Review: Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Crystal Hard

Product: Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Crystal Hard (すじまんくぱぁ ろりんこ　クリスタルハード)
Manufacturer: Magic Eyes
Measurements: length – 16cm, weight – 450g
Retailers: otonaJP / Motsu Toys* / Kanojo Toys* / Otona-Sekai / Toy Demon*

– This product was provided by otonaJP for masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Alright sluts, the questionable-yet-entirely-work-safe-all-things-considered loli onahole bride is back!

I can’t particularly suggest how to react to any of the “oh” moments from a single opening sentence, but watch out. Magic Eyes’ Sujiman Kupa Lolinco has returned once again, and this time she’s HARD. Hard as CRYSTALS.

Not quite diamonds then, that’s your job.

Hang on though! Before we dive into the latest ‘Crystal Hard‘ version, let’s go over some brief history between my cock and this series of rubber wives. Sure. Why not.

Maybe we’ll go play some Hang On afterwards.

About eighty years ago I reviewed the original Sujiman Kupa Lolinco in 2014 and absolutely fell in love. Fuck me it was the first sorta expensive onahole I’d purchased (as in more than $20) and it blew me away. This was pure shaft-hugging, mind-melting stimulation combined with a stupidly high level of detail for the entry point.

“Wow!” I proclaimed. “Masturbating surely isn’t going to get any better than thi-” SUJIMAN KUPA LOLINCO VIRGO.

2015 saw the launch of basically the same onahole as before, just twice the physical size and somehow even tighter. God-tier. I’ve destroyed two Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Virgo’s over the years and I’d happily fuck my way through another if I didn’t fear it’d slow down new reviews even further. Easily one of my favourite onaholes ever.

… Then along came Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Mochiri Soft in 2017. The idea was fine and it still felt great – just a softer version for those not too keen on cutting off their blood flow – but the pudding-like material itself was total dog shit. Completely went to hell within a week or so.

(Did get these dick pics out of it at least!)

Basically:

– Sujiman Kupa Lolinco = 😀
– Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Virgo = 😀 😀 !
– Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Mochiri Soft = 🙁

Alright! Now onto Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Crystal Hard!

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

Not pictured: a really greasy plastic bag. The onahole itself is fine when you first unwrap it but woooow the bag was a slippery nightmare. Aside from that, yeah. Standard sample pack of Magic Eyes’ lube.

I was a bit sad to find the box is missing the silly little Japanese marriage certificate inside. Every other version of Sujiman Kupa Lolinco has had one, but whatever. Certainly not going to cry about it… for more than seven hours, max.

Uuuuhh, I found out wetting the onahole helps my camera focus on it, so there’s that! It’s water, don’t worry.

I love how the Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Crystal Hard looks. Design-wise it’s exactly the same as previous versions – both inside and out – except now you can see it all. Fancy floating red VAGINA TUBE and everything.

Spreading it open isn’t quite as exciting lookin’, which is… kind of expected. Very blue. Maybe pretend it’s that chick from Mass Effect. You know. The blue girl. Garfield.

Magic Eyes’ used Sujiman Kupa Lolinco to kick off the whole ‘Crystal Hard’ thing, and it’s not just a one-off gimmick for them (having since given two other products the same treatment). This material is genuinely unique. It’s firm to hold and doesn’t flop around during use, yet somehow still feels like you’ve got a big handful of gel.

Oh yeah, personally I didn’t notice any kind of rubbery scent from it, but I’ve seen a few people mention that it smells pretty bad at first. Maybe my nose is just fucked at this point. Either way I assume that’d vanish after a good wash.

Anyway it gives the onahole a fun stretchy vibe that the previous versions didn’t. Perfect for any social situation. Office Christmas party not going well? No worries, just whip out Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Crystal Hard and tell everyone you’re going to do a big cum inside it.

Comparing the three, that Crystal Hard material seriously makes a huge difference. No flop to it whatsoever.

Time to flop a dick in there, I guess! EhuHUhufuhau.

– Feeling –

Happy to say that pushing your head through those big puffy novelty clown vaginal lips feels just as fucking fantastic as ever. Sliding Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Crystal Hard slooowly down over your cock is such a fist-clenching burst of stimulation, my god.

There’s so much going on just at the entrance alone; the smooth gel exterior followed by a meaty wall that locks over your shaft as you’re guided into the narrow red tunnel within. Everything hits you in no time.

Definitely not as tight as the original version, however it still clamps around you snugly.

Once you’re all the way in, Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Crystal Hard is all about a sense of comforting pressure more than anything. There’s a choke point in the middle which stimulates the underside of your head with each thrust (more of a gentle flick if anything) but nothing is going to catch you off-guard.

Some ribbing, some bumps – it all rubs together in a big ‘ol squeeze. Really nice stuff. Gives the impression you’re fucking something much larger than a blob in your hand.

I love yanking the entire thing off my dick after a long round of casual wanking, only to tease my head with the entry before slamming back in there. The contrast is insane; like breathing all-new life into an erection halfway through. Man, there’s nothing like feeling that extra pulse making you harder than before while inside such a narrow tunnel.

Honestly, being able to (kinda) see what’s going inside makes this one even hotter to use too. Watching the inner tunnel expand and bulge as your shaft pumps through it; stabbing away at the end chamber.

That’s quality entertainment all by yourself.

Speaking of the end chamber though, I kinda get the feeling they’ve made it a tad more cramped in this one? Not a huge issue, but there’s been a few times where shooting a load deep inside has felt like cumming into a solid wall of despair.

Aside from that, no complaints here. Magic Eyes’ new Crystal Hard material is a winner with its increased durability, added flexibility and see-through-ality. Plus the Sujiman Kupa Lolinco onahole design has always been a favourite of mine. They’ve made a good thing even more pleasant to masturbate with.

Can’t say that about staplers.

– Cleaning – 

Now here’s the tricky shit. Previous Sujiman Kupa Lolinco onaholes have all been a total bitch to clean due to how tight their entry points are, and well… Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Crystal Hard is unfortunately about the same. The good news is the main gel-like material is a huge improvement – simple to wash clean and doesn’t get quite as sticky over time – but that inner tunnel is a pain.

Just be prepared to spend a while wigglin’ a finger or two inside the onahole under running water; flush everything out as best you can. It’s not particularly difficult to wash, just time-consuming compared to most onaholes. Doesn’t help that most of your cum will be trapped riiiiight at the end. At least it’ll get easier over time as the onahole begins to stretch out.

To dry the tunnel, I use a microfiber cloth wrapped over an index finger and simply jab it in. Carefully though! You don’t want to accidentally rip the insides.

– Summary –

Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Crystal Hard is lovely. Magic Eyes have kept the same design as the original version, but the new material is a huge improvement in just about every way. It’s tight without being overwhelming and offers one hell of a punch when you first jam your dick in the opening. Also doesn’t cost much, which is always nice.

Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Crystal Hard

+ Incredible stimulation from the entry, followed by nice comforting pressure around your shaft. FEELS GOOD
+ This new material owns. Stays firm but has more flexibility than ever. Fun to look at too
+ Excellent price

– Cleaning it is fiddly and time-consuming
– Personally I found the end zone too cramped at times? Depends on where you’re pumping your load in the tunnel. Sometimes you might get jammed against a wall. Just like real life. Really makes you think
– There’s no marriage certificate in the box! >=|

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