Product: Nikutai Kankei: Physical Relationship
Manufacturer: Magic Eyes
Measurements: 47.5 x 33 x 18 cm. Weight – 7.5 kg (16.5 lbs)
Retailers: Otona-Sekai / NLS / otonaJP / Kanojo Toys* / Motsu Toys / Toy Demon
Header image: Munashi Mujou
– This product was provided by Motsu Toys for
masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links
While thinking of a way to open this review, it dawned upon me that I’ve been writing about jerkin’ into miscellaneous rubber holes for a little over three years now. My parents are so proud. I wrote the first ‘review’ back in December 2013 purely as a one-off joke and now here I am with a bedroom that’d look and sound exactly like a bowl of jelly during an earthquake. Neat.
So I guess, you know, as we look forward to 2017 hopefully innovating the sex toy industry with virtual reality glasses you put your testicles in or whatever – thanks! Thanks for sticking around this shit-arse looking blog. It’s been a blast. Multiple blasts even. I promise one day I’ll change the banner or add actual important features. There’s always 2018, eh?
And on that note, huge thanks to the insanely generous folks at Motsu Toys for sending me this beast to review.
This is the Nikutai Kankei: Physical Relationship from Magic Eyes (let’s just refer to it as Physical Relationship from here on out), and it’s by far the largest onahole I’ve ever tried. Nothing else has even come close; not unless I stack everything else together and drill a hole through the middle. STAY TUNED.
But really, here’s a better sense of scale.
Yup, Physical Relationship is a full-on torso weighing in at a whopping 7.5kg.
As far as these things go, Magic Eyes have done their best to keep costs down compared to similar products, but it’s still a VERY SERIOUS investment for your dick.
Oh right! In a monumental event, Magic Eyes even included a decent amount of lube with this product!
I thought for sure they’d be cheeky cunts and just chuck in a handful of their sample packs, but nope. Proper bottle and everything here. Good stuff.
The real megaton.
Flopping Physical Relationship out of its coffin-like box and onto my bed (is this a date), let’s take a closer look at what we’ve got here.
Smell, that’s what. Just a quick note – there’s a heavy linger of oily burning rubber at first. Totally expected given the sheer size, although thankfully it fades after the first wash. I’d recommend giving the onahole a clean or dusting straight away if this is too distracting.
Aside from that, damn. The detail on Physical Relationship is stunning. My mashed potato camera can’t do this any justice, but Magic Eyes have captured every curve of whatever things a slightly chopped up human torso has.
Is it okay to be turned on by the indent of a spine? Because I think that’s a thing for me now. Help.
And those tits, holy fuck. They’re comically big and resemble implants done by circus clown doctors at the inflation factory, yet it’s hard to fault the visual lengths Magic Eyes have gone to.
Plus hey, big breasts let you get a satisfying grip. The material is so nice; I’ll take any chance to cop a feel of whatever. If the onahole didn’t require both hands to hold during use, you can bet I’d be grabbing one breast and one arse cheek at the same time like some kind of sexy battery charger.
(They’re also a good size to tit fuck, smear a bit of lube between them and it feels pretty cool!)
This is how nipples work, yeah? I’ve watched hentai. I know all the moves.
Here’s a nice rundown video of the Physical Relationship from Motsu Toys:
At this price point I think it’s only fair to expect at least two holes, so that’s exactly what you’ll get. Not one, not seven. Two. Comedy duo vag and butts are, taking up a surprisingly small amount of space given Physical Relationship’s overall size.
The vaginal tunnel runs about 10.5 cm, while the anal highway ends just slightly further up at 11cm. In official penis measurement terms that’s like four inches, which doesn’t sound like much at all compared to the average handheld onahole.
And yet… I found this didn’t matter in the slightest. When you’ve got close to eight fuckin’ kilos of pure sex toy violently slamming onto your crotch, you know Magic Eyes have done their homework to ensure everything still works. Or at least you hope they have. Which they… which they did. That about wraps up another review see you next week.
But before getting into it, how exactly do you go about doing so? Something this heavy will no doubt be a tad intimidating at first. I legit went limp merely pondering how to stick my penis inside a hole. Do I like, kneel on the bed or something like a crab? That isn’t even a common trait for crabs. Too stressful.
Magic Eyes officially suggest three different positions on the box itself which are pretty self-explanatory.
You could try getting low enough to fuck it from a flat surface (I found this approach was great as like, foreplay tit-fucking, but kneeling for too long kills my legs. I am old, please bury me with my onaholes).
Personally I enjoy the second and third options. Simply laying down on my back and bouncing Physical Relationship on my dick, or sitting in a chair and using it like an ‘ol standard onahole in gigantic form. Either way you’ll need a solid grip with both hands and decent upper arm strength.
7.5kg of constant strain doesn’t mess around. That’s like pumping several pans of lasagna.
Going for the vagina at first, I’m not ashamed to admit the first time I used Physical Relationship was for roughly two minutes or so. Okay maybe a touch ashamed. But still, this is on a completely different level to a one-handed dick sleeve.
As the walls clamped on and I felt the full weight press down, I pretty much came without even realising. And it was intense. Hip shaking stuff, as if I’d just gone several rounds instead of the time an average YouTube ad takes to play.
Eventually I was in for the long haul, and boy. What an insane work out. The tunnel does a great job tugging and sucking at your shaft every time you thrust, so it kind of feels like you’ve actually become one with the onahole. You’re not going anywhere as long as you’ve got that erection trapped inside.
Raw stimulation is fairly mild, but now you’ve got such a massive amount of force to compensate. Every time Physical Relationship came down it forced my dick to dig further into the onahole’s soft rubber interior. Total bliss.
By the end I’m just a sweaty panting mess. It’s just like when I go outside, except I don’t feel bad about cumming a few minutes later.
And then there’s the arse on Physical Relationship. This hole is tighter, but isn’t nearly as extreme during extended use. Magic Eyes didn’t really texture this one, resulting in a smooth crush on your shaft and little else.
I couldn’t see myself just getting off with the anal tunnel alone, although having it there is still fun to swap between. Especially when you turn the entire onahole over. Those butt cheeks look incredible slappin’ away.
A big reason Physical Relationship is so easy to use in an upright position (all things considered) is due to Magic Eyes’ smart use of a very basic bone structure.
There’s a slab of memory foam running up the spine, and while the onahole can still bend over on you mid-wank, this definitely helps stabilise things. Also might double as a pillow for a good night’s sleep.
Because the last thing you want is 7.5kg of rubber suddenly folding your dick into an origami swan.
I think this is also why Physical Relationship has a hole in its neck? Like, breathing room for the foam or something. It’s not there as means to flush out your mess (common with bigger onaholes) so I’m honestly not sure.
On a completely unrelated note, do not put your penis in the neck hole. Please. T-trust me.
Also wow, I love that it can even kinda wear a pair of panties!
Emphasises on ‘kinda’.
My degenerate smell fetish fantasies just enhanced tenfold. I’ve been spraying some of that Gal Pussy crap on there and man. MAN. Hard as fucking diamonds. This is a good relevant detail!
And then wh-
I call this piece ‘kicked out by landlord upon apartment inspection’.
So hey, yeah. Cleaning Physical Relationship might end up being a clumsy adventure. I can’t offer any easy suggestions how to go about it, but this is one onahole you need to take proper care of.
Wash the holes out thoroughly and make sure you’ve got space (somewhere) to store it when not in use. Even if it’s just the box it came in. Because as nice as the material is, it’ll still pick up dirt and dust like a wormhole.
Speaking of which, the colouring washed off the vagina after a while. I’m not too fussed, but for something that costs hundreds of dollars it suuure would have been nice if Magic Eyes had gone with a more permanent option. Hopefully this doesn’t happen to the nipples too!
If you squint you might even see the cat hair!
Aside from an average butt fuck, that’s about my only real complaint with Physical Relationship.
Every wank I’ve had with it so far has been pure bliss. You’ve gotta be in the right mindset to put in actual masturbation-related effort, but having this torso slamming down is a huge shockwave of pleasure every time. The way it looks, feels and even sounds as it makes contact is unbelievably hot.
Very, very pleased with Physical Relationship. Plenty of ways to use it (nearly all of them involve putting your dick inside) and hugely satisfying no matter how you’re going at it. You’re all invited to the wedding.
Plus just think of the muscle gain from lifting this thing every time you masturbate. Mate, I’m gonna be able to punch holes through bullet-proof glass by this time next week.
Nikutai Kankei: Physical Relationship
+ Smart use of its size and weight, feels well-balanced during use for various positions
+ Vagina does its damn best to lock you into place, nice and tight without going overboard
+ Tunnel is short but designed to stretch; encourages you to push in hard
+ Looks incredible in action (the onahole, that is)
– Anal could have done with a bit more stimulation
– Colour rubbed off the opening, unsure if this is a widespread issue
– Shipping is going to be a killer
(Please note this review will be updated in a few weeks/months in regards to the onahole’s long-term durability).