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Could you imagine if Colonel Sanders had lost his secret recipe for shoving 11 herbs and spices up a chicken’s arse and tried to replace it with something different? Like, not even remotely similar to the previous effort. KFC restaurants everywhere suddenly selling… I dunno, ham sandwiches topped with sand and detergent. Playin’ it off like nothing happened.
That’s pretty much what seems to have happened with Tamatoys’ ‘armpit in a bottle’ creation from a few years back. They had a good thing going with Real Scent of Girl: Student Armpit, only to discontinue it out of nowhere.
Niche demand from underarm enthusiasts everywhere (dozens_of_us.gif) was still going strong though, and back then Tamatoys had no competition in the elusive smell fetish industry.
It got to the point where retailers like NLS jacked up the price for remaining stock to about forty-fucking-dollars (and still managed to sell them), while no effort was made to bring the product back.
What a very important crisis for sure.
Now over two years later, newcomer OSC did a reasonable attempt at filling the gap with Scent of a Classmate’s Armpit, but I had a feeling Tamatoys would likely respond by finally re-releasing their combination of deadly chemicals.
And suuuure enough, the next month Tamatoys announced Smell of School Girl’s Armpit Sweat.
But it’s not even close to the original version. What the hell happened?
This abomination smells like someone just jammed a chunk of foam up your nose – which was floating in a busted urinal for hours – and set fire to it.
Just the tiniest drop of Smell of School Girl’s Armpit Sweat is TOO MUCH. It’s absurdly powerful, hitting with a sharp, eye-watering high as if you’ve been sat on by a bus full of chain-smoking grandmas out for their weekly shop. Just think about inhaling all that perfume in a single gasp for air as they reach for their handbags, pulling out… yep, BURNING PISS FOAM.
Who even buys that. Who carries around soggy foam. A bus full of grandmas, that’s who.
Honestly, it’s actually very similar to Tamatoys’ own Scent of School Girl’s Shoes. It could be the exact same mixture of shit for all I care, just even stronger.
The problem is that doesn’t work here at all. When I think armpit sweat it usually doesn’t involve a pair of well-worn shoes. I dunno what I think at the best of times, but it’s definitely not that.
Considering the character featured on the packaging is a not-so-subtle Mumei from this year’s angsty zombie-train anime series Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress, perhaps Tamatoys were going for a literal take on what she’d smell like after fighting the show’s giant smoke monster things. In a pile of coal. During an explosion.
If so, that’d probably mask the smell of armpit sweat quite a bit I’d imagine. Eugh. What a disappointing heap of liquid trash.
But at least I have an excuse to toss in one of my favourite bits of Mumei fanart!
So for now if you’re really after a decent-ish bottle of armpit smell, OSC’s Scent of a Classmate’s Armpit is the way to go.
Better luck next time, Tamatoys! Hopefully it’s not in another three years from now.
Smell of School Girl’s Armpit Sweat
+ Bottle ensures only a few small drops will come out at once. Any more could be fatal
+ The artwork is okay, would show signs of life in pants again 10/10
– It smells like a combination of cigarettes, piss and cheap perfume. Everyone (probably?) processes smell fetish stuff differently, but for me this doesn’t scream ‘armpit sweat’ in the slightest