– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links
Oh man, surely you’re in for some fun when a retail listing puts ‘vacuum warning’ ahead of the onahole’s actual name, while another mentions ‘super vacuum’ in the description a few times. I never knew until now just how much I’ve dreamed of masturbating with some kind of anthropomorphic vacuum cleaner who’s also a witch. Then when we’re done, they zoom off out the window – cackling at MAXIMUM SUCTION POWER SETTING, VRRRROOOOO – with their own chrome-polished rod in place of a traditional broom.
That’s not quite what this onahole is about, but sure, close enough. A Witch’s Temptation from Toy’s Heart appears to have been designed around the idea of locking your dick inside with the force of a thousand majestic bears playing tug of war.
Hrrrnnggg, those stockings and boots. Wait, yeah, the onahole! That insert can barely contain its sheer siz- hang on. HANG ON. WHOA. Is that the fucking sorting hat? Is this character Hagrid? Hagrid confirmed for Brawl. What a megaton.
Measuring in at a total length of 18.5cm, A Witch’s Temptation is pretty big compared to most handheld toys. It also weighs about 600g which is almost double the average product. This is an onahole you could really pound some serious meat with; like actually tenderize a chunk of chicken for delicious schnitzel dinner.
It’s so bulky the cardboard tray got squished a few seconds after I plopped the onahole on top.
Alrighty, so A Witch’s Temptation is made from ‘Safe Skin’ material – and being so heavily padded – feels like the sort of thing which will last for ages. There’s some nice textured bumps on the outside where your hand’s going to tightly grip, and yeah. Quality stuff so far. You’d kinda hope so though, given the equally massive price tag (anywhere from $60 to $80 depending on the retailer).
I was really keen on seeing if this onahole would rip my penis clean off and eventually suck my entire body into its abyss the instant an erection got anywhere near the hole, so here we go!
That almost looks like a cricket ball at the end.
Popping myself in there, the first thing I noticed was uh, how loud the onahole is. Bit of a noticeable sloppy slappin’ noise going on in here. Just continuously whistle, cough and clear your throat over the top of it if your walls are paper thin. Nobody will suspect anything other than some sort of mental breakdown.
The internal structure is essentially a straight tunnel filled with criss-crossing ribs, but there’s enough variety in them to keep things exciting. Near the start you’ll slide up against a section of little teeth (part II in that diagram) which are fan-fucking-tastic on the underside of your head. And thanks to the walls being so insanely thick, you can really press down hard without… knowing your hand is there, kind of.
Towards the back there’s a tangled arch of blissful feedback which slows things down right before hitting the vacuum chamber goal. This part clings on nicely and makes it feel like you’re really poppin’ into the opening each time. But as for the actual suction effect? Eeeehhh. It’s okay. It’ll hang on, but I was really expecting more given all the tornado warnings beforehand.
I’ve used A Witch’s Temptation a few times now, but maybe the vacuum chamber will just click with me one night or something? I don’t know. Onaholes can be random like that.
True story though, one time I didn’t make sure to push the air out of it before diving straight in. Lubed the hole up, shoved my dick in and BAM, there was a hissing noise followed by the lube suddenly squirting right back out all over my leg. I just sat there, in a permanent state of “oh”. It was the most exciting thing to happen in my bedroom since that time I accidentally sat on a bag of chips.
So yes, the vacuum chamber means business when it wants to.
Overall, A Witch’s Temptation is a solid wank. I just didn’t find it to be anything too special, and the high price point makes this a tad difficult to recommend. But you are paying for the luxury of a fairly large onahole compared to most – and it’ll likely survive until the end of time. Maaaaybe if you’re particularly well endowed and haven’t had much luck with other masturbation toys (or you got fooled by Trick Girl), this might be worth checking out.
Final score: Somewhere along the line, when thinking about witches (as you do), that one from the old Looney Tunes cartoons appeared in my mind and oh no please send help.
This product was provided by Toy’s Heart for
masturbation review purposes.