Get in touch!
Please feel free to contact me if you’ve got any questions or just need some general onahole advice. I’ll try my best to help out! Everything will remain confidential, so don’t be worried if you think something might be too weird or embarrassing.
Chuck me an email at infernalmonkey@gmail.com or you can use the contact form below!
Business enquiries? Please note this blog doesn’t run any paid guest articles, but if you’d like to buy banner space (static images only) or send any review products, please hit me up and we can work out the details.
Cheers everyone,
Lance (Infernal Monkey)
MILHOOOOUSE!!!
TEEEELLL BART TO COME HOOOOOOOMEEE!
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CoolMST is actually pretty damn awesome. They have great prices and free shipping over $70. If you live in California (as I do) these guys are the ones to go with. I bought my first onahole from them and plan on getting many more too!
Hey did not want to bog your inbox down so I just wanted to leave this here and bog this down XD. Just wanted to say thanks for having this awesome and hilarious blog. I used to read onaholereview but got sick of the condescending uppity way they review….no scratch that….OPINIONATE productsm well that and most of their GOOD opinions sound too scripted and paid for. Your reviews are hilarious and have your opinions but at least even on crap products you still give a detailed bit on the whole product no matter what, while onahole review just nitpicks and give good reviews by fetish bias.(yes I know they advertise on your blog but frankly my dear I dont give a damn XD) You have got to be the only onahole reviewer I have read and actually enjoy reading. (okay I will stop ass kissing now)
Hey, thanks (z)man! I really appreciate it.
When I first started doing this, I wanted it to be as different as humanly possible to any other sex toy review blog. So it’s… kind of mutated into a jumbled mess of off-topic paragraphs and stories mixed with a few actual helpful sentences about each onahole. I’m glad people enjoy it though, haha. I love trying to think of ways to make each review entertaining to read.
Also yeah, personally I try and keep fetish bias stuff to a minimum. I know everyone has their preferences, but the onahole’s theme doesn’t matter at all if the product itself is shit. =p
Hey there lance, love the lengthy in depth (pun intended) reviews!
I’m currently a brain dead know nothing when it comes to setting up a website or a blog and wanted to propose a businessy kind of deal with you, I’m not looking to make any money off of you, just looking for a platform to share my reviews that isn’t going to scam me (again 🙁 //) I am kind of obsessed with adult products and own several different products already, 8 to be exact. I am open minded and want to share my experiences with the products I have purchased in the hopes of becoming sponsored by different product companies in order to receive discounts or free products for honest reviews.
I am currently saving up to invest in a full size “4.59 ft” love doll, this I will have to pay for in full no sponsors : . (
As a result of this I want to share my experience and give helpful information and tips to people considering products big or small, cheap or spendy so that they can make an informed decision instead of a “horned” one if you get my drift.
Please feel free to contact me, you should be able to see my email when I leave this comment and I am going to reach out to you via gmail.
I hope to hear back from you and to be able to form some sort of partnership or sub blog contract through you… or whatever the proper term would be.
Can’t wait to conversate!
Hi Infernal Monkey,
I understand that writing reviews of products is a way to get your hands on the latest and greatest ones. I’m already a writer, but not a sex blogger, and so I’m wondering how to participate in the product-reviewing community and receive product in the process. Of course, I don’t even dream of outdoing you, there’s no competition. But if you could provide these pointers I’d be much obliged.
—Kehu
Hi,
Thanks for the blog – really fun to read and lots of info!
A quick question: do you import most of your stuff?
I’m from Australia and am planning to import but unsure if packaging should be removed. I rather like packaging, so want to keep it if possible, but know that laws here, particularly for importation, is ridiculously strict. I suppose it does depend on the art – I’d say most of mine should be fairly mild. Virgin Age Admission is probably the most objectionable on my list.
considering most of his provided by links are from japanese sites and he mentions customs yes he has most imported. Considering he has had loli art on boxes I can’t imagine it being too bad. Canada and the uk doesnt even allow loli art on boxes. If its normal stuff I doubt your customs would do anything but have a chuckle.
I see. Unfortunately, Australia isn’t far behind, and tends to look up to the UK/US for inspiration on (dumb) laws. Loli hentai is definitely illegal, and even parody drawings of The Simpsons is considered child pornography: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_pornography_laws_in_Australia
The US doesnt give a crap about loli for the most part. Canadians and such like to act like we are stricter than they are, but in reality customs in the usa is extremely lenient. Especially for imports from japan. The only loli, thats TECHNICALLY illegal in the us is photo realistic stuff. It can be somewhat realistic just not super realistic. Other than that the usa just doesn’t care since its a frickin cartoon. If theres an onahole with a real underage girl on it then yeah they would lock your ass up XD
The US is much better in that regard, where the Constitution helps protect certain forms of speech/art. However, the laws probably aren’t as straight forward as you think: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_status_of_drawn_pornography_depicting_minors#United_States
https://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/01/07/20-years-for-loli-manga-victims-dont-have-to-exist/
But otherwise, I’d agree with what you said, and imagine that imports shouldn’t be a problem.
Its been a while since my last comment here and I did end up with 2 different 5ft dolls, one a very *t h i c c* doll and the other an 18 year old 5ft tall chinese gymnast… lol!
I have also purchased a few different toys, one being the i cup megatits on amazon, i now own 2 of these, one normal version and one white.
Im going to be getting akaris huge breast ll from kanojo toys as i cant find them anywhere else, also the oeuchi rocket breasts or something like that as well and a few others.
I now have 21 toys not including my 2 full size dolls or my 3 torso dolls.
I do hope you’re ok, I noticed you been awol from my gmail notifications for a bit and hope everything is alright.
I enjoy your blog and owe you credit for my ever growing collection of products, i never did start a blog or anything, i got into a heavy equipment operators apprenticeship.
Now i get to play with big toys and even bigger toys 🙂
I really do hope you’re just taking a break, i dont need an explanation, i just want you to know some of us care about your well being, (can)t wait for your next review!
Hey Shawn! Thanks mate. Yeah, just needed to take a bit of a break for a while! Probably did me good to not think about onaholes non-stop for a change haha.
Congrats on the apprenticeship! That’s awesome. 🙂 Those dolls sound amazing too, lucky! Especially the thicc girl~
CONTASCT
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