Review: Super Hard and Tight Cyclist Girl

Product: Super Hard and Tight ~Cyclist Girl~ (極キツハード ～自転車女子～)
Manufacturer: Toy’s Heart
Measurements: length – 17cm, weight – 385g
Retailers: J-List* / otonaJP / Kanojo Toys* / Toy Demon*

– This product was provided by Toy’s Heart for masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Ah man. You ever see a girl riding a bicycle and immediately attempt to visualise the unique characteristics of her vagina? Just like, completely stop what you’re doing, ragdoll to the ground and start rubbing your temples to maximise the potential physic link of what lies underneath those bike shorts? Y-yeah?

I mean if onaholes have taught us anything, it’s that doing virtually any activity drastically alters the level of tightness, variety of textures and sheer amount of Green Hill Zone-esque loops going on down there.

Well no more footpath pileups, because Toy’s Heart finally have the definitive answer with Super Hard and Tight ~Cyclist Girl~ and hoooly shit-in-a-box it definitely lives up to most of that name.

Look, I’m not ashamed to admit I initially got excited just because the box art features sweaty tits. Put sweaty tits made of mortar on a brick and I’m there. Which is good, because this onahole probably feels like one.

If you’ve read almost any of these reviews over the last few years, you’ve likely seen me whinge about how everything’s not quite tight or rough enough for my liking because I want my stimulation set to ‘absolute annihilation’. That’s uh, likely thanks to said years of fucking rubber vaginas.

The whole death-grip thing, you know? It’s secretly played a part in why content slows down here for extended periods of time (but don’t worry, the hilariously devastating depression takes most of the credit!) Sometimes I just need to give my dick some breathing room.

So here’s Super Hard and Tight ~Cyclist Girl~, a peaceful bike ride down an active volcano made of 100% cat claws and battery acid which exceeded my desires to the point of breaking them.

I think this is the first onahole I’ve ever felt completely defeated by. Maybe a good thing in the sense that it helped remind me that my penis is in fact not made of stone, but also bad because it legitimately scared me off wanking for quite a while.

Being thrust into unknown territory where I wasn’t living inside a rubber anime vag 24/7 was strange. I didn’t know what to do with my hands anymore.

Anyway this is Super Hard and Tight ~Cyclist Girl~ in all its kiiinda see-through glory. The package also includes a little bottle of Moisty lube.

This onahole is a tad longer than usual for a Toy’s Heart release and they’ve really demonstrated how extreme their unique Fine Cross material can get. It’s thick and rock solid, like a typical line of dialogue from a romance novel.

Just attempting to squeeze down on it, you can tell Toy’s Heart weren’t joking with their scientific findings that merely coming into close proximity with a bicycle will turn someone’s vagina into a vice. Absolute crusher.

The chaos starts with a rather small entry point (there’s also a decorative anus below which kinda looks like a broken window). It struggles to give way, making for an uncomfortable pop around your head once you’ve pushed in hard enough. Make sure there’s enough lube smeared around here to avoid losing a layer of skin or two.

Once that’s sorted there’s an enormous burst of stimulation right from the get-go, but I knew something was immediately off about it. Like I said before, I enjoy a friendly bit of having my dick smashed to pieces while wanking into onaholes, but Super Hard and Tight ~Cyclist Girl~ was somehow doing it all wrong. The underside of my glans felt like they were being fucking shredded.

See, the tunnel is indeed both (super) hard and tight, but it’s also (super) bendy.

For whatever reason my phone’s camera had an impossible time picking up the internal design correctly. In person you can see the insides easily but OH WELL. Just imagine that black line is the tunnel.

So your head slams into the bend with every single stroke, right? This results in a butt-clenching judder as your shaft proceeds to violently scrape through in an effort to flatten the path back out again. You’re always fighting with this part and the onahole has barely even started. Great!

To make matters worse and/or better, the lube wasn’t making it all the way down smoothly. This enhanced the friction by a billion percent and made it hard to move, turning the entire situation into a legitimate fire hazard.

No surprise then; the first time I unloaded into Super Hard and Tight ~Cyclist Girl~ wasn’t particularly satisfying. At all. There’s nothing worse than a sad cum, and this was the saddest of cums.

Something wasn’t agreeing with me, so I waited a few more days to try again.

At least the artwork is great!

Fast forward to an all-new erection that I was willing to potentially waste on this onahole, and we’re off. The second time I went with a different – thicker – kind of lube in the hopes it’d work better. Nope. It SURE DIDN’T.

In fact that might have made things worse, because after a few minutes of stroking it was like my fight or flight response suddenly kicked in. I was still erect and pumping away, but my head had gone fucking numb. Both of them. What are ya gonna do? Simply stop and yank the onahole off? No way, my brain shuts off real good for the thinkin’ stuff when I’m on the verge of that final swell.

Then I felt it – a really awful pinch down my shaft. This managed to trigger an orgasm at that exact moment followed by INSTANT FLACCID. I fuckin’ freaked man. It was like watching a penis-shaped balloon that was filled with cum rapidly deflate.

My shaft was tender and I had a tingly sensation running across my head. The next day I was struggling to maintain an erection, so I rested. Perhaps the onahole pinched a nerve or something? I’ve only just started masturbating like a maniac again a few days ago, where I damn near tore another onahole in half. That’s a story for another review though~

Shit. I haven’t tried Super Hard and Tight ~Cyclist Girl~ since then and honestly… I don’t intend on giving it another shot anytime soon.

Sorry, bit of another non-review in the end!

But if it helps, Super Hard and Tight ~Cyclist Girl~ currently has two positive user reviews on both Toy Demon and otonaJP. This is a tank of an onahole and might very well suit your needs for something incredibly aggressive. Being mostly see-through is fun too. Not enough onaholes these days let you appreciate seeing your cum flood an impossibly narrow space.

But yeah, personally my penis didn’t agree with this one in the slightest. No video or pics this time, I’ll try to make up for it soon!

Super Hard and Tight ~Cyclist Girl~

+ It’s certainly super hard and tight. The material is tough and the inner tunnel will crush you
+ Designed for extra rough play
+ You can see your dick through the material. Draw a smiley face on it if you want

– IT
– Pretty expensive
– BROKE
– Difficult entry point
– MY
– Not much variety in terms of textures
– DICK
– 🙁

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