Review: The Sexy Smell of Vagina During Sex

Product: The Sexy Smell of Vagina During Sex (セックス中に漂ういやらしいアソコの匂い)
Manufacturer: Tamatoys
Retailers: otonaJP / J-List* / AkibaFarm / Kanojo Toys*

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Welp. If you’ve ever wanted any solid 100% indisputable concrete evidence of time travel being a thing, here you go. Tamatoys have quietly managed to bottle it under the premise of some ‘sexy smell’ of a ‘vagina’ during ‘sex’.

Yeah. This is from future Tamatoys in probably like thirty years time or something. A civilisation rebuilt entirely around the ancient gospel of Midway’s San Francisco Rush 2049, where cars have wings and explode the instant they start skidding upside down.

Nobody is driving these things though. Why? Probably ’cause everyone’s off busy fuckin’ robots or something. That or the whole exploding death-trap thing, I dunno.

Yep, robot sex all day every day. Explosions are gonna happen either way.

So when Tamatoys’ CEO put in an urgent request for the smell division department to capture the essence of a vagina’s sexy smell specifically during sex, the team went hard at work inside their sex robots.

Imagine a whole room full of sweaty electronic humping almost entirely drowned out by the sound of vicious snorting. Mere minutes later the scent is scientifically complete. The CEO rolls over on his motorised unicycle and flares his nostrils to impressive lengths before inhaling.

“Ah yes, melted plastic and cheap perfume. That’s the sexy vagina we all know and love during sex, in this, the year of 2049”.

After production, the entire shipment is loaded onto a truck which accidentally grazes under a tree branch causing it to burst into flames and open a time warp back to our present time. It’s the only logical explanation.

Even Google Translate’s attempt at this product’s name – while completely different – still doesn’t come close.

Nah, The Sexy Smell of Vagina During Sex is just… eugh. After the initial spray it has that harsh burning burst of really cheap-shit perfume, which is fairly standard for Tamatoys’ worst smell fetish products. It’s the sort of thing that legitimately makes you nauseous if you try to take a big huff right away.

Once the scent settles (after about 30 seconds or so), it simply transforms into this dull burnt smell before fading completely. As if you’ve just overloaded the power board and fried something expensive before leaving the room to make it look like it wasn’t your fault.

I’m certainly no astrologist, but I’m confident in saying this is not what a (sexy) vagina smells like during sex.

The Sexy Smell of Vagina During Sex

+ This one’s been out for a while now, so hopefully it’ll be discontinued soon

– Everything
– It kinda smells like burnt plastic which isn’t particularly erotic
– J-List is charging 18 entire American big bucks for this

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