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masturbation review purposes
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Gotta admit, the only reason I initially gave even the slightest shit about watching Kemono Friends was because of the mass influx of hentai which started flooding Pixiv like four seconds after the first episode. This method of picking what anime to watch each season rarely fails me, and Kemono Friends was no exception.
The post-apocalyptic theme and whirlwind of likeable characters (who would often show up for just a single scene) all wrapped up in the animation budget of a Simple 2000 game really spoke to me.
But yeah, Kemono Friends ended up becoming a bit of a thing, so naturally Tamatoys decided to vomit all over the floor with another one of their parody onaholes.
They called it Kedamono Friends. See? There’s a ‘D’ in there now. Slightly different name, completely original Tamatoys IP.
Except this one did really well for them. It was the top seller on Amazon Japan for ages, and user reviews still have it as one of the highest rated blobs of rubber they’ve ever released. So… huh?
Cheap, decent-ish anime parody products are basically the onahole industry’s gateway drug (I started off with a K-On! themed one), so sure. Considering it’s all of ten bucks, I was curious to check out Kedamono Friends. Would it be a good place for someone to start sticking their penis into?
The box art drawn by LOLICEPT is excellent, but uh, that’s about it here.
Absolutely no thought has gone into the onahole itself, to the point where it feels like they almost forgot to do anything at all.
I do like that the outside has this sense of mystery to it though. Is Serval’s vagina some kind of warp pipe… car axle… pastry twist? Perhaps.
The material feels like trash and its thick smell resembling a condom factory burning down did my head in. It’s fucking bad. I legitimately felt nauseous just after taking these unboxing photos.
And there’s pretty much nothing inside. The walls are too thin with textures that feel like smooth mush. The only sensation I got was thanks to my hand gripping down tighter and tighter in desperation, and at that point you don’t really need a layer of rubber getting in the way of progress.
I mean hey, it’ll get you off, but so will covering your cock in some cling wrap and then wanking as normal. Also I just found out there are there are too many worldwide terms for cling wrap. ‘Saran’ wrap? LE GRILL?!
So that’s the end of Kedamono Friends review then. An obvious result of ‘not good, save your money for something better’.
Then I got kinda shitfaced halfway through writing this about a week ago. It was really good. Words were all over the place, and I had an incredibly stupid idea.
What if I dressed up the onahole? What if I put some shit on it to look like Serval, and then took a photo in a fuckin’ tree or whatever, with the caption “don’t eat me!”, followed by a photo of the onahole on my dick. Haha! That’d be hi-larious.
This got increasingly less funny in my head over time. Right to the point where I realised it was actually terrible, and that’s when I ran with it.
I went to the closest junk store with the goal of finding everything I’d need for hopefully two bucks.
Not exactly what I pictured.
Better yet, the glue had an amazing effect on the onahole which left it feeling even worse than before. I think it was eating through the material. Part of Kedamono Friends is still melted onto my desk and won’t come off. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t shove my penis in it after that.
I did end up taking the onahole outside for a photo though.
I am a bad Friend.
+ Nice box art
+ You can put it in a bin
– Boring to use and smells like death, avoid