Review: Cocky Chimera MEATMILL Monster

Product: Cocky Chimera MEATMILL Monster
Manufacturer: GEEBA
Measurements: length – 18cm, weight – 600g
Retailers: Anime Dakimakura Pillow (use code ADP-MONKEY for 10% off)

– This product was provided by Anime Dakimakura Pillow for masturbation review purposes

First off, I love how the name of this onahole just kinda sounds like something you’d be trying to order at a burger joint in the early hours of the morning after like 47 too many beers.

“Yeah mate, gimmie a uuuuuhhh large, ah Cocky Chimera MEATMILL Monster meal”.

But oh no, you’ve actually just walked off a cliff into an active volcano and the employee you thought you were talking to was merely a novelty warning sign about how said burger establishment is located on the other side.

Fuckin’ whoops! Not again!

This is now the second product made by GEEBA that I’ve had the chance to experience, and I think I’m kinda… a fan? I dunno man. Surely we all ponder about being a handful of blades designed to spin around at some point in our lives.

GEEBA tend to focus on lots of monster themed onaholes, or uh, just straight up no-nonsense lookin’ recreations of stuff like a horse anus or what it’d be like to deepthroat a snake with less chance of dying than usual. Not exactly the sort of thing you’d see most retailers wanting to bother with.

As they’re typically just unnamed products designed to ship in black boxes, ADP tend to whack some AI generated images on their product listings and give ’em new titles.

Like last year, when I reviewed the ZOMBIE-TCH! Anal Fuck. In reality, GEEBA had designed that one to be some kinda like… dog’s asshole? ADP called it a zombie’s asshole instead, put some undead anime girl images on there and wow, problem solved forever.

Don’t worry about it! 100% big kawaii.

It’s essentially a somewhat more customs-friendly option than going through GEEBA’s official AliExpress storefront where everything is given a string of keywords that’d likely give several people a stroke during the shipping process before you could even get a chance to.

Whatever hey.

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

The onahole was covered in what looked like McMuffin crumbs out of the box, but that’s okay. If I was packing these things all day long I’d also like to be eating McMuffins whilst doing so.

So yeah, there’s a nicely detailed dick (lightning vein and all) running on the underside, plus a tail on the top. I suppose that’s close enough to being a cocky chimera?

Don’t chimeras have like snakes for their tail though? And a few heads? And not being made of really hard rubber? What a crisis.

There’s also a fairly decent attempt at making some kinda visual fur effect on the exterior. Just like ten bajillion little lines cut in there, which does give it a bit of a unique texture. Feels nice enough to grip into.

Imagine eating 70 McMuffins with one hand while using a box cutter with the other to slash into a chunk of hard rubber all day. Fuck. Dream job.

Yep, that suuuure is a tiny lookin’ hole right there. Jesus, might as well just ship a bendy straw made of rubber with a picture of a disgruntled goblin pirate taunting something along the lines of “Aaarr, will ye penetrate me or penetrate thee?”

– Feeling –

PLEASE PUT LOTS OF LUBE AROUND THE ENTRANCE.

GENUINELY. SMEAR IT ALL AROUND. GET SOME ON YOUR HEAD TOO. THAT HEAD.

YOU WILL TURN YOUR DICK INTO A FLESH ACCORDION WITHOUT ENOUGH LUBE.

IT WILL PLAY HAUNTING MUSIC.

Once you’ve done that though… good to go! Getting into Cocky Chimera MEATMILL Monster is absolutely brutal. This material is hard as fuck and has about as much stretchability as a plank of wood doing pilates, but drenching it in lube will work.

The stimulation is instantly crushing, with deeply pronounced nubs beating the shit out of your shaft the entire way down.

It’s hard to tell from the limited promo shots (and even my own photos), but the onahole is curved slightly. Depending on the way you’re holding it you’ll get a heavier sensation grinding along the top or bottom. I mostly stick to having the tail facing me as I wank, as it feels like a heavier cluster of textures really work into the underside of my cock and massage the frenulum.

Massage in the sense of digging your way to the centre of the Earth using only your penis as a shovel and then fucking a rock golem’s big purple sparkly amethyst asshole, but you know.

See, the plan here was to give it some legs, but all I had were old stupid glue sticks and it fell down immediately. Then I went to bed.

As if things weren’t difficult enough, Cocky Chimera MEATMILL Monster has a massive choke point right before the end chamber which takes a while to ease up as you’re stroking away. It may seem like a complete barrier for a while unless you’re going in with complete aggression from the get-go.

And that’s kinda what the onahole excels at. If you’re REALLY fucking brain-meltingly horny to the point where you need to roughly fuck a hole hard and fast, this’ll force the cum right out of your soul through pure abuse.

Definitely not something you should be using too often though.

lol what the hell is this bloody promo image?

– Cleaning –

Like the previous death-roll-hole I’d tried from GEEBA, keeping Cocky Chimera MEATMILL Monster clean and dry is way easier than expected.

Ram a microfibre cloth inside with all your might after flushing out your cum and that’ll basically do. This life hack also works for a lot of things which aren’t the onahole. But yeah, the tunnel doesn’t seem to trap much moisture and the outside dries super quick.

Given that it could likely survive a nuclear blast conceived by farting cockroaches who already survived an existing nuclear blast, durability is also good. No real worries here.

Aside from nuclear blasts I suppose.

– Summary –

Not quite as scary as ZOMBIE-TCH! Anal Fuck’s ability to flatten a penis into a 2D sprite, but this is still a very challenging onahole. The material is hard all the way through which results in a constant high level of tight, aggressive stimulation with a stubborn refusal to get easier over time.

It’s great when you wanna get stupid and wank with something that’ll finish you off quick through pure crushing, but all you have laying around is this onahole.

Gotta say though, I’ve really enjoyed it for a few raging morning wood sessions where my cock is the only part of my body fully awake. It’s just not something I’d want to be wanking with too often.

Cocky Chimera MEATMILL Monster

+ The fleshy penis and tail embedded into its exterior feel nice and squishy in your hand (?!)
+ Extremely tight, punishing stimulation if that’s what you’re lookin’ for
+ If you made a suit out of these you’d basically be invincible and somewhat intimidating

– Very seriously may cause damage if you don’t DROWN the entrance in lube
– Not recommended whatsoever if you have a sensitive head
– If your cock is extra girthy there’s no way your meat monster will be compatible with this meatmill monster

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This review product was provided by Anime Dakimakura Pillow. They’ve provided a custom coupon code ADP-MONKEY to save 10% off any sex toy order. Thanks again.