Review: Kupaa Trip Zorizori Hard

Product: Kupaa Trip Zorizori Hard (ぱぁトリップ ゾリゾリ五連硬質壁 ハードVer)
Manufacturer: Magic Eyes
Measurements: length – 15cm, weight – 340g
Retailers: otonaJP* / Kanojo Toys*

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Imagine if someone briskly power-walked up to you and whispered a vaguely threatening concept directly into your ear canal; that of one such “steampunk onahole”. God. Fuck. Would you shit your pants? I’d probably shit my pants.

I mean, what even comes to mind with a steampunk themed onahole? Some kind of rusty patchwork steel tube with cogs and clocks all over it? Maybe a few belts wrapped around for added tightness? Bung on a pair of goggles too I guess, I dunno. Lace the entire innards with feathers and those fancy hats. Wow, great! We’ve got ourselves a good ‘ol fashioned manglin’.

Yeah but nah. Magic Eyes took on this challenge a while back with the Kupaa Trip Zorizori – the latest version of their existing Kupaa Triple Trip. They’ve changed up the tunnel design and now it comes in either a Soft or Hard version.

In my ongoing quest to annihilate my dick, today I’ll be takin’ a look at the Hard version.

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

The cardboard box is heeeaps flimsy, but the onahole itself is nestled in a sturdy little plastic container. You could use this for storage purposes if you wanted! Doesn’t even have to be exclusively for the onahole. Maybe put some sneaky ham slices in there, who knows.

At first glance Kupaa Trip Zorizori might look a tad weird, but unless you’ve been falling down the stairs whilst consuming eighteen bottles of wine, you can sorta make out…

GEARS. Cogs? GEARS OF COG. That’s it, that’s the steampunk. Great!

Honestly the external texture is cool as fuck. It feels amazing to hold with all those chunky raised textures, and the material itself is absolutely wonderful. Kinda squishy and gel-like (??), yet puts up enough resistance to keep it from sinking between your fingers during an especially intense grip.

In the past I’ve found myself let down by Magic Eyes’ unfortunate decline with their build quality, but Kupaa Trip Zorizori immediately seems like a return to glory. Wrapping your meat-suit bones around this is lovely.

(Not a big fan of my phone picking up every single OLD MAN CREVICE in my fingers while struggling to focus on rubber fuck tubes, gotta be honest).

The entrance looks a tad basic and raggedy, but that’s probably fair enough considering this is some kind of mechanical vagina cog-o-rama. When peeking inside you can get a nice glimpse of the red meaty interior, and I love that the thick transparent body means you can see the inner layer expand around your shaft with each thrust.

– Feeling –

Despite having HARD in its name, at first this onahole is anything but. The squishy entrance easily gives way over your head as you push through and gently eases into its tougher inner sleeve. This entire sensation is really nice; you’re met with a comforting wave of pleasure that encases your glands as if someone just lovingly pelted a blob of mystery goo at your crotch.

Basically Kupaa Trip Zorizori’s opening point packs a punch, but in the most calming kinda way. That initial penetration is bliss.

From there you’ll be guided into a much narrow, tighter chamber which runs the length of the onahole. There’s some impressive flexibility here even with the walls being thickly padded, but don’t worry – they’re always putting on some pretty overwhelming pressure. The moment your dick backs out, that tunnel clenches right back into the width of a bloody straw.

Seemingly endless ribbing grinds against your shaft as you stroke away – further amplified by the sheer crushing grip – but that’s pretty much the only thing going on in here. To be fair I’m not sure what Magic Eyes could have done without sacrificing the extremely tight ‘hard’ design, but at times it ends up being fairly bland.

At best I’d find myself sinking into a pretty uneventful wanking rhythm, always hoping for something to catch me off-guard or change things up for some extra erection power. I mean, the onahole always did the job in the end (♫ ~it doesn’t even matter~ ♫), but eeeh.

At worst though, this repetitive texture often made my dick fucking ache after a while. Man, there were times where it felt like I’d just fucked my way up thirty flights of stairs.

This isn’t exactly helped by the onahole’s end point, which tapers off so hard it ends up awkwardly pinching the very tip of your penis like some kinda steampunk-ass crab. This also leads into the biggest problem I had with Kupaa Trip Zorizori, in that absolutely zero thought was put into the fact that cum… kinda needs somewhere to go.

You know when you’re right on the verge of orgasm and your cock swells up just that little bit bigger than before during the final few strokes? That’s neat, and seeing the red inner sleeve react through the transparent cogs is a fun visual that’d have nine out of ten toothpaste scientists baffled.

You know what’s not neat? Finally pumping a few loads only for an instant burning sensation because your cum gets fuckin’ trapped. It’s as if there’s no room to actually leave your urethra, so it goes back in and directly into the “nah don’t like this” part of your brain.

Of course this can be easily avoided by not cumming directly into the back wall, but where’s the fun in that? If I’m not squishing the onahole over my cock like a second skin with the sudden strength of The Hulk wearing those toy Hulk gloves during orgasm, then it’s probably not even worth the temporary deviation of blood.

– Cleaning –

I genuinely wish I enjoyed this onahole more, because holy shit it’s a joy to maintain. Kupaa Trip Zorizori cleans up so well!

Despite the tunnel being so tight, flushing your mess out is a breeze, and the external material is damn near invincible. I used this for a few weeks before review and it kept lookin’ like new. No damage and never even got sticky. I’ve also yet to see any warning signs of the internal layer peeling away from the walls, which used to be an issue for dual-layer onaholes from Magic Eyes.

In terms of build quality, this is one of Magic Eyes’ best products in years.

– Summary –

Sadly the fantastic combination of chunky, see-through material with a more intense inner layer just can’t save the day here for me. After an almost god-tier entry point, the actual tunnel design fails to deliver any excitement. The bland ribbed textures are one thing, but I just can’t get over the fact they’ve left fuck all space to cum into.

Maybe the Soft version of Kupaa Trip Zorizori is the better option? Big farts on this one though.

Kupaa Trip Zorizori Hard

+ Fantastic combination of material, with a hugely thick squishy exterior and a tough inner layer
+ The entry point does some mystical steampunk cog massagin’ kinda shit to your head
+ It sure is tight
+ Easy to keep clean

– Aside from the opening, the tunnel is pretty dull and lacks anything to keep the stimulation exciting
– The repetitive ribbing design made my shaft ache after a while, dunno what’s going on there
– Way too cramped for its own good towards the end to the point where cumming feels it’s about to be forced back down your urethra and oh god I’m gonna need to ask Jeeves if it’s possible to impregnate yourself fuck oh no

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