Review: ZOMBIE-TCH! Anal Fuck

Product: ZOMBIE-TCH! Anal Fuck
Manufacturer: GEEBA
Measurements: length – 16cm, weight – 560g
Retailers: Anime Dakimakura Pillow (code ADP-MONKEY for 10% off)

– This product was provided by Anime Dakimakura Pillow for masturbation review purposes

So a while ago the folks at Anime Dakimakura Pillow got in touch and asked if I’d like to check out their range of monster girl themed onaholes, and I was like sure – I do enjoy putting my penis into various holes. A zombie’s anus though? Whew. Just try and pull me out of there.

Would it be like fucking a slightly soggy loaf of bread or something? The mystery was too intense, I had to know.

In regards to Anime Daki… hakuna matata Pillow (let’s just go with ADP) I’d sorta heard about this site before, but they’ve seemingly been making a huge push into sex toys lately. They have a bunch of onaholes from established brands like Ride Japan, Tamatoys and A-One Tokyo, but it was their world of laser-focused fetish blobs that really got me curious.

Stuff like this zombie arse, catgirl holes (complete with fur to grip onto), plant girls, Xenomorph-lookin’ blowjob things. These were all products I’d never seen, and eventually took me on a bit of an internet journey whilst looking up the manufacturer.

More on that later though hey, this is already too many words before a single jpg.

There we go, that’s better.

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

Firstly uh, I’m not sure why this photo came out so rancid looking. The box looks like it’s coated in four years worth of dust here, but that wasn’t the case! Maybe only three.

But yes, very barebones stuff in regards to packaging. Just a plain black cardboard box – which Australia Post used for some football – and the onahole itself (phew) wrapped up in a little bag. It’s discreet, at the very least.

This is mainly because GEEBA, the company who makes this, doesn’t actually attach any kind of official names to their products. They instead leave it up to various retailers to just do whatever. You can find this exact hole on Alibaba or AliExpress for example, where it’s called something catchy like ‘realistic animal beaver dog anus sex airplane male masturbator cup horse vagina go go gadget pussy erection’.

ADP have decided to rebrand these to more… normal (?!) sounding anime things, somehow. GEEBA may have very well designed this as some kind of hybrid dog-airplane thing, but slap on some (AI?) art of a Chinese hopping vampire and bam, sexy zombie anal!

Man, I will say, this is very pretty design. Kinda looks like something I’d find at a high-end arts and crafts market and the lady running the stall would be rambling about how it took seven months to polish such a rare, exotic seashell while I’m holding a kebab in each hand pretending to listen as boiling hot garlic sauce drips down my elbows.

There’s even a little sparkle effect which shows up a tad better on camera when wet, so these shots were taken right after I’d washed it.

Now that’s an asshole, jesus christ. I like how the entry is so tight it just creates a black void up close.

And yeah, so… ZOMBIE-TCH! Anal Fuck’s build is extremely dense with much thicker, harder material than most. That opening really doesn’t budge a whole lot, let alone the rest of the onahole. It does feel really nice to hold though – you can get a really tight grip going and barely make a dent.

– Feeling –

Fuck me, man. Make sure you smear plenty of lube around the opening, maybe even plop some on the head of your dick in advance. Getting inside ZOMBIE-TCH! Anal Fuck is not easy, and you might even need to tease the opening a tad to mentally prepare yourself.

I’ve never experienced an anal onahole THIS unforgivingly tight from the get-go. The first time I used this felt like my brain got fried.

Fighting your way inside genuinely does feel like you’re penetrating a ridiculously tight anus while the person on the receiving end has just seen a spider crawling over a ghost. Bloody thing clenches down so hard it was like my dick was turning into a 2D sprite.

And it was quite exciting!

Mostly because I think if I’d tried using this even just a month ago, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. My dick still hasn’t completely recovered from the lube incident earlier this year – and it very likely never will go back to 100% – but being able to crush it into a fine paste in here really showed how much progress I’d made.

Wow, masturbation!

Anyway, yeah nah; this onahole is pretty much death when you start out. The tunnel is narrow as fuck, filled with thick jagged ridges and designed to keep twisting your shaft. The end zone also manages to create an absurd vacuum chamber that’ll do its absolute best to prevent you pushing past a certain point for a good while.

I actually didn’t know what was going on the first time and assumed I’d hit the end of the tunnel way too early.

It wasn’t until I was about to cum and reached that final gibbon-mode point where your shaft swells a bit more and you feel the need to aggressively yank the onahole down harder that I finally broke through.

The sound alone was absolutely horrifying – an explosion of squelchy air being forced back out the entrance – but it also resulted in a confusing moment where my cum was instantly sucked out into the end chamber. I GENUINELY wasn’t even fucking sure if actually orgasmed or not, and even went to bed that night still questioning what the hell just happened.

I cannot believe an onahole actually managed to gaslight me.

– Cleaning –

GEEBA are rather vague about what their products consist of other than ‘food grade silicone safety’ 🤔, but wow does this thing dry fast. The outside basically rejects the concept of water completely – going back to being bone dry within seconds – but even the inner tunnel doesn’t take much effort after you’ve flushed out your mess.

The onahole is also thicker than pig shit and just about as invincible. I can see this lasting an extremely long time.

That material does get quite sticky after a few washes though. Nothing particularly annoying so far, but it may need to be dusted down with some cornflour/cornstarch over time to prevent it trying to fuse with your hand.

– Summary –

ZOMBIE-TCH! Anal Fuck is brutal to the point where it’s impossible to make a broad recommendation. The entry point alone is almost sadistic with its complete disinterest in actually stretching, and the tunnel is just relentless crushing stimulation that’ll try to reject your shaft with every single thrust.

This is basically an onahole that hates you, and that’s sorta great. Nice if you’re after something absurdly aggressive or potentially want to relive/experience fucking someone up the arse who’s way too nervous and clenches shut like a fucking garbage truck on your dick.

Almost as loud, too.

ZOMBIE-TCH! Anal Fuck

+ Stupidly tight and rough. If that’s something you’ve been after, then boy will this thing deliver
+ Very fancy visual design
+ Built like a brick shithouse. Will last an absolute eternity

– The opening point alone is way, WAY too unforgiving for basically anyone who isn’t actively seeking total dick destruction
– It can get awkwardly loud during use
– Price point is a bit extreme

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This review product was provided by Anime Dakimakura Pillow. They’ve also provided a custom coupon code ADP-MONKEY to save 10% off any sex toy-related order. Thanks again!