna fantasize about fucking the girl on the box, I’d like to imagine it’d be some kinda wild ride. Maybe into the sex-sunset on a horse made entirely from the hair she’s been secretly cutting from my head. Not this leisurely stroll.

– Summary –

As it is, Yandere has a really satisfying entry point but doesn’t do anything to stand out after that. There’s an easy-going level of stimulation which kinda borders on being too dull for its own good.

This should have been something so much more unique.

Oh no.

ULTRA 64 NSFW SECTION:

Oh man, I was genuinely blown away by the response from my first video test in the Stank Bitch review. It’s probably no surprise that I’m incredibly nervous about filming myself wanking given that it took five years of running this blog to finally happen, so cheers! You helped me feel a bit less shit about myself. :’)

Wasn’t exactly planning on doing one for this review considering the onahole itself isn’t noteworthy, but hey. Enjoy (?)

Yandere

+ High durability – will likely last a long time
+ Material dries quickly
+ Great entrance that leads into a steady (but mild) level of stimulation
+ It’s… red!

– Tunnel lacks any surprises which can make longer sessions boring
– Disappointing end zone
– Sorta just wasted potential in general

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