Review: Young Office Lady Morning Hangover Breath

Product: Young Office Lady Morning Hangover Breath
Manufacturer: 072Labo
Retailers: KanojoToys*

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Alright nah man, hold on. Jesus fuck. They’ve really got me in some existential crisis type stuff with this one. ‘Why the hell would anyone try to bottle bad breath of all things’ I thought to myself, almost breaking my mouse-clickin’ finger as I added it to my cart.

There’s no doubt been some UNIQUE smell fetish stuff over the years, but this one genuinely sounded like a parody based on Tamatoys’ early work when they were trying to secure hyper-niche product titles like ‘Smell of School Girl Who Works Part-Time at the Fish Market but Goes Home at 9pm and Plays Rakuga Kids on N64 All Night‘.

Not a real thing by the way; just a completely free suggestion.

Except Young Office Lady Morning Hangover Breath is by 072Labo, and they’ve actually just gone and captured/cursed exactly what the name suggests. Cool, I guess!

Clearly I’m in no position to judge whatever gets you cumming up a storm in the world of nostril hair majestically rustling in a breeze, but I kinda just went into this fully expecting it NOT to smell like bad breath. Usually this sorta stuff just defaults to the typical default smell-scam (?) of being an overpriced bottle of laundry liquid or cheap perfume.

But about ten seconds into the first spray with Young Office Lady Morning Hangover Breath… yeah, they’ve done it.

I immediately spiralled back in time to an old office job where our team leader would pull off some instant transmission shit and bark updates right behind our backs. His breath always crept around and stank like he’d just rat-chewed his way through a train station garbage bin and drank the forbidden juice within.

You don’t really forget a smell like that, clearly. Someone at 072Labo knows this too well.

I guess if I really had to describe this for scientific purposes in a very unique life and death situation, Young Office Lady Morning Hangover Breath kinda settles into something that smells like a damp dish cloth that’s been sitting in the sink for a few days, and a hint of rotten fruit which has somehow found itself festering in a big blob of freshly mowed-over dog shit.

This doesn’t seem to last too long though! After a few minutes it somehow mutates back into a more uh, traditional scent of bingo hall-approved grandma perfume before vanishing entirely. Good. Maybe.

Seems to be a bit of a common thing with 072Labo’s smell fetish stuff, which isn’t particularly amazing considering these bottles only contain a mere 8mL of liquid stink.

This cost me $21 AUD by the way.

🙁

A few days after trying this out for the first time, I woke up way too early one morning in a crazed state with an overwhelming sense of dread lingering through my bedroom. I swear I could fucking smell it again – Young Office Lady Morning Hangover Breath was somehow in the air.

Had I been cursed? Was I experiencing some kind of mental breakdown combined with a stroke as the spirit of a random young office lady breathed heavily in my face after a night of drinking bin juice?

Yes, probably.

But also nah. It turns out the cap on the bottle had somehow come loose, and most of the liquid had leaked all over a shelf in my wardrobe. I suppose I’m thankful for 072Labo really skimping on the liquid in this case.

This is all I have left now. Perhaps I will throw it in the garbage and fuel the circle of life in regards to Young Office Lady Morning Hangover Breath.

Young Office Lady Morning Hangover Breath

+ No shit, it really does smell like bad breath. Wait, yes shit then?
+ The box art is neat

– The scent fades quickly
– It’s absurdly expensive
– I think it might have soaked into my wallet

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