Review: The Scent of a School Girl’s Fart

Product: The Scent of a School Girl’s Fart (女子校生のおならの匂い)
Manufacturer: Tamatoys
Retailers: otonaJP* / KimochiiShop / Kanojo Toys* / J-List*

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Wow, fuck me! What’s over there in that bizarrely neat and tidy looking collection of garbage (on the one day I attempted to find a normal stinky bin-like bin?)

Could it be…

Why yes, it’s The Scent of a School Girl’s Fart by Tamatoys in its natural habitat! How absolutely fascinating.

Now look, good. Cool. I’m not gonna dump ass on this product existing – if farts get you cummin’ up a storm then whatever hey – but in the wildly unpredictable world of smell fetish spray bottles rarely matching their promised nostril-filling dream, I figured The Scent of a School Girl’s Fart would be QUITE EASY to guess for a change.

Like, I’m pretty sure the world’s top gassy sulfur-scientists mastered this art decades ago with the existence of fart bombs.

Wait, poot?

POOT?!

But I can already tell you one thing – I’d rather huff an entire fucking box of fart bombs than spray this thing anywhere near my face ever again.

At worst/best, I was genuinely just expecting The Scent of a School Girl’s Fart to smell like rotten eggs or something. I dunno man. It’s a fart, you know? But nah. NAH. First time I sprayed the tiiiiiniest dose on my hand and immediately dry-heaved.

This scent is absurdly strong from the get-go, and it smells like… garbage bin juice? GARBAGE BIN JUICE. Probably the LAST THING I expected here. You ever seen the forbidden death mix of various liquids pooling at the bottom of a bin whilst out and about? Havin’ a gay old time at the park when suddenly a foul pool of bin juice rears its ugly head, inching closer to your shoes.

You’ve probably most certainly smelt it at the very least.

Just think, maybe someone tossed in a carton of strawberry milk and it slowly strained through several days worth of decaying food scraps, sloppy dog shit that’d leaked out of their bags and at least three unreported body parts. That all morphs together at the bottom.

And Tamatoys simply scooped that all up and bottled it.

Bam (poot) – The Scent of a School Girl’s Fart.

It’s rather horrendous. If I owned a monocle I’d put that sucker in, squint real good and then pop it right back off again. “My word” I’d bellow, chortling with absolute offense.

Forget the specific parameters of being exclusive to an anime school girl’s bowels; if ANYONE’S farts actually smell like this then you need urgent medical attention, I’m sorry. Something just ain’t right up there.

On the plus side (?), that initial shock value smell fades kinda quick. From there it settles into the dull illusion of a bowl of fruit. That got tossed into a garden. And sat in the sun for a few days.

This tends to linger for a fairly absurd amount of time, so you might want to consider what exactly you’re spraying it on. Not quite as deadly as the first blast, but also nothing like a fart whatsoever. I think.

“Bottle of liquid fart does not smell like fart”, local man proclaims. I’m putting this review on my resume.

Then again, I’m certainly not an authority on school girl farts. Perhaps Tamatoys really did nail it? Do school girls let it rip (Beyblade style) and stink up the classroom like a clump of mushy bananas dipped in seven-month-old yogurt encrusted over a ham sandwich?

Boy. I sure hope not.

If you’re just after some rancid bin smell to get off to, there’s probably at least ninety thousand alternatives that’d be cheaper and easier to obtain than importing a bottle of The Scent of a School Girl’s Fart from Japan. But can you really put a price on the novelty of owning such a thing?

Y-yes. About $25 after shipping. 🙁

The Scent of a School Girl’s Fart

+

– GARBAGE
– BIN
– JUICE

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