Review: Super Limited Express Rail Girl

Product: Super Limited Express Rail Girl (超スペシャルくぱレールガール)
Manufacturer: EXE Japan / Outvision
Measurements: length – 16cm, weight – 435g
Retailers: otonaJP* / KanojoToys*

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

“Attention passengers on platform four, the next train to BIG CUM TOWN has been delayed due to a small, fleshy rubber object on the track. Please be advised all lines will be cancelled until further notice while staff thoroughly investigate the issue”.

Only a few would reach their destination of BIG CUM TOWN that day. A dark moment for their economy that would have them officially renamed to FAIRLY AVERAGE CUM TOWN for the remaining weekend. The astronomical costs involved in such a drastic, temporary move would send the entire country spiralling into a gigantic whirlpool and get spat out the other side of the planet, forever hurtling into space.

Not even the biggest cums could be heard out there.

This is Super Limited Express Rail Girl by EXE, which is based around a cute train station attendant who appears to help passengers by showing off her big tits while saluting in response to crucial questions like “where is the bathroom?” and “can you help my dad? He fell on the tracks. Miss? MISS PLEASE, HELLO? THE TRAIN IS COMING AND SO AM I”.

Or maybe it’s themed around an actual train itself? I don’t fucking know man. Apparently the tunnel design is supposed to simulate passing through different stations on your masturbation journey? Time to densha de groooooooow.

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

I’m so glad the little sample packets of EXCELLENT lube are still a thing. To this day I’ve never seen an actual full-sized retail bottle of it. Perhaps nobody can handle drinking too much of it in one go.

Are those little line things meant to be breasts? Where did they GO? Did she get run over by the train? What a crisis. This might just be the most amount of question marks I’ve littered a review with already. Maybe?

Either way, this isn’t a particularly interesting looking design at first glance. You can very easily spruce things up though, it’s fine.

Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.

Man, look how fucking wrinkled that thumb is. Absolute nuclear prune-level. But while the chest is a bit whatever, luckily EXE have given Super Limited Express Rail Girl’s opening some extra attention.

Those patented rubber vagina lips are pretty thick and squishy, hiding a recessed entry point.

There’s even a little bit of ribbed texture-work going on before you even hit the main tunnel, which got me excited! Excited to have a bit of a wank! I love when onaholes have these thick openings you have to fumble into. Just slap some bubblegum over a hole and I’d probably be keen.

Aside from that, the onahole feels nice to hold and there’s some decent heft to it at 435g. My one was EXTREMELY sweaty upon its initial unboxing, but I’ll put that down to the fact that I’ve had this one sitting around for about a bloody year now in ten thousand degree heat (with a slight dip to nine thousand during winter).

– Feeling –

So yeah, that initial sensation is about as nice as I’d anticipated. The lips sometimes get jammed up against your head and create the most ineffective barrier ever; it’s good fun for about two seconds or so!

Unfortunately though, once you actually enter the proper tunnel you’ll be met with… not much of anything really. There’s VERY minimal stimulation going on, and it turns out EXE have basically just laced it with a repeating design to look like an actual train track. That’s funny and cool, but ultimately kinda sucks shit when a penis is attempting to rail it.

I mean, that’s also true in regards to an actual train track, but you know.

The ribbing is in a weird spot where it isn’t thin or thick enough to leave any kind of impression whatsoever, so the overall sensation just feels like dull mush with each thrust. Probably like getting 200 bee stings on your hand and then gripping onto your dick for dear life, but with less risk of it being your last orgasm.

Even just a simple choke point would have probably done wonders here, but nah – the tunnel is exactly the same the whole way through.

THAT SAID, I did find myself enjoying Super Limited Express Rail Girl as a really, really slow burn. Like the kind of wank you have when casually multi-tasking online or whatever. Not quite entirely dedicated yet still remaining erect enough to just keep stroking away while refreshing your subscription tab on YouTube.

Really stretching that dopamine hit to its absolute limit and all that.

This salmon roll has got me acting up.

Like, there’s enough padding around the tunnel itself to make this pretty comfortable. But it’s really nothing special, and I’m not sure EXE were going for ‘something you’ll eventually cum with after a while’.

Also I found that finishing right into the end zone while yanking the onahole down over my head would often result in cum just immediately getting blasted across my shaft and out the entrance. Didn’t happen every time, but it was often enough to be somewhat annoying and mystifying.

‘Annoying and mystifying’ – The New York Times reviewing a packet of sliced cheese found on the floor.

– Cleaning – 

No issues here. Super Limited Express Rail Girl is plenty flexible and the tunnel design is ultra basic, so you can flip it inside out while cleaning without much worry. I sorta figured the material might get sticky over time, but so far that hasn’t been the case.

But yeah, should be totally fine in regards to durability.

– Summary –

It’s cool that EXE wanted the tunnel design to resemble a train trip or something, but the main issue here is that they’ve clearly based it on the average Japanese train experience. Smooth, uneventful, and everyone desperately avoids eye contact when you’ve got your cock floppin’ out.

What they really needed is to study is the Australian railway, or like a subway track in America. Bumpy, slow, filled with broken glass and various smells, possibly never arrives at destination. Now that’d be a good time!

No wait, no it wouldn’t.

Super Limited Express Rail Girl

+ Fun entry point
+ Easy to clean
+ Might be decent for really mindless wanks when you’re sort of just half-heartedly masturbating for the hell of it

– Extremely dull, repetitive tunnel design
– Cramped end zone
– Too squishy to deliver any real tightness

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