Did you know May is unofficially the official masturbation month? Seriously. We all know it’s really every month, but those fat cats on Wall Street apparently nailed it down to May. And shit, that’s alright.
Competition
Dagashi competition winner!
Header image: Ekakibito
In the very loosest of loose competition tie-in ideas spawned from the Dagashi Kashi onahole review, I… I ended up eating a few of the things purchased for this prize and having to replace them. So it’s really about time I announce a winner. Please get these snacks out of my room.
The question? Which candy product would you masturbate with and why? Only the dumbest best for competition questions around here, I tell ya.
Win an authentic Australian ‘dagashi’ prize pack!
And by authentic, I mean I went to the supermarket over the road and just picked up some random junk food that mostly isn’t even candy! All this shit could be yours!
Win an onahole manga and some dodgy eroge games!
A few months back Toy’s Heart put together a promotional manga for the Los Angeles Anime Expo, and it was kind of a big deal. Kind of sort of as far as onahole-related stuff goes, anyway. I mean, this thing was commissioned exclusively for an American anime convention and distributed at the J-List booth. Guys! Fuck, I dunno. It just still kind of blows my mind.
Even more so that Toy’s Heart asked if they could link to some of my reviews in it. Holy shit, are you kidding? You havin’ a giggle? I’d never felt more worthwhile than a sex toy company actually wanting to feature my long-winded word jumbles which essentially amount to ‘yeah this thing is alright to cum into’. Completely serious.
Anyway, being on the other side of the world and everything, I was pretty keen to get my hands on a copy of the finished manga. So a few weeks later Toy’s Heart kindly sent one over, and by one I mean like twenty billion.
La Bocca Della Verita competition winner ahoy
Hoooo-leeeey crap, I seriously wasn’t expecting such a huge response to this! Like maybe five entries or something, but no – there was even more than six! But yeah, if you missed it (because the blog moves at such a blinding snail’s pace and everything) there was a competition to win a brand new La Bocca Della Verita onahole and a little bag of goodies. I kinda… worded it weirdly in the initial write-up I think, because a few people asked me if the onahole was used. °ヘ°
The idea was to come up with an onahole design, and jesus you guys delivered. I laughed, I cried, I came. Incredible stuff. Huge thanks to everyone who entered! Kinda sad now I don’t really have any runner-up prizes or anything, but I’ll be better prepared next time. Probably a handful of Moisty lube bottles and foam cups, who knows.
Images have been automatically resized, click ’em to show full resolution.
Competition time! Win a La Bocca Della Verita onahole
Let’s do a thing where you can maybe win another thing! Man, I’ve wanted to hold some sort of competition on here for ages, but very valid reasons which totally aren’t just because I’m cheap and lazy have prevented that until now. Honest.
But yeah, no special occasion here. It’s just I decided to order a new La Bocca Della Verita onahole to replace my old one – because it was pretty much worn the fuck out at this point – and figured ‘why not get two?’ So I did. Wow, what a magical story. Sony have already agreed to a movie adaptation – Adam Sandler will play every role.
Anyway, look at this hot corner-of-the-desk photo action.