Review: Anal Kaikin!! Gal Bitch

Product: Anal Kaikin!! Gal Bitch (アナル解禁!!ギャルビッチ)
Manufacturer: A-One
Measurements: length – 14.5cm, weight – 260g
Retailers: Kimochii Shop / otonaJP* / Kanojo Toys* / ToyDemon*

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Look, if you’re gonna go ahead and call your product something like Anal Kaikin!! Gal Bitch then you’ve already got my immediate attention. Instant winner. Surely a name that’d work for absolutely everything (aside from maaaaaybe chocolate milk).

Plus the box art, man. In our current year of 20XX where most onahole companies are gradually toning down their artwork to appease Amazon Japan’s sentient tears over cartoon nudity, it’s sorta refreshing to see three big beautiful eyes on full display.

So hilariously extreme, I love it. The can-crushin’ tits and yellow paint splotch as vagina censorship just makes it even funnier. To quote that famous line in Indianapolis Jones and the Big Parade:

But yeah, A-One’s Anal Kaikin!! Gal Bitch is an anal hole (shocker) at a budget-friendly price of about $20. The last time I tried a cheap onahole with ‘bitch’ in its name, it was pretty damn fantastic. Fingers crossed!

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

The eternal struggle for gal-themed onaholes not being tanned continues.

I mean, I can understand why most companies wouldn’t wanna be arsed using an entirely different material colour, but in this case A-One specifically showed a much more bronze lookin’ product in their own promo shots.

That’s a bit inviting someone over for a roast chicken dinner only to serve them a plate of raw chicken. And then cumming in your pants.

Ah well. Aside from that non-event, the onahole is fairly light but firm enough to not flop around given its narrow structure. No smell to it, nor did it feel greasy outta the box – always a pleasant surprise considering some cheaper products can give the illusion of being plucked right out of a deep fryer.

I did notice a few imperfections with some tiny little air bubbles and a strange mark near the entrance, but that’s just the luck of the draw I guess.

Otherwise, the attention to detail is really nice! They whacked a whole vagina on top for decoration and everything, just like a good cake.

The entry is also fucking tiny and I could feel my fingers bulking up trying to keep it stretched open long enough to take a crap photo too. Seemed promising enough for an anal onahole.

– Feeling –

INSTANTLY INSIDE. Honestly after the struggle I had keeping the hole spread open with my fingers, I was kinda expecting a bit of a fight getting a cock in there – but nope. The real dilemma here is that I do not have penises for fingers it would seem.

The hole’s so small it can be real fiddly just getting lube spread around the entrance, yet smashing a cock into it immediately welcomes you into the void. There’s no real sensation popping inside either; no tight squeeze or satisfying jolt from forcing a round peg into a… (smaller) round hole.

I would have loved a more, like, ‘well done you’ve gotten inside an arse’ feeling, but you’re not gonna get that with Anal Kaikin!! Gal Bitch. 

Realistically the material would need to be a lot tougher around the entry, and I couldn’t see that working too well with such a narrow design.

That said, once you’re inside there’s definitely a pleasant crush which kinda throbs around your shaft with each stroke. The walls are extremely tight (mostly because the product itself is pretty thin) and at times I found the entire onahole simply tugging at my skin rather than freely moving up and down, but it did so in a nice way?

Basically the tunnel will seal you in with cement-like strength almost immediately, which sorta helped set the anal illusion. Cement mixers, am I right? Sexy.

One time there I’d just started gettin’ into a good wank with this thing, but my flatmate came home heaps earlier than I was expecting and my door was wide open, so I had to quickly rush over to close it with the onahole still firmly stuck on my cock. Usually most onaholes would simply shoot right off, but good ‘ol Anal Kaikin!! Gal Bitch was happy to bounce around, hangin’ on for dear life.

(Yes, this exact scenario has happened a few times over the years. Also yes, my caveman brain has no time for things like closing a door).

There’s a solid kink in the tunnel just after the halfway mark though, and once you’ve pounded into this a few times the tunnel begins to loosen up pretty significantly. I’d imagine it probably sneaks a tiny amount of air in, then it has no nowhere to go.

Either way the longer you go at it, the easier this onahole gets. Yet at the same time that halfway point will do its absolute fucking best to reject your dick with each thrust. It’s a weirdly satisfying balance!

Anal Kaikin!! Gal Bitch goes from desperately clinging on to wanting nothing to do with you in the space of like… a minute.

At this point in the review I wish I could try to pad out at least three paragraphs on how the various textures feel against your cock while going off on at least twenty tangents, but I genuinely couldn’t tell anything apart in this onahole.

It’s not like A-One didn’t try either, as the actual tunnel showcases a good amount of effort:

Apologies to the onahole retailer I flogged this photo from on Twitter; I’ve forgotten which one it was. 🙁 But this absolute guro-tier shot clearly displays a variety of textures going on.

When wrapped around your cock the tunnel simply blends together into a comfy, bland mush. Nothing stands out. It’s not a bad thing in this case, but it still feels like A-One were hoping to achieve something more.

Maybe if the onahole itself was bigger? But then it’d bump the price up and defeat the purpose of a cheap rubber arse fuck.

– Cleaning –

Not much to worry about here, although I’d suggest taking it a bit easy while stretching the hole open under running water. I dunno, it takes a cock with ease, but holding it open sorta feels like something might rip eventually. I wouldn’t recommend flipping this one inside out either, just in case it implodes (the walls are too thin hey).

The exterior also dries EXTREMELY quick which is pretty cool. I’d probably tell people about it as a fun fact at the supermarket or whatever.

Carrot not included.

– Summary –

Overall for a twenty buck anal onahole, Anal Kaikin!! Gal Bitch is… fine! It’s not gonna blow you away or anything (you’d need an oral onahole for that hahaheuhaiub), but it delivers a comfortable vacuum grip which quickly transform into something that’ll keep trying to fight your shaft the longer you go at it.

I think A-One did a good job with the visual aspect too, which certainly helps drive home that it’s an arse instead of one of ten billion vagina onaholes.

The entry point is a tad disappointing in that it lacks any kind of initial stimulation, and the structure is just a tad too narrow for its own good (if you’ve got a thick cock you might just split this thing instantly), but eh. It’s perfectly okay at gathering cum from your penis.

LAST SECOND ADDITION:

Had an absolute revelation after an early morning wank today where I slapped it onto my desk and the drinking glass made a nice shadow.

Anal Kaikin!! Gal Bitch

+ At $20 it’s a pretty cheap, decent anal onahole if you really put your mind into it (along with your dick)
+ The box art is hilarious
+ Low maintenance

– The onahole is very narrow, likely won’t suit thicker shafts
– Entry point itself is boring
– Promo shots show the material as tanned but it’s not. An international outrage for sure

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