TENGA’s rocket is now complete

When the masturbation giants at TENGA announced they were hoping to launch a ‘love rocket’ into space earlier this year, I kinda feel like most outlets thought they were just havin’ a bit of a pre-cum giggle, but no. Nah bro. They were completely fucking serious.

Now just six months later, the company has kinda casually revealed their joint project with upstart space development studio Interstellar Technologies – home of ‘affordable space launch services’ – is now complete and ready to go.

So what exactly is the point of this whole endeavour? Well, for the most part TENGA’s CEO Koichi Matsumoto (as seen in the middle above) has always just been fascinated with space. Really. Long before he somehow got involved with disposable masturbation holes, he’s always wanted to blast off in a more meaningful (?) sense.

In keeping with the theme, TENGA’s rocket project will be equipped with prototype wank cups in the vague hope of gathering data for an onahole which will be ‘compatible with space’.

Basically, TENGA legitimately hopes to develop an eventual Space TENGA product. Because shit, who knows – perhaps we’ll all be floating around in space for roughly fifteen seconds in the future and need to splurt out a quick load before death.

Aside from this crucial goal, the TENGA rocket will also contain the ‘hopes and dreams’ of 1,000 people on board (each within their own TENGA Egg). Some of these messages have already been gathered from project staff members and those who backed the project’s brief crowdfunding effort earlier this year.

A Twitter campaign will follow, allowing anyone to hopefully have their message randomly chosen. We can only hope TENGA will actually reveal some of these later on, because I’m sure they’ll all be absolutely safe for work.

Finally, TENGA’s including their space mascot figure thing on-board as the rocket’s pilot, purely because they want to see if he’ll make it back in one piece. Probably the most important aspect of the mission.

The rocket is due to launch towards the end of this year, although a final date has yet to be announced. Planned to blast off from Hokkaido, TENGA hopes for it to reach the boundaries of space at 100 kilometres before eventually getting flaccid and drifting safely back to Earth.

All the best! Once the date is set I reckon we should all set our watches to shoot a load in time with its launch. J-just for laugh, you know.