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masturbation review purposes
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BELLY. BUTTON. SEX. Can we all just take a moment to appreciate how nonchalantly fucked in the head some onahole ideas have gotten lately? It’s really wonderful. Because in this, the eternal year of Luigi, why not offer something a tad different to the slew of vague vaginas out there?
Shit. Just recently we’ve even had one literally about penetrating the ear canal to reach the inner depths of brain territory.
But it isn’t exactly a new thing, as A-One Tokyo themselves kicked off this bizarre trend of turning any body part into a dick sleeve back in early 2014 with the launch of Nipple Fucker – only to be shortly followed by Pee Hole Fucker.
Now the original mad lads at A-One are back, now tossing Hesokan Navel Fucker into the mix. I appreciate the no-nonsense naming scheme they’ve got going, and the idea makes sense. After all, apparently ‘belly button’ is one of the top fetish searches on Google?
Sure, hey. It’s technically a hole of some sort.
“Everyone on Yahoo Answers said this is a guaranteed way to get pregnant”
The box art for Navel Fucker (by Ohigetan) is ridiculously well done, and I’m kinda thankful it didn’t get all extreme. Ever see that Ren & Stimpy episode where Stimpy spends all day putting shit in his bellybutton like forks and pencils? Still makes my toes curl, man.
Welp, let’s masturbate!
A-One include a generous bottle of lube which is great, and it’s even custom scented™.
Considering they did the same with Nipple Fucker (breast milk scented lube) and Pee Hole Fucker (urine scented lube) that prospect left me squinting up at the clouds. What smell could they possibly go with here?
Ye- no! At best there’s just a hint of shampoo, as if someone left shampoo in their bellybutton for a rainy day only to lose it all the moment that rainy day arrived. The consistency is a tad too runny for my liking but eh. Not bad.
I like how they tease you with a vagina and arse, yet they’re just for decoration. Like a dangerous game of guessing which candy cane on the tree is actually edible and not just some plastic ornament. Quite possibly A-One Tokyo’s exact inspiration.
But this isn’t called Fancy Three-Holes Variety Fucker, it’s Navel Fucker. Fuck that navel!
A-One have even provided this handy guide.
Now, I was actually really quite excited about trying this one due to the unique position more than anything. Opening up the navel slit thing was clumsy, but with enough slipping and sliding my dick found its way inside.
And maybe staring down at a little rubber bellybutton being stretched wide open was playing tricks with my mind, but at first this felt completely different to any other onahole. Navel Fucker was slowly sucking me inside with an impossible amount of strength; just kinda absorbing my shaft.
Someone’s probably died by trying to have sex with quicksand, and I expect this is a fairly accurate recreation.
It’s oddly difficult to find any decent promo shots of the internal design, but this meaty drawing does the trick.
Navel Fucker’s tunnel immediately angles you down, only to sharply rise back up. This ends up creating a huge hit of thick, suffocating pressure right off the bat. It’s fun! Especially as a large part of the onahole itself will physically be pressing against your balls.
Before long, the sheer overwhelming sense of tightness really got me going. I began to pull down with more force at a faster rate, until finally that last swell started pulsing through my shaft. I knew I was about to finish up any second no-DELFATED SLOPPY POP NOISE.
Um. Pretty sure I didn’t just cum, so what the fuck was that?
Fumbling for my phone mid-masturbation, this bit had appeared on top of Navel Fucker. It’s… really not supposed to do that.
The rubber chunk had pretty much wormed its way out in a disturbing way; locking my impending orgasm into a state of delay.
For a second or two.
Now I know you’re definitely not supposed to see your own mess. So yeah, Navel Fucker broke on the first go. I suppose the onahole’s intense pressure had to go somewhere. It just so happened to be right through a wall of rubber.
What a shame.
Anyway that damage basically wrecked it completely – making the whole review process a tad difficult. Going back to a second time (yes), the onahole now felt like a loose mess. Navel Fucker’s in the bin now. RIP.
This might have just been a rare factory defect, and I was enjoying it a whole heap before it ripped. But who knows. Maybe the quality is just really shit.
If anything, Navel Fucker is probably accurate to the risks of fucking a someone’s actual bellybutton.
Hesokan Navel Fucker
+ Conversation starter
+ Tunnel tugs you inside with a massive amount of pressure, *feels* like you’re somewhere you shouldn’t be. Fits the theme perfectly
+ Includes a nice bottle of lube
– It fuckin’ broke the first time I used it