Review: The Smell of Girls Boiled Boots

Product: The Smell of Girls Boiled Boots (女の子の蒸れたブーツの匂い)
Manufacturer: Tamatoys
Retailers: Kanojo Toys* (ETA: December 12) / otonaJP / AkibaFarm / Otona-Sekai

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Just imagine, the entire smell fetish division of Tamatoys has finally been granted some time out of the stench-dungeon laboratory to enjoy the thrills of a no-expenses paid camping trip. They’ve set up their tents, beers have been cracked open, fresh air is dangerously coursing through their veins – everyone’s having a good time.

Right as they’re about to start cooking dinner, the president of Tamatoys rocks up in his bumper car made entirely of onaholes. It makes a horrifying noise which was never meant to be processed by the human brain; a dense combination of jiggling and whistling.

“Oi lads what’s the good word” he asks, slamming the multi-vagina door shut as shock waves continue to ripple throughout the entire contraption.

A collective groan rumbles in response. The president tries to shake hands with his employees, but his gloves are made of even more onaholes which makes this a difficult task.

“What are ya boys cookin’ he–eeeuuuoooff!”

He’s walked right into a table full of meat and vegetables, sending it all tumbling down a hill.

“Aw shit cunts hey” he chuckles to himself, casually attempting to dust chunks of raw steak off his face. But he cannot. His onahole gloves once again amplify the difficulty of every day living.

The president of Tamatoys looks around at a crowd of frustrated faces and somehow feels a tad responsible. “Welp, desperate times call for desperate measures”.

He begins to take off his surprisingly normal boots – proving almost impossible – before violently shaking them off into a pot of water.

“Time to eat some BOOOOOOOILED BOOOOOOOOOOTS” he screams, rushing back to his onahole mobile and speeding off in a scene akin to the Fleshlight exhaust GIF times a billion.

Welcome to No Nose November, where I’ll be working on my backlog of smell fetish stuff? Sure as hell not gonna stop nutting. I’ve had a few bottles just sitting around for a while now, and being that we’re hitting Summer here (peak SWEATY season) it’s time to potentially burn my nostrils right out with an overdose of vaguely scented chemicals.

Today we’re diving into The Smell of Girls Boiled Boots, which I 100% purchased because the name was funny.

I’m honestly not big on the actual smell of shoes (having worked in a Salvation Army store where the shoe section was right next to the front counter and smelt like a thick layer of death all day long), but typically these attempts from Tamatoys resemble more of a musty, salty kinda… mix that really works.

Like last year’s Smell of School Girl’s Loafers which still drives me fucking wild; it just triggers whatever the hell gets me going about smell fetish stuff, I dunno.

The Smell of Girls Boiled Boots however does capture the harsh, eye-watering sting I remember from a pile of well-worn boots. This one’s surprisingly accurate and je-sus fuck is it rough.

The initial scent right after you spray it on something is absolutely overwhelming; just an intensely sour burst. It’s like getting kicked in the face by a bottle of vinegar wearing a smaller bottle of vinegar, but without the lingering nightmares of witnessing such a thing exist in reality. Huffing it right away is recommend to masochists only.

Give it about a minute though, and it settles into a much more tolerable hint of cheap leather and bitter rubber. There’s still some sting to it, but I think they’ve pretty much achieved the desired result? Sure smells like a boot.

One pump of the spray will last quite a while, gradually fading over the space of about an hour or so. Given that the first few seconds are the strongest, it probably won’t hang around the room either if that’s a concern. Sometimes these things manage to just fuckin’ soak into every surface.

But yeah, I mean… it’s not my thing personally, but I think those of you after a reasonably realistic smell of a girl’s sweaty knee-high boot will hopefully enjoy The Smell of Girls Boiled Boots. 

The Smell of Girls Boiled Boots

+ Really does PRETTY MUCH smell like hot stuffy boots
+ One burst of the spray will last a while, no need to keep reapplying unless you want to die

– The initial few seconds of the scent are insanely sour

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